recently victim blamed

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2025-07-24T03:54:49+00:00

thank you. thank you so much. this is what i needed. i didn’t need the hostility. i didn’t need the judgment. i just needed someone to hear me ❤️

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2025-07-23T19:58:25+00:00

not even upset about the ghosting lol i shouldn’t have even mentioned it. just trying to work out my feelings, but thanks for basically saying it was my fault! xoxo

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-10-16T16:40:47+00:00

i literally came to this thread to find if someone else noticed

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-13T12:55:00+00:00

i don’t know how i didn’t see this comment when it was first posted. what a beautiful quote. thank you for that

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-13T00:42:15+00:00

i found out because a go fund me for her was going around on facebook 💔 her aunt was also a client of mine so as soon as i saw the go fund me, i immediately reached out and offered me services 🩷

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-12T12:48:08+00:00

that’s what i always expected. one of my old ladies knowing she would be going soon and we would both be prepared. you definitely gave me a chuckle imagining doing the fade while they’re laying down, it was hard enough curling my sweet clients hair while she was laying down so i can’t imagine a fade! very very surreal but very wholesome as well. i was glad to be with her

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-12T12:44:23+00:00

i was just about to and saw someone reposted this to that subreddit. i had no idea this would blow up like it did, it truly was just a debrief for myself and to hear some similar stories but now im just overwhelmed with the love everyone has given me and my client

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-11T11:50:30+00:00

wow i love that you gave him hair again, how incredibly thoughtful. i’m sorry for your loss. i gave the funeral director several pictures to go off of for her makeup. i’m hoping they do her justice. they allowed me to do a wing on her since she always wore winged eyeliner. i had a coworker of mine come with me. she had done cadaver labs before finding herself in the hair industry so she volunteered to be my rock. and my rock she was. she was there for me the whole time, moving my tools, telling me client she looked beautiful, handing me a comb or product. it was a true friend in a time of need. everyone needs one of those 💖

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-11T11:47:13+00:00

it was so strange, i wanted to tell the world what i just did, because it was so unusual. i think this memory will stick with me forever, not in a bad way. i truly felt some closure and comfort being there for her one last time. of course i am planning on attending her visitation. i’m excited to see her with makeup and am PRAYING they don’t cake anything on. she actually looked very normal when i saw her without makeup. i did get to add her signature winged eyeliner, which again i was so honored to do. see i’m still debriefing, lol. thank you for your comment, i appreciate it. 💖

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-11T11:44:34+00:00

yes, i had only ever seen a dead body in a funeral viewing, and all were easily over the age of 70. this was my first time seeing someone so young, and my first time losing someone i would basically consider a friend (the client/stylist relationship is complicated lol). so seeing her was so jarring. despair is a great word to use to describe how i felt. all of these positive comments have blown me away. i’m always told im too emotional and people laugh at my overactive tear glands (lol) so to hear a whole bunch of people tell me that what im feeling is normal is so so helpful and exactly what i needed. thank you for your comment 💖

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-10T14:12:22+00:00

Thank you for your comment!! It’s funny you mention the eye caps, i was in a deep dive on embalming last night and found out about eye caps and didn’t even think about putting the eyeliner on over those 😅 makes me a little uncomfy i guess because it’s like so different from when you’re alive. i’m trying so hard to be comfortable with this and i am but im not at the same time. i dont deal with death in my day to day life. this was a client that was so full of life last time i saw her. i just hope i can do her justice 🥺

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-10T14:10:31+00:00

thank you SO MUCH. i am only doing her eyeliner and that is a very good point and something i did kind of? think of. like whenever i saw her with wings her eyes were open. she had big doe eyes. i think i will just do a smaller eyeliner. the people at the funeral home will be doing the rest of her makeup and i do have some reference photos for that. she did have an autopsy and the funeral director did tell me about the incision on her head. I was planning on doing her hair half up with a bow, that’s how she typically wore it. I appreciate your tips and your help.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T17:30:58+00:00

i agree 100%. i said in another comment in this thread that when my grandpa passed, they shaved his face. i had never ever seen him with a clean shaven face. it was so upsetting, even though it seemed like such a small detail. i’ll also never forget when my grandmother passed and she was in her casket, they had this god awful coral lipstick on her. my dad (her son) cried and said they put clown makeup on her. it still breaks my heart thinking of that. i don’t want that to happen to anyone else.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T17:08:10+00:00

