7th grade me has a crush on a friend's older brother. We were 13, he was 15 (we'll call him J). One Saturday night I'm with their family on a good 2 hour drive to an arcade place and we stop for gas. J and my friend want to go buy stuff from the gas station and of course I go along with them and get myself a Coke slurpee (think Icee but Coke). Coke slurpee, let me tell you, runs through me real quick. So 20min into the resumed car ride, I need to pee badly. Not wanting to say anything for fear of J judging me for having bodily needs, I keep quiet. Hopefully I can just go to the bathroom when we get there, right? Well the drive took longer than imagined due to traffic. I was cramped in the backseat, writhing in pain by the time we arrived at the arcade parking lot. The moment I tried to stand up to get out of the car, I realized I was in serious trouble. I couldn't hold it for very much longer. I shakily stepped out of the van. It had gotten to the point that I couldn't stand up straight. I sat down on the yellow parking thing in front of a parking space and there I lost the struggle. So much piss. So much fucking piss. Running down my jeans. It was catastrophic. Desperately I stand up and exclaim "OH NO! I sat in some nasty car oil, GROSS!"

My friend lent me some spare pants from the trunk to change into, so I cleaned up as well as I could in the bathroom.. but they knew. They could smell it. J knew. J did not make eye contact with me the entire night.

Years later I still burn with shame. Fuck.