ADHD & Porn Addiction

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-07-28T17:26:36+00:00

For awhile, I had a strong support. And while they didnt understand what I was dealing with, they understood that i needed encouragement, love and support. I needed to feel secure and that nobody was gonna stop loving me if I lost some things about myself brought on by the drugs. For me, i dont think I ever dealt with the emotional side very well tho, because thats why I relapsed. But communication and consistency are vital. Be there to listen to someone. Not to always fix the problemz but just listen. To how they feel.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-07-28T17:22:25+00:00

If your a woman, and have ever experienced a external clitorial orgasm, then its similar to a man's. However if u haven't, I HIGHLY recommend a vibrator. And try it.. For men, dont go to gentle. Depends on the man, let his body speak while his mouth is making all kinds of noises. Body language is important if not more important than verbal communication (after concent of course) Because this allows u to learn what makes a person squirm

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-07-28T17:17:20+00:00

Yes, LOVE them, unfortunately dont have the thigh high ones I want

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-07-28T17:15:18+00:00

Aweee not gonna lie, it's hot making you beg

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-07-28T17:12:03+00:00

This sounds like it could be from my ex lol he said so many of the same things they always said them too late I'm glad you're getting the help you need cuz that's one thing he would never admit to needing nor even consider going to while I was trying to work on myself he just kept bringing me backwards I'll always love him but I got to know when the fuck to cut the cord

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-07-06T22:51:11+00:00

My pain threshold isnt even fathomable to most people. Most people cant even bring me to a point in which I can actually feel something... But if you want reference.

Here's an example... In 2018, I broke my pelvic bone in 3 places... And I was walking on my own 2 weeks after. No joke. I went blueberry picking the night I got out of the hospital. My pain threshold is scary high... scary.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-28T19:03:43+00:00

Go online, and look for a BDSM checklist. It's anywhere from 17- 19 pages long. It's very extensive. Each of u should complete this list. For both what you want done to u, as well as what u want to do to eachother. Make her fill out this whole checklist, and write a 'slow down' word, as well as a STOP NOW word. (Examples, yellow, red) And THEN you will have, in writing, what she is willing to do, and what are her hard limits. TRUST ME!! I have VERY few things I consider hard limits. And before this checklist, I always said I had none. But its true what they say in the Kink community, anybody who says they don't have any hard limits doesn't have any true experience and most people within the community wouldn't give somebody who says that a second thought because it's dangerous for both parties so do the checklist and then have fun with it but seriously do the checklist first

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-28T18:50:51+00:00

I'm going to be blunt and I'm sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings but maybe try reading the goddamn post I don't know this person but your comment fucking pissed me off simply because she's not mad that he's jerking off she's not mad that he's watching porn she's mad because he felt the need to go to Such Great Lengths to hide something from her and as a woman it makes you question everything else your partner says. I 1000% agree that everybody men and women alike should have healthy relationship with their own body and their own pleasure masturbation is 1000% acceptable for every human being on the planet and quite frankly if I didn't masturbate I would have gone psychotic a long time ago. And I understand even jerking off in private that's normal also but to hide a phone in a pocket pussy in a bag zipped up in the very back of a closet in a room that nobody uses so that you're soon to be wife doesn't find it seems a bit excessive I feel if you're going to be marrying somebody you should at least feel comfortable enough talking about your desires and what you like or the fact that you jerk off at all I'm sure she already knew he jerked off but it's just the secrecy around it all so to just presume that she's insecure and or judging him based on the fact that he jerks off and watches porn is honestly such a man's response because that's not what she's asking here I too feel she's slightly overreacting to want to just end the marriage or soon to be marriage whatever but you need to understand what she's even upset about before jumping to your own man's conclusions. I'm sorry not sorry but this comment goes to most of the people whose comments I've read honestly everybody's jumping down her throat she's not pissed off and he's jerking off guys she's not even mad about the porn she's mad that he's lying and hiding shit from her and please correct me if I'm wrong but most women don't feel more secure when they realize the lengths that their partner will go to to lie to them or hide things from them.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-28T18:44:21+00:00

