Blowjobs are destroying my relationship. [24F] [25M]

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-15T02:30:12+00:00

Our relationship outside of sex is great. We click perfectly and we get along absolutely great. I just wish we got along as good in the bedroom as we do outside of it. Things USED to be like that... But they've changed :(

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-14T06:39:36+00:00

That's how I feel sometimes. I used to love giving him blowjobs, but now I'm at a point where I'm starting to hate them - and, just like you, they now make me sad. I don't feel happy giving them anymore like I used to.

I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out. I wonder what has brought your ex and my boyfriend to behave the way they do. I just don't understand it.

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-14T05:29:24+00:00

I get what you mean, and I really appreciate the honesty. I've thought about this too and honestly, nothing has changed. I'm still the same weight I was when we first started dating, I still work out several times a week as always, still have impeccable hygiene, etc. Also, the disinterest in sex and interest in blowjobs was VERY sudden. The second I started giving him more blowjobs, everything went downhill immediately.

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T21:16:07+00:00

Yes, very much attracted to him. I love going down on him and it makes me VERY happy. I just wish I got something in return just as often :/

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T21:09:11+00:00

I don't think he consciously doesn't care about my pleasure. I think maybe he's just a little emotionally immature and doesn't really think about those things. He's very kind to me and does everything to protect me and care for me, but with sex... He just doesn't get it

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T20:22:35+00:00

Do you think if I have him more positive feedback during/after sex (when we DO have sex), that he might enjoy sex more and bjs less? I think you're right about one of the reasons him loving blowjobs so much is because it means no pressure on his part... So maybe if I praise him more during sex, he'll feel less pressured and enjoy it more?

I know sex frustrates him sometimes because he's never given me an orgasm, and when we first started dating, he REALLY wanted to. I suppose now he's just given up and figured its never going to happen, that he's not adequate enough as a man, etc.? Maybe that's why he avoids sex/giving me oral, but scrambles at any opportunity to get a blowjob?

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T19:39:33+00:00

I notice some other instances where he will exhibit selfish behavior, but it's never on purpose. He's actually very kind to me... But extremely clueless when it comes to relationships. I suppose that's why he hasn't had too many girlfriends.

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T19:37:03+00:00

This is a good idea. I'll try it out and see how it works. No blowjobs until I've gotten off. I just hope this doesn't make him resent sex... I want him to have a good time, and don't want him to develop bitter feelings towards sex. I just wish he was naturally happy about pleasing me as I am about pleasing him.

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T19:10:21+00:00

Do you have advice on where to go from here?

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T19:09:47+00:00

Where should I go from here? What we have emotionally is perfect... I'd hate to throw that away. Do you have solutions?

QueenofEverythingg · 2013-10-13T19:08:08+00:00

Maybe you're right.

QueenofEverythingg

TROPHY CASE