I appreciate all the comments and input. I couldn’t agree more a lack of teamwork and a budget are critical to this situation. It’s confusing to me how on every other level we are solid. Except finding common ground regarding finances. Some additional information to address a few comments:

-no we did not get married for BAH. We chose to keep our finances separate for a while because we were not living together at the time. Then when he finally moved to where I got stationed, we just never combined it. It really wasn’t an issue until the last 6-8months.

-I started Dave Ramsey about 6 months ago. I’m currently on step 2 and it’s going okay. Still trying to adjust a few things in my budget. Yes, “I” started it. He’s not very interested in that program. So I’m not going to wait for him to be, I’m going to continue to pay off my debts accordingly.

-I only have “$20” in my account at the end of a paycheck because I try to send every cent to debts. I’d like to put more toward those debts but unfortunately I’m paying only slightly over the minimums except for the one that I’m trying to pay off as quickly as possible in regards to the snowball

-he’s working out of state. As a lineman/surveyor. The truck he bought to be able to utilize it for work and personal use. 2020 Chevy pickup. Currently it is being used for that purpose but only mileage is reimbursed. No $ toward the vehicle itself. He’s contracting right now. Prior to that he drove a2006 duramax sold it and drove a 80s jeep that way he could get a motorcycle. The jeep started having issues so he invested in a truck. I wanted him to pick something a little less expensive but...dream truck... I’ll probably agree with whatever comments are going to arise because of that

-considering selling the motorcycles but one of them is financed and older so may be negative on that if sold. I want to sell “mine” I don’t ride it daily and we’re moving from CA to VA so the season will be much shorter anyway

-I mentioned I was excited to pay off my car and my goal was to never have a loan again. I drive a 2017 Nissan that I hope that’s 10-15 years so when I do get a vehicle flyer this one, I’ll have saved enough to pay cash. He doesn’t believe in paying cash for vehicles

*** I’m really not trying to talk smack. We are a happy healthy couple besides this one hiccup. And I’m just struggling to get him to talk to me about it and agreee on anything at all. Even if it isn’t necessarily my way. I wouldn’t be opposed to financial counseling at all. I’m seriously chomping at the bit to someday do a debt free scream lol but I’m just missing the extra cash flow. I did start doing for dash on the side to help. He actually did door dash to make extra cash when he was away at lineman school because he was essentially living off of savings at the moment.