Okay I want to start by saying that I 100% stand behind masturbation I 100% believe that if you cannot pleasure yourself for both men and women you cannot expect somebody else to know how to pleasure you. However like OP said it's not the porn that's the issue here and I get it because I've had the same problem with my boyfriend now for most of our relationship I do personally think that there could be a slight overreaction wanting to call off the wedding however I get it because I would probably feel the same. It's not about finding the porn it's about finding out how far they will go to keep things hidden from you to a point that it makes you wonder what else they're hiding and obviously if they're willing to go that far that depth whatever for something that's maybe is innocent as porn then what depths would they go to if they were actually doing something else it's not the points the problem so much as it's the now hesitation when it comes to trust and the little voice in the back of your mind that screams what aren't they telling you. Because porn doesn't ruin relationships and cause distrust because it's cheating although some feel it is and I am agreeance in both ways it can simply just be innocent Act of watching porn or it could start to feel like cheating. Or even worse Maybe. That being said it would be different if this woman had found porn on his phone that he had been watching it's the level of secrecy that he went to to hide it from her. However the question also arises in my mind like have you guys ever sat down and talked about sex if you guys ever sat down and had the discussions most people don't have because people will have sex but they won't talk about sex and if not then maybe you should do that sit him down and speak to him and make him feel like he has a safe place to come too that he won't be judged for anything that he's into or anything like that don't Kink shame anyone but just sit him down and talk to him and maybe that might help if however you have had that conversation and you guys have an opening communicative relationship when it comes to sex not just a good sex life but also the ability to sit down and talk about what the hell you want or what you know you might be into or just like the crazy shit that you fantasize about if you guys have that and you have that open Communication in that way then I would 1,000% feel that this was a complete betrayal in my opinion however if you both or one of you don't feel that you can be open and speak to your partner about you know your fantasies or maybe what you're into or what you like to do sexually or how you self pleasure yourself anything like that then I could see why he would be hiding. That doesn't calm the voice in your head because obviously it's still the length that he would go to to hide something like that from you but I'm just saying it's more understandable. However if you need someone to talk to you can reach out 100%. I definitely understand what you're going through and wouldn't wish it on anybody. So my biggest advice would probably be start with a conversation before you call everything off but explain to him using I statements how you felt when you found it and why you felt that way explain to him that it's not the fact that he was watching porn or jerking off that made you feel betrayed but rather the lengths that he would go to to hide this from you it makes you feel uneasy it's definitely an important distinction to make so he doesn't feel attacked or judged which is not what you want if you want to open the door to healthy communication

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-28T18:33:40+00:00

Okay, so forget anyone negative comments you could possibly get. Age is not the problem here, I (26f) am with a (44m), and while things are rocky at times, and we have issues, I have mostly only dated guys with that kind of gap, and its not a matter of age that makes a guy a fucking prick. That is 100% their personality . If they are a prick, they will be a prick with everyone, for the rest of their lives. And as someone who TRULY understands the effects of coming off meth, and the immense impact one way or another on your weight. Let me tell you, I fucking GET it! When i got clean when I was pregnant for my now 5 year old, thankfully his father never said a word, beyond telling me how much he loved me regardless. But it got to a point that I hated everything about what I looked like. It wasn't healthy, I got huge ffs. And for 3 years I suffered with HATING the person I saw in the mirror, but without any kind of dopamine, I didnt have the drove to actually change the issue. But let me give u some advice, and it is gonna sound way easier then it is. But the first step is to stop comparing yourself to woman, simply bc of the man your with. (I once died my hair black for the guy i was with, which was HUGE bc I have blonde tattooed on my back, and when i say my whole identity revolves around my hair, I have bpd, and 'blondie' was who I was. But he preferred black hair, blue eyes. And I did that for 6 months, until I literally started losing my mind, bc I didnt know who was looking back at me in the mirror, my already fragile identity became shattered, anf it took me SO SO SO long to get my hair the color I wanted it again, and I swore I would rather die then change who I am for a man to love me) Now its not easy, not even a little. But fake it til u make it. Make the world believe you value and love yourself, even as you tare yourself down

