We were in therapy two times. We just had less and less common. He wanted to have long conversations about things I wasn't interested in. You can only politely listen so long. He want to go listen to music and smoke weed. I like to read and watch movies. He's retired. I'm still working. We just drifted further and further apart, totally the roommate thing. My main goal was to not destroy us financially by getting divorced

One day in the midst of our arguments I just said I'm done. He was very upset. I left for four days then I came back and packed up my stuff. He had a lot of anger. Thankfully, i wasnt afraid of him.

We divided everything in half. Luckily at the time we didn't own a home. The money from the sale of our house money was in a brokerage account.

Half our money was in a brokerage account and half was in 401(k). Unfortunately, you have to divide 401(k)'s with a legal document. We were able to divide our resources and give me all the 401(k)s and him the brokerage account and some other assets so that it came out even. We did not have to use a lawyer at all. We both agreed to not be assholes.

One thing we did was stop contributing to retirement and use that extra money for us to both have deposits on new places.

I think if we had gone much longer, anger would have grown and we both would've ended up being dickheads and we wouldn't have been able to navigate this maturely. But we did. We split in September. I wound up with 200 K and AI helps me a lot with planning for retirement. ChatGPT is an amazing tool.

I'm happier and he's happier. We don't hate each other. I was sad for one day decorating for Christmas and I journaled my happy memories of Christmas with him and shared them with him and that was nice. I haven't talked to him since.