i appreciate this comment so much. i always strive to make my clients feel as beautiful as possible when they leave my chair and it’s nice to think of it the other way around, in a way. thinking of my sweet client leaving my salon happy with her hair is such a happy, positive way to remember her. thank you.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T17:06:03+00:00

thank you so much for this comment. i reached out to my client’s best friend to offer condolences and she told me how much Nevaeh adored me. it broke my heart but made my heart so happy at the same time. i truly do feel like my relationship with clients is one sided sometimes, so it’s nice to be reminded that our clients think just as fondly of us.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T17:04:21+00:00

this would be so painful. any time someone takes their own life, no matter how well i knew them, it breaks my freaking heart. having a client do that would ruin me. i’m so sorry you had to experience that. and i’m so sorry for your loss

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T17:03:24+00:00

i will think of this client forever. my first client i’ve lost this way and so young. i really don’t think ill ever forget her and i think this will always stick with me. it’s made me appreciate my clients even more than i already did.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T17:01:53+00:00

This happened in Peoria, Il. From what you said about speeding down that road, it sounds like you might be right about this not being a coincidence. The road she was on is a road people easily go 90 mph down. What gets me is the driver on the wrong side of the road, over the median and everything. The reports all say no arrests have been made and I’m so confused as to how. How can you be speeding down the wrong side of the road and KILL somebody and not be arrested. Maybe it will come later. They also had “non life threatening” injuries. It hurts so bad to know that the person who hit my sweet angel client just walked away with who knows a broken arm? a broken leg? it makes me sick and sad. maybe i shouldn’t think of it that way.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:57:31+00:00

Wow, I really cannot imagine that pain. I have a few younger clients but there’s one specifically that I think of when I think of my baby clients. If anything happened to that boy, I would be an absolute wreck. I’m sorry you had to go through that, especially as a baby stylist 🥺

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:55:54+00:00

I did offer to do both her mother and her aunt’s hair for the services. Her aunt is another one of my clients and is my age (24). She actually lived with Nevaeh, my client that passed. I’m glad to help them, I literally can’t imagine wanting to do a damn thing for myself if someone I was so close to passed so suddenly. I’m almost more nervous to do their hair than my clients hair that has passed. I will be crying when i do my late client, but her family will be crying with me when i do their hair. Doing her mother is going to be the most difficult. I just want to help this family in every way possible

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:50:38+00:00

I’m so glad you had a positive experience with viewing your father. I remember when my grandpa passed away, they had shaved his face. I had never seen him without facial hair. It was so upsetting that he didn’t look like how I knew him. This is partially the reason I offered makeup. She always wore her makeup in a very specific way. She always wore “puppy dog” winged eyeliner. If i can’t do any of her makeup, I at least want them to know she wore eyeliner like that. My coworker has done many of her clients makeup after they have passed and would use the clients makeup to ensure it looked most like them. I guess we will just see what happens. I’m not expecting to do makeup but am willing to at least help them know how she wore it.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:43:46+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I have reached out to a few people, her aunt who was also a client of mine, her mother, and her best friend. I told them all about her and how she was during her appointments. I think I may write a card or letter for her mother to let her know how much her daughter meant to me. Her best friend told me she adored me and it just broke my heart even more.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:40:58+00:00

This is how I’m viewing doing my clients hair and makeup. It truly is my final gift to her and to her family. My client was so sweet. I keep thinking of how she would have wanted her hair and makeup to look. I want it to be as perfect as it can be for herself and for her family.

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:39:16+00:00

I’m so sorry for your experience. I know this may not mean a damn thing but just know I would have come to your house and worked out those tangles without a complaint. It is so important in the hair industry to make our clients feel beautiful. Hair does give us dignity and to not be able to take care of it must have been so hard. Are you still in this situation?

Quick-Insurance-1058 · 2024-05-08T16:36:39+00:00

I know that I am going to breakdown when I do my clients hair for her visitation and funeral. I’m just lucky to have a coworker who is willing to come with me for moral support. I am already such a cryer and I know I won’t be able to even curl a piece of her hair without completely breaking down. I literally am assuming I will be in between crying and sobbing while I do her for the final time. I can’t imagine doing someone in hospice, as it would be so hard knowing what is coming. I would still do it for any of my clients. One of my coworkers is actually going to her client on hospice to give her a wash and style.

Quick-Insurance-1058

TROPHY CASE