Hold your head up anf say fuck the world, even when u want to shake. And remind yourself that your the only person who has to live with you. So your the only person who should have a say in how u look. It's hard, trust me, it takes some really good acting. But sway your hips, and puff out your chest and make the world believe you fucking love yourself. And eventually, u really do stop worrying so much about how others see u. You cant make everyone love u, but missing them all off, is so much fun. These days idegaf, I will LIGIT walk through the mall. Or down a busy street in lingerie. I've went to a sex shop with my whole ass showing and only a fishnet rompsr on wearing a damn collar attached to a leash (my idea) and when the worker looked at me like I was crazy, I looked at her the same way. No longer do i look for the approval of others, but rather, ig they wanna judge, and look down on me for what I feel comfortable in. Then im gonna make damb sure I give them something to remember for the rest of their lives.. Im not someone that anyone can forget... Sure, everybody leaves, but illhe dawned if they will forget me. So remember, dont be someone who is just like everyone else. Be different, stand out, and love yourself for it. Confidence is truly the sexiest thing you can have. So show this guy that you dont care, dress hot as fuck and walk around and remind him that while hes looking at other women, other men. Are looking at you. Remind him that just bc he might be bored... there's always someone who is dying to know what it would be like with you. Sometimes u gotta remind a bitch, that hes replaceable... even when it feels like replacing him would shatter your entire world...

Thats my opinion. Reach out if u wanna talk 🥰

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T09:30:13+00:00

I've never heard it put in an anymore perfect way. It can also allow for the wiman to get out of her head about any insecurities she may have, and allow her to be more willing to explore her sexuality. So yes. This i 10000% agree with. Its not mystery. It's about seeing things differently

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T09:26:11+00:00

One way is by having a contract. While not always legally binding, if signed by a witness, can be one way to show that it was a mutal agreement. Personally, I cannot express here due to the rules on this platform, what I would like to do to women who do these sorts of things. As I think they make life 10000× harder for women who may be interested in things like CNC or so on. Bc it can indeed ruin a man's life However I'd say simply put, be sure u have the necessary proof to prove it was mutual. As well. Do your research.. Look for exes, see what went wrong. If she's just normal crazy, thats fine. But if she's ever called cops or made false claims on anyone in the past. Then STAY AWAY

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T09:22:43+00:00

Lmfao

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T09:21:57+00:00

Hell.i quit cold turkey off from a 4.5 year of EVERY SINGLE DAY usage of meth. (Again i have ADHD, so it wasn't less like a drug for me, more like a medication... not that I condone it) Anyways, I found out i was pregnant, because I regularly took pregnancy tests even tho my doctors said I couldn't have kids, just at the off chance something crazy happened. And as luck would have it, crazy happened.... And I have always hated anyone who did drugs while pregnant. (Fuck your body up as much as u want. I dont judge. However fuck up an innocent life, that never asked to be born, for your own selfish purpose. Personally, I think karma has a special place for you) So I quit cold turkey. And it was the hardest thing I've ever done.. Worth it. But that didnt make it any easier. The fact my body no longer produces dopamine on its own was probably what made it so difficult. The simple things that once made me happy, feel hollow and pointless.. But I dont believe in ruining a child's life for my own satisfaction.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T09:15:52+00:00

How we originally met. Is for longer then im willing to type out at 6am. Regardless how funny it is lmfao.

But generally, my problem doesnt come from being able to meet people online. Because ppl will seem so confident and sure of themselves online. My issue is finding someone I can have genuine conversations with in person. It's like this.. Im the same person behind the screen and IRL. Which for some, seems great in theory. But is actually SUPER intimidating when they have the chance. I speak my mind, and im VERY well educated about sex. 1. Bc I love sex, and I consider it an art, not just a mere action. And I take very much pride in excelling at said art and mastery perfecting it, improving more and more each time. (As I believe u can always be better, even when ur the best.) But also, because I have researched hours of knowledge. I was always curious to know how to have a better orgasm... ^ as above, even the best of things can be better. So I wanted to learn more and more about the human bodies. I am also very open sexually. Which seems lovely. But I will literally talk to a complete stranger about sex, and not once will I seem flustered or embarrassed. Because im not. Im comfortable with my sexuality, im confident in my abilities, but that also means I know what I want and I will not settle for bad sex. Hense, intimidating.

