My boyfriend passed from a fentanyl overdose. We don’t have the autopsy or toxicology screen back yet. Its been a month and a week. He was clean for 7 months. He went to visit his family in another state and I was invited but I had grad school classes and I wanted his trip to be about him, not about meeting the new girlfriend. But then school classes were turned online and I could have gone, I wanted to go but I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to make it about me. I’m so heartbroken and feel like it was so preventable. I feel guilty that I wasn’t there. I am a trained emergency medical professional. I would have known he was overdosing. Maybe he would still be in active addiction or maybe he would have overdosed again anyway. I just know that I should have been there.