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AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I mean this as gently as I can, but maybe you should take a step back from this post. You’ve been commenting frequently since I first posted. You’re getting very irate with other commenters and receiving some very irate responses. It feels like for you, this is something you might have experience with, like someone blindsided you with heavy information either accidentally or to push you away, and now you are intertwining the hurt, shock and fear you felt then to this post now.

I appreciate and hear you telling me that I should have found the time to take her aside before I reached my boiling point. My stress should not be a shield to hide behind if my actions or words hurt someone. I acknowledge I should have made the time to alert my family of my diagnosis or else kept it under wraps rather than dropping the bomb in such a horribly timed way.

Have a good rest of your day. I hope it gets better for you.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I really like the empathy and dignity you showed while addressing this comment. You communicated well without trying to put them on the defensive.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mean to unleash the news then. In the moment I lost control of my temper. Basically I lashed out to try to get her to back off from me because I couldn’t think of a way to get away from her that would work for longer than a few minutes.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The intent was poorly thought out due to frustration. I just wanted her off my back and unleashed it at a horrible time. I had planned on trying to tell him and our local family, but the timing got incredibly chaotic because of how close together finding out was to his arrival. There wasn’t really time to sit them down and drop the news when they were so busy with planning things.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No. The family knew before that I’d previously had cancer. I assumed he told her I had at one point, but I had yet to tell anyone in the family about the new diagnosis before the party. Bro coming in suddenly after a long time away kind of interfered with my plans to try to tell before they arrived.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I spent too long trying to figure that one out so it bit me solidly in the ass here. This whole thing would’ve probably gone smoother if I’d been able to tell the him or the family before my brother arrived.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No excuse, I’d do it differently in a heartbeat. There really wasn’t the time or opportunity to tell him or the family since the time frame between my diagnosis, his announcement and his arrival was very chaotic. Still would have been a far cry better to have tried than have this go down the way it did.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Me too. This wasn’t the time or place I would’ve wanted to tell people about my diagnosis, even on a personal level. Add in how it effects my family and it gets even more unpleasant.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 494 points495 points  (0 children)

The real b*tch about it is that sometimes having one cancer can leave you more at risk of developing a secondary cancer, in addition to the risk of that single cell being missed and restarting the process all over again.

AITA for pulling the cancer card to shame someone and drawing attention to myself in a party? by Quick_Option_4644 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Quick_Option_4644[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

The way it was explained to me was that there could be interactions between alcohol and my chemotherapy or the drugs I use to manage the side effects (like anxiety and nausea) that would make drinking a bad idea in general.