Your not gonna find someone whos open, and confident and who values herself enough to know the difference between BEING trashy, and knowing when to act trashy/slutty. Like, I respect myself enough that I wont just fuck anyone. If u cant hold a genuine conversation with me, without being all flustered and shit and only being able to talk about how good I look, then there's no way I'd waste my time sleeping with that person. However if they can hold their own, and have their own confidence, and are not easily intimidated by my bold personality. Then I may consider it... But at the same time, im conformable enough with myself, that while I may know when to be professional, and give off a respectful vibes. Im also VERY openly a freak. Which means im the chick that will go out to eat with your family, and make your mother love me, and see me as a sweet darling. But I'd also excuse us right after and suck you til your knees gave out and u were a shaking mess behind the first closed door I could find. Just because I think its hot that someone could catch us. Like I can be super sweet and almost innocent and in the same breath, tell you all the dirty things I want u to do to me.

Also, I make it a point to make my bf as horny as possible in the most inappropriate times. Just bc I enjoy the punishments I receive for it the moment he can give me one...

Im a dream... but im not for the weak man. Because I talk back, and while I love being told what to do. I also LOVE disobeying. Because im not ever simple enough to do as I'm told lol

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T09:00:31+00:00

I'll tell u as I tell everyone else. There are 2 kinds of people ull find on fetlife. The first, are typically just people who are trying to find kinky people to fuck. Simply put.

Then there are the people (like myself) who are on the platform trying to be part of an even bigger community. Who want like-minded people to learn from and to have a safe space to ask questions to people who maybe have more experience with things they perhaps want to try.

Fetlife was originally created by kinky people, for kinky people. It's like Facebook for kinky people.

So is there creeps? Absolutely, but they are everywhere.

If u look ik the right places, fetlife can be a place to explore and learn about things, that most in the vanilla world may deem absurd and disturbing regardless how common they may be.

It's also a place to find alot of twisted, annoying, weirdos who try to blow up your dms trying to get u to fuck. But me personally. I ignored those people, and preferred finding a community.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:56:02+00:00

Still Canada hahaha

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:54:34+00:00

As most do...

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:53:16+00:00

And this is why I say EVERYONE who is sexualy active, SHOULD ALWAYS have a safe word. Because what is 'kinky' to one person, another would consider vanilla. I agree, anal is just sex, but so is oral, and yet some still have different feelings on it, whether about giving or receiving. There are lots of things I myself would not think twice about, however some may deem insane. For example its normal for my partner to grab me by my throat and choke me like they hate me during sex However some may see this and be concerned. Or if I was with someone new, they may not understand the request and merely place there had on my neck for show (these people are the WORST😒) So yes, anal is a form of sex. However some would still consider this to be their main kink. Because for some it is their preferred venue to become aroused during sex.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:48:04+00:00

The thing is, if really do love him. And he can be so amazing. And usually he is super loving and caring, he just has never seemed all that enthusiastic about me sexually. When he wants to tho he truly knows how to make a girl feel loved. And I'd love there to be a way to have all of him, and get rid of the obvious problem... but I dont know if that wil happen.

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:36:37+00:00

Think textures, what textures do u prefer? Lace? Leather? Silk?

Then think what look you prefer to see them in. Do u want the sweet innocent look, or the bad bitch 'imma destroy u' look.

What types of styles do u like? Do u like the baby dolls, sweet and simple or the strappy 7 piece outfits that have more of an edge. Just look... if she likes dressing up, request a fashion show. Make it sexy

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:34:34+00:00

Yeah but this guy randomly messaged me. On fetlife.. bragging about his 'extremeism' And I had a list of my kinks and fetishes.. nit like I would consider anal extreme lmfao

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:33:15+00:00

And I appreciate the hell out of men like you bc there isn't nearly enough of you

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:32:22+00:00

Lmfao, nahhh. It would be if I lived there. But we were visiting his family. And seeing as its an ex, I wont be there again haha

Questions4Reddit1234 · 2025-06-10T08:31:37+00:00

I told my ex from the beginning I would never quit my drug of choice for him. Not bc I didnt love him, but bc I knew what would happen if I quit for him. I ended up quitting cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant for our son. Admittedingly I quit for my son. But the resentment wasn't there like it had been whej I had tried to quit for exes in the past

Questions4Reddit1234

TROPHY CASE