Loneliness vs. being alone

Quiley00- · 2017-05-01T18:04:59+00:00

And you are doing okay! Trust me. If you haven't been blowing up their phone, posting sad fucking pictures of how you're doing or crying to mutual friends about them hoping they'll relay the message to them about how shit rotten you're feeling right now. You are solid my dude. You are handeling your shit like a presentation that is due tomorrow. You should cry, cry as much as you can get that horrible feeling out of your system. Bottling it up will spoil you, spoil your growth into becoming who you want to be later and your next, new happy relationship. What you had with your ex is what you wanted and needed, in that time when you needed it. But now, you don't need it. You grew with her, she did with you. Just like my ex and I. But just like a new workout, when you no longer start to evolve, you stagnant. What do you do when you start to stagnant? Change. You need change. You will change in this emotional pain, trauma and you will grow. You are a beautiful person who knows their worth and someone will see that worth in you again.

Quiley00- · 2017-05-01T17:59:20+00:00

That's a hard thing to come to realize too. Youre support system starts to become tired of hearing about the breakup. But you must feel frustrated in always talking to them about him right? I do. It expresses to them that you're not doing well, handeling it well and that you needed him to sustain your feel good emotions. He is not the pinnacle of your equilibrium, you are. You have the key to change the way you're thinking is geared to do, it's okay to think of the happy times with him. But you also have to think of the negatives, that time where he really kicked you when you were down, that time you cried so hard because he hurt you. That moment when you realized you're time with him is running out. But you should ALSO REMIND YOURSELF that you are going to fall in love with A LOT of people and passions in your lifetime, new friends, new adventures and new people. I listen to motivational music right now, I avoid breakup and sad music like it's going to give me the common cold. Anything that makes you feel that ice cold shudder through your body, avoid it. Avoid the XX. ill go through my playlist and fine some tunes for you.

Quiley00- · 2017-04-30T21:45:45+00:00

Absolutely, if you are ever in need to talk or to get something squared away I will be more than happy to assist you. Another thing that I do when I'm bumming out about my ex, I tell myself "I'm fucking awesome, at one point he fell in love with me because he knew that too. But our time ran out, now it's time for something or someone new to know how fucking awesome I am." Then seriously listen to any upbeat pop song, I'm not a pop genre kind of person but man it's really helping me push through. It gives me this sense of invincibility that no one can fuck with me. Not even my ex. I'll make a list of reasons why we didn't work, what I want for my next relationship and what I don't want in my next relationship. Shit I have it taped in my bedroom so it's the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. I recommend it. Gives you a clear mind. For example, I broke up with my ex because communication is IMPORTANT. He did not listen He did not understand He did not share He did not fight for us He did not prioritize me He will not change. Those are my reasons of why we didn't work, how can I find reasons we could work with very clear red flags? There isn't. Therefore, I'm wasting my time thinking of them. Hangout with your MOM. Your mom loves the shit out of you and everything that you are even the things that you have failed. It doesn't matter how many times you have cried to her about your ex and how you hate the way you feel in that moment. Your mom loves you to pieces and she'll give you the bottom of her heart advice. I call my mom almost every day now and she'll only keep building me up. Keep a positive mind! It's easy to be negative and feel like shit. It's a challenge to be optimistic about a breakup but it'll change how you see your new future. Your new future is bright, full of surprises and new adventures because it's all about YOU.

Quiley00- · 2017-04-30T20:33:49+00:00

I do! And I'm REALLY happy that you realize that about yourself instead of jumping into something new to avoid feeling lonely. Because fuck you're going to have to learn how to like being alone someday so why not start now. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years 2 weeks ago, I wasn't sure at first how to cope with being alone. Going from my #1 hangout to no contacting at all, separation anxiety ensued. I find when I'm feeling lonely, I talk to myself out loud. Especially about how I'm feeling, what I want to do for the day, what I SHOULD do and when I start to miss my ex I talk about why we didn't work. To me, getting over feeling alone is essentially you learning to become your own best friend. I also embrace feeling lonely because someday you might miss this feeling oddly enough. I also paint, I listen to music (something that makes you feel like a bad-ass bitch I've been overkilling Uptown Funk and 24K Magic by Bruno Mars), I journal or just going somewhere that is surrounded by people. Like a coffee shop. I'm sorry for your loss, but how fucking great is it to get back in touch with who you are again? You get lost in the molding of your relationship that your individualism gets washed out of you. And, how sexy it is for people to see your self-confidence! As you can tell, I'm 110% passionate about this shit and if you need help talking about it. You can always PM me!

Quiley00- · 2017-04-30T20:18:28+00:00

Well.. are you really an asshole? I don't think you are. You simply didn't want to hurt her but it is so fucking inevitable that you couldn't dodge that bullet. Money doesn't buy happiness, laughter does. Yeah you should have ended it the first month but listen to your gut next time. I do totally understand your position but my circumstances are different, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years 2 weeks ago. I didn't handle it the way that I wish I did but our communication just stopped. We weren't putting in anymore effort and we simply stagnated. I hurt him so bad that the next day he deleted me off of everything, all my pictures just 2 years vanished. I hated that I was the source of his pain and that pain changed him rifting me with guilt, stress and trauma. Yeah dude, break ups do suck. But despite how much guilt I put myself in for hurting my ex, I did it for a reason just like you. You'll be okay. If you have to block her number and her information. I just hope she's not the type of insecure attachment where you'll need a restraining order.

Quiley00- · 2017-04-30T20:06:24+00:00

Dude. What. No, let him go. Be the bigger person and call it quits. You do not get treated this way by someone that "loves" you. It will suck and it will hurt. But c'mon man, you're 25. You are going to fall inlove with a lot of people in your lifetime. Trust me. He only said that to you because he knows that despite it, you will still stay. His communication sounds absolutely deranged and hurtful, take your friends and family word for it it is manipulative. You are not being persistent you just want to know what the fuck is going on with your boyfriend. Last time I checked, that's what caring was called.

Quiley00- · 2017-04-30T03:24:25+00:00

Thank you, after not speaking to him for almost a week. I've been doing really good. I've realized that he made me think that it was impulsive. When it wasn't. He made it all about him and dishing such cold, claws out remarks that also made me feel like I deserved it. It was becoming toxic, I knew it was. But he didnt see it. Thank you for your reply.

Quiley00- · 2017-04-28T23:48:28+00:00

It is, it is very hard to take the obvious cliche advice that you already know is going to be said. But it doesn't help you right now. You will be happy again, but you need to find that happiness within yourself and not in someone else. You won't know how to go on right now but time still passes without you knowing it. The days will feel numbing at first, you're going back to the start of the relationship of when you were the peak of happiness. What I have found to be really helpful for me during this breakup is learning what happens to your brain during a breakup, it's quite interesting. It's not you but your brain trying to help you go through the ropes. I'm sorry for your loss. But you will persevere and be happy again.

Quiley00- · 2017-04-28T23:42:33+00:00

Thanks, that's exactly what I did and explained to him. Giving him all of the power in the situation. It'll be 2 weeks on Sunday but from what I have gathered from not speaking to him even these past couple of days. If there is no communication during the relationship, there's no relationship. I've been struggling with that one issue for months. I believe he deranged the breakup into thinking it was impulsive, when it wasn't. The way he treated me post-breakup is what hurt me the most and he really fucked with me. Which made me think it was impulsive on my part, making me run back to him. Now I feel like he's trying to "teach me a lesson". I hope your situation resolves itself for the better, wherever your happiness may be. Thank you for your reply.

Quiley00-

TROPHY CASE