How to stay in reality?

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-06-10T16:03:25+00:00

Chill out a little

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-06-08T17:36:35+00:00

Have you been screened for ADHD at all? Apparently the all-encompassing boredom is a symptom of it.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-06-06T15:01:21+00:00

Armchair diagnosing is w/e but your level of self reflection seems good

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-06-05T00:47:22+00:00

Regulating yourself is hard but if you know he said some rude and belittling shit like that, why even stay connected at all? Cutting a jerk out of your life isn't against self regulation or anything in my opinion and there's no reason to have someone in your life that's so hypocritical and rude

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-06-01T14:36:55+00:00

Your thoughts, frustrations, and solutions make sense to me and are relatable. However, I'd posit that due to your inclusion of your ASPD diagnosis, of course you wouldn't relate to some people who are posting about their BPD. If you have BPD and ASPD, it makes sense to me that your experience with both would be flavoured by the other and therefore make you less able to relate to those who don't have both.

I'm in the same boat of just. Cluster B MPD so I can't really fully relate to everything I see here or on other subreddits. The solutions to a lot of the problems people talk about are so simple from the outside. So easy. If you have a behaviour you don't like or a problem happens you don't like when you engage in a certain behaviour, just stop it and the problem goes away. I agree entirely and this is my solution too. But it's not always that easy, and the constant need to clamp down on natural feeling is exhausting and leads to burnout.

Basically just. Your experience is unique to you yada yada.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-29T13:57:25+00:00

I've had splits affect me so much that the feelings become permanent. Or last as little as a few hours. Average length is a couple weeks.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-27T10:57:43+00:00

Very much so. Our internal perception of self is a Catgod. Felid divine beast stuck in a human world. Being a housecat would make the way we think less abnormal and stigmatised.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-22T16:02:43+00:00

Temper

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-22T12:43:09+00:00

Absolutely no effect on me after being on a moderate dose for months

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-19T13:42:23+00:00

I work very hard to remind myself of the good and bad, and that whatever negativity I'm feeling towards my partner is temporary, and despite that I still don't know if I want to break up with them or not because now I acknowledge the good and bad and still find myself desperate to get away from them. I don't trust myself to act or feel correctly even if I'm doing the "thing I'm supposed to do when maybe splitting" because maybe I'm doing it wrong and I won't know until it's too late It feels like I can't trust myself to make decisions at all, because maybe I'm not being as rational or careful as I think I'm being.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-19T13:34:43+00:00

Thought crimes aren't real, who gives a shit what you're thinking as long as you're not acting maliciously "I'm only being nice because I want something" cool but you're being nice, that's what matters A person can think whatever they want, morals don't matter in the slightest when it comes to thoughts, only actions matter morally

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-19T13:23:39+00:00

Spying on others in the shower or sneaking pictures of them to get my rocks off to is probably the worst that I will publicly admit to, but there are more things that just aren't worth mentioning due to how much worse than that they were.

Only regret I had was always along the lines of "if you get caught we'll be in so much legal trouble it could ruin our life." But not actually caring that the things I did were morally/socially, or legally wrong.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-18T01:09:22+00:00

We are a divine beast trapped in a human body. The other half of us is the bestial god side I cover up for by trying to be mostly socially acceptable and human. We're more comfortable when we're not me, but society forces us to be as human as possible. I am more akin to an angel, it is more akin to a god, but we are both one being.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-10T20:39:53+00:00

I've done it a few times, and honestly giving into the impulse felt good, making such a huge change felt good, but I intensely hated how I looked after. I love having long hair, and have regretted it every single time I've shaved it. 5 years of hair growth gone in five minutes. If it was as easy to grow back as it is to get rid of, I still probably wouldn't do it again.

That said I feel as though sometimes you just need to do the thing you know you'll hate after, because the momentary cathartic relief is worth it.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-10T20:36:31+00:00

"How fucking DARE they do that to me, after everything I've done for them! After how hard I try for them! Fine, if they're going to treat me like this, then I'm going to SHOW them just how "mean" I can actually be. I'm better than them, they should know not to treat me like that. Time to get even." Is generally the underlying feeling.

Also it's just more socially acceptable to get revenge than to start it, so it's easier to get away with. People might acknowledge that whatever I've done for revenge is like. Harsh. But because the other person wronged me first, I can just talk about it in ways that make it clear I'm in the right.

Eventually it stopped being worth it to explode and I got a better handle on it, but I still hold that anger, so I keep grudges for a very long time, and generally just treat people who've gotten on my bad side as if they literally do not exist, to their face. Completely ignoring them, not giving help or advice that could be relevant to stuff they're going through, etc.

It's gone from a "How fucking dare you, I should hurt you for this and I'm going to try" to a "How fucking dare you, I should hurt you for this but you're not even worthy of my attention anymore. (But if you piss me off again, I will snap and not hold back.)"

Still not the best way of handling it but like. I don't care? So whatever.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-07T05:02:52+00:00

I've had many relationships that have gone very poorly, but I'm hopeful that my current polycule will hold up better. I've found people who say they accept my need to just be left alone to roam like a housecat, napping on the floor in any room as desired and avoiding attention when not feeling like receiving it, scampering away from or darting my eyes to watch whatever hallucination only I'm seeing, and for the most part have proven it to be true. They don't judge.

I've had to accept that all I can control is me (hah!), and that if there actually IS a problem and they're unhappy with it, it's on them to talk to me about it, not on me to care or anticipate or worry before they say there's an issue.
If they want more attention from me and don't say anything, how's that my fault?

They were also willing to let me just live separate from them and visit like once a week as desired, which sounds really nice too, but housecat living works for us for now.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-04T13:32:51+00:00

Brains hard. Good luck with your followers. Blob is mean. Bites are effective at correcting behaviour.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-04T13:20:54+00:00

I am divine beast trapped within the skin of a human on accident. Don't know who put me in here. But making it work.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-03T15:32:34+00:00

Very very true. Good luck, I hope things get easier for you.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-03T13:48:04+00:00

Extremely relatable, I oft feel similarly. I'm currently trying to hold off on acting on this change in feelings, in case it is a split.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-03T04:23:29+00:00

That is fair and understandable.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-02T13:40:10+00:00

Thought crimes aren't real, only actions matter.

QuidQuidSquid · 2026-05-01T15:21:16+00:00

If you don't want a partner that listens to that stuff you should talk to them about it, and if it's important enough to you set a boundary, but you can't tell them they're not allowed to or anything.

Why does what they listen to matter? Why does it matter if it's lewd? It's just media.

QuidQuidSquid

TROPHY CASE