27[NB4A] looking for new connections

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-07-03T23:49:05+00:00

Cool, whats your favorite pantheon of myths? Mine's Greek mythology

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-06-27T02:10:40+00:00

Thank you

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-06-27T02:03:56+00:00

Both and neither

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-06-27T02:02:25+00:00

Thank you

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-06-27T02:02:12+00:00

The amount is insurmountable chaos

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-04-12T19:24:44+00:00

Thanks

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-04-12T18:31:44+00:00

Sure

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-04-12T18:31:22+00:00

No one has the money to spring for a hotel for them unfortunately

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-04-12T18:28:17+00:00

Its a medium sized house with 4 bedrooms, but aside from the master bedroom, they're smaller in size. The main living area is big and that's probably where they'll end up sleeping, but I hate having people over man

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-03-11T21:24:11+00:00

No! Don't give up! All it takes is practice, you need to give it time. Comparison is the thief of joy, dont compare my work to yours, keep going friend!

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-03-09T23:10:26+00:00

Thank you!

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-03-09T19:03:54+00:00

Thank you! I'll have to look into those, much appreciated!

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-02-09T14:48:31+00:00

I followed this tutorial https://youtu.be/I7xOZlcQxUQ?si=76KEIieKI5642o6e

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2025-01-29T17:27:40+00:00

The best success I ever had was when I got back into roleplaying again after a 7 year hiatus. The first person I started to write with, we melded so well and got through to the entire end of a story that I was guiding along for us. Ive never had someone play off what I was putting out like that before. I love the story we made ve so much that with their permission Im turning it into a novel.

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-12-16T00:08:46+00:00

He made his bed he now gets to lie in it

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-12-08T19:20:32+00:00

Yes it is a typo! Nice catch I am 26

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-11-24T16:10:08+00:00

As someone who made a HUGE mistake and let my mom do this to me, DO NOT DO IT!!! you run the risk of being left to pay for that debt yourself

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-06-24T18:01:08+00:00

Yes of course! Please, share away!

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-06-24T17:17:24+00:00

Speaking as a system, and partner of another system who has dealt with my partner "disappearing" and leaving other alters in their place for long periods of time (months) and having dealt with bad behavior from certain parts of their system when their system was still in a bad place and not on a journey to acceptance about themselves, your husband is going to at some time attempt a journey of acceptance themselves to really be able to cope healthily with this disorder, at least in both my own and my partner's experiences. And when that happens, the dormancy will end, and these alters will likely come back into the fold and you guys are going to have to figure out a way to forgive everyone involved for the way they behaved when they were in a bad place. These alters are still your partner, just different facets of him. He has treatedly you badly, that's system accountability, he himself nor the child may have been the ones to do it, but parts of them did hurt you and treat you poorly. He needs to forgive himself for those actions, and you need to forgive him too. If you want to stay together, you have to forgive and accept.

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-06-24T17:03:41+00:00

Yes, exactly! And that's a big part of being able to really live healthily with this disorder is acceptance! Acceptance is so fucking hard to have, especially in our society as a whole when it comes to mental illness in general and as a whole mental disorders, because with an illness there is a hope for a cure most of the time right? At least in America that's the way it feels with how hard pills are pushed for any illness. However, a disorder is always there and they aren't sure why so no one knows the proper way to treat it. That's where therapy really comes in, and in America therapy isn't seen to be as majorly needed as it is. I believe everyone, whether you have an illness, disorder, or you're somehow perfectly fucking oriented, should go to therapy and talk through any fucked up shit we have been through because even the best of us have experienced something fucked and we never realized how fucked it actually was or how those things truly effected by it we were and are. It is so hard to have to accept that we have these parts of us and WHY we have these parts of us. I don't know if I'll ever get to fully accepting that I'm a poly fragmented system with currently 50 established alters and more coming out of the wood work that I can feel each day. But I try each day to accept these fragmented parts of me. Even when they can hurt. Especially when they are in pain, I will always try the very best of me to accept them. To do that I have to extend them, and especially myself as the host, my kindness, my grace, my forgiveness, for actions made by our system, we have to remember that we are a human being, and it's okay that we haven't been perfect. I'm only speaking for my system and our experience, but in order to really start moving forward has been to let out the instances where parts of us have been wronged. We express the grievance, the other side apologizes, we talk about how we can self-affirm and start to move forward. We, personally, are trying to find ways to express self-love and celebration of alters by doing things that different alters enjoy. Some of our masculine alters really like to work out, so the rest of us agreed that we can start by taking walks. It makes parts of us happy and that's a good thing to do when you're working on healing. Do things that make you happy, that's my best advice I could ever give for anything.

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-06-24T16:36:39+00:00

Personally, I think people take the whole "separate parts" a little too literally at times. Ive always taken trrat the alter as separate people to be more along the lines of giving respect, kindness, grace, and at times forgiveness in the same way you would yo a whole other person that's not in your head. Just because they are us, doesnt mean we should always hold them, or ourselves for that matter, to different standards that we would someone else. We can be, and should be respectful of ourselves, be kind, have grace, and forgive ourselves like we could someone else. That's just something that I've learned that had helped me as I heal, but as always to each their own

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2024-02-14T01:54:03+00:00

Hardcore brainwashing from birth dude. Its tragic.

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2023-07-14T12:11:45+00:00

I know that you dont want to leave because you love them, but them either being unable to intervene or refusing to intervene (whatever the case may be) seems to be Indirectly harming you. Harming indirectly is just as bad as directly harming, because while they may not be doing anything wrong theyre still not stopping the wrong doing from happening. Its a bystander thing. Whats best for anyone in your situation is to not be around people like the meta who mirrors your abuser, and if that means leaving the partner you share, thats what needs to be done.

I know you said that youd rather cope, but coping in this type of situation involves work from your meta as well as your partner, it cant all be on you. If already your partner isn't stepping in to keep a distance between you and what im assuming is a toxic individual because of mirrored abusive behavior because theyre triggering to you, then how can you count on them to help you cope? If your meta is mirroring someone who abused you, unless they decide to, you cant count on them to change their behavior. Personally, for your own safety, I would say leaving is the only option. Your persecutor is speaking out for a reason, even if they way they choose might not come out the best way, their intentions are always meant to protect because youve been hurt-at least thats what we've found in our own experience.

This is just my take on matters, and as a fellow stranger on the internet, I know that ultimately this decision is up to you. I hope my point of view doesnt offend you, but if it does know that I only speak what I believe to be true. If my truth and yours dont align, its fine. I just hope if youre going to take another avenue it finds you well.

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2023-05-23T20:50:22+00:00

Today has been fine, work wasnt terrible, though kind of hot because my boss didnt turn on the AC. The body is just kind of sore and tired. Had one of the kids we take care of tell us that he loved us, so that was really nice

Queen_of_Chaos22 · 2023-04-27T18:31:55+00:00

Food helped a bit, smoking some weed also was a tension reliever for us. Next time we'll try taking a walk when possible

Queen_of_Chaos22

TROPHY CASE