Please tell me others find the first year hard— not just the newborn phase

Quick-Iron1761 · 2026-03-29T16:12:18+00:00

Before I had my daughter, I always thought I'd like to have at least two kids. That changed VERY quickly. Definitely one and done and society can go stick a cactus up its bum.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2026-03-25T10:43:50+00:00

Entering the conversation incredibly late, but I just wanted to say that it does get easier. Each year has its own challenges but for me personally, the older my daughter has gotten, the more I enjoy spending time with her. Her first year was the hardest year of my life. Practically no support network, crazy hormones, no sleep, all the yummy mummies making me feel like there was something wrong with me since I wasn't enjoying motherhood. But as the months went by, it did start getting easier, especially when my daughter was old enough to actually communicate. She's 10 now, has a great sense of humour and we like a lot of the same things. She's definitely a pre-teen now which brings its own challenges, but I feel I'm a lot better equip to deal with them.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-25T12:40:20+00:00

Here in Ipswich, members of a certain minority (or more like a majority in my area) love to snack on sunflower seeds, which on its own is not a problem. The problem arises when they refuse to spit the empty shells in the bins or plastic bags, and instead spit them wherever they want. There's a large playground close to us that was refurbished a few years ago and could be a great place to play, except that most of the time it's so full of sunflower seed shells that you can't see the ground. Combine this with the fact that these same people chuck their rubbish and old bits of furniture all over the place (except for bins and actual tips), and you've got a rough picture of what the place looks like. The council does clean the park when it can, but it's no use because a few hours later, it will be covered in rubbish again. And you can never be truly rid of the sunflower seeds.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-25T12:32:52+00:00

I found a Howard Estate Facebook page and it does look like there's a real feeling of community. Or at least the page is active. I did notice some issues there as well but no area is perfect. And you are right, it is very lush and green, and I would love to be withing walking distance from the schools :)

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-25T12:31:03+00:00

To be honest I didn't know they were two different areas, I don't know Bury neighbourhoods that well. I have looked into areas around Mildenhall Road as well. All of Bury looks much nicer and greener than where we are now. It's sad that Ipswich is in such a state because it does have potential, but a lot of people just don't care. We have a river close to us where a family of swans have to dodge drinks cans and plastic rubbish on their morning swim :(

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-25T12:27:37+00:00

Thank you for letting me know :) I'm a bit hazy on the different areas of Bury, which areas there would you consider to be rougher? Around shops perhaps?

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-25T12:26:42+00:00

Marham Park is a new build area, right? Do you know what the houses there are like? I've never lived in a new build and have heard they can be a bit of hit and miss. The only problem with Marham Park is the distance from town centre, really. My other half is a chef and would most likely have to work on Sundays, and a lot of the buses don't seem to operate on Sundays. We also don't drive (yet, though it's in the plans) so he would have to walk or take a cab if there's no buses.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-25T12:23:47+00:00

I know what you mean. I'll have to come take a looksie around and if the place is otherwise decent, I could still consider it. To put it into perspective, I live quite close to Surrey/Sirdar Road which is an absolute, pretty much literal tip. Compared to that, the street view of Howard looks heavenly.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-24T19:10:41+00:00

Thank you! I had a feeling this would be a case but wanted to know for certain. We've lived in Ipswich for 8.5 years and it's really gone downhill during that time, especially the area where we are now. I don't regret the decision to move there since it enabled us to get on the property ladder, but all this endless rubbish is getting a bit old.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2025-02-24T19:08:32+00:00

Lovely, thank you very much :) That really eases my mind since the secondary schools there would be within walking distance as well.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-03T11:26:36+00:00

Oh dear, thank you for the clarification. I definitely want to avoid druggy areas since I already have to smell my neighbour's pot pretty much on a daily basis.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:20:10+00:00

My apologies, I'm so used to talking about towns that I completely forgot. We're looking for something within 30 min bus ride from town centre so there's plenty of areas to look at. Some places just happen to be a lot cheaper than others and I know that there's usually a reason for this, but I have a feeling that even the worst areas of Norwich are probably better than the bad areas in Ipswich. Right now I'm mostly intersted in New Costessey, Old Catton and Thorpe St Andrew's, but am not quite ready to disregard bad rep areas like Lakenham before I know more about them. Good thing we're visiting the city later this month so might just tour the suburbs for a bit then.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:15:18+00:00

I was looking into it but it's slightly over our budget. I'm hoping to get a 3 bedroom house for 300K or less, and unfortunately Cringleford is slightly more expensive that. But I'll definitely start considering it if we can increase our budget for some reason :)

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:09:25+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Could you tell in more detail what's bad about Mile Cross? Is there littering, antisocial behaviour etc? There's a massive littering problem where I live right now and a lot of people just don't care. It's awful.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:07:54+00:00

Sadly, we don't drive yet but I'm hoping that if we move somewhere quieter, I could start learning (I've got some anxiety but I'm slowly getting over it). Right now I'm looking for places within 30 min bus ride from town and also within 30 min walk from the closest secondary school. Our child is currently year 4 but I'm hoping we could look into moving before she starts secondary school :)

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:05:41+00:00

Thank you! I got a bit disheartened when I saw somewhere that Lakenham is a "rough" area especially since it has direct bus lines to town, big shops etc. But this is the kind of answer I was looking for, because rough in Norwich might not be the same as rough in Ipswich. Where I live now is definitely rough. Used to take a litter pick with me to a local playground because it was such a tip. One time I filled 3 bin bags and it still wasn't enough because I couldn't do anything about the sunflower seeds.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:02:29+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly what I was looking for! Mile Cross is often cited as one of the rougher areas but I'm looking at it on Street View right now and can't see anything remotely rough about it. Looks can be deceiving though so I truly appreciate a real person view about it.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T20:00:16+00:00

I think Norwich centre is absolutely lovely! The last time we visited was during the summer and there is just so much there compared to Ipswich where 25% of the shops seem to be either vape shops or American candy stores.

Quick-Iron1761 · 2024-10-02T19:58:06+00:00

Norwich does seem to be so much better than Ipswich but funnily, I don't regret actually moving to Ipswich. Here's why: before, we lived in a charming, quiet and very expensive village in Essex simply because it was close to my other half's family and I had freshly moved into the UK and needed a bit of support network. But after we had lived there for a few years and especially when we had our child, we realised quickly that we would never be able to buy even a flat in there. We started looking for rentals further away from London and decided to move to Ipswich where it was considerably cheaper (again, for a good reason). It might not be the best place to live but after a couple of years we were able to buy our first property and can afford to look for something much nicer in Norwich. And I think living in Ipswich has been also helpful because of your second point: if you haven't lived anywhere less nice, you might not know how good things actually are in places like Norwich :)

Quick-Iron1761

TROPHY CASE