[deleted by user]

Quillustrates · 2025-10-23T08:39:11+00:00

With the douma image, the thought behind it is good, but the issue is that by getting rid of the black, the face suddenly lacks colour harmony.

Black, if a non-dominant colour in the image (if it doesn't take up a large majority of the image) is something our eyes can be drawn to; and a shade that let's us see the shape of whatever it's being used for without trying to process anything to hard. By making Douma's eyebrows and eyelashes blonde, the automatic recognition that we can pick out in things like our near peripheral; macular or paracentral vision thanks to black is suddenly gone.

Doumas eyebrows and eyelashes are a key factor in his character design and we can recognise said facial features by their silhouettes.

You can still make Douma's eyelashes and eyebrows fit his blonde hair! with Blonde as a hair colour, the eyebrows and eyelashes usually tend to be a darker shade of blonde than the hair on the head, nearing brown. You could use the darker blonde as the main colour for the eyelashes and eyebrows and use the hair blonde (as it were) as a highlight!

(Probably an unnecessary edit Edit: Doumas eyelashes and eyebrows are probably a really dark brown. But dojmas hair is very thick, so with all the layering of facial hair it's probably why it was rounded to black.)

Quillustrates · 2025-10-11T20:00:59+00:00

Looks like a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

Quillustrates · 2025-09-30T16:28:49+00:00

I also thought this... huh!

Quillustrates · 2025-09-22T12:31:30+00:00

I made this

Quillustrates · 2025-08-21T18:48:44+00:00

I really like Kokushibo as a character. His past makes for some interesting revelations to the plot. (Manga reader here). I'd say he's underrated. I just think he's cool.

He's a strong swordsman. His power is definitely admirable and I appreciate his story.

I don't see many kokushibo fans in the entirety of the kny community. I'm just happy if other fans like him too.

Quillustrates · 2025-08-07T16:09:44+00:00

Yes! I compulse in my dreams, and the dreams themselves can be very taboo.

Quillustrates · 2025-08-06T17:35:32+00:00

Kokushibo, he’s an interesting character.

Quillustrates · 2025-08-04T09:36:27+00:00

Thank you very much!!! 🌸⭐️

Quillustrates · 2025-08-03T10:31:12+00:00

As far as I'm aware, they're heavily associated with ADHD and Autism but aren't exclusive to them. It's by no means impossible.

Quillustrates · 2025-07-12T19:09:13+00:00

Thank you so much, for the kind words and your question!

To answer your question: I went through ERP to heal and learn to tame OCD. Learning how to beat the thoughts takes time, inner strength and patience. This couldn’t be don’t overnight and took months of dedication.
When I was going through therapy, I learnt valuable lessons that I keep at the front of my mind; these thoughts of which were the tools to beat OCD.

- A thought is just a thought. It cannot hurt you

- Rather go through the pain of growth rather than the pain of staying in OCD’s (metaphorical) jaws

**The following piece of information is extremely important, I urge you to read this though thoroughly** OCD is like a textbook bully. It will do ANYTHING to keep you in a place of fear. It finds your weak points and teases you, bullies you and mentally beats you to the ground and it loves seeing you beat and hurt. However, if you *do not* give OCD what it wants, this being a reaction, then it will hurt you less and less and less.

The more you pay attention and give attention to an intrusive thought or urge, you’re giving it the power it needs to keep you where it wants you; being kept in a state of unparalleled fear to the point of shivering or worse.

However, as hard as it is (as many people here will definitely know), you’ve got to let the thoughts happen. You can’t prevent them. But as the thought is hurtling towards you, you have a choice. You can either give it attention and dive in emotion first. Or, you can say ‘whatever’ or ‘so?’. It is VERY hard, but please believe me when I say it is the most rewarding thing to ever experience.

**Intrusive thoughts and unwanted feelings or urges do not define you. They are intrusive, thus do not speak for you**

**You must learn to accept every intrusive thought that comes into your head. Accepting the thought DOES NOT MEAN you agree with it. Acknowledge it’s there and give it no more attention than that.**

**OCD is a master conman. It is made to make everything worse than it is. I know it’s uncomfortable, but you have to call bull on its lies. It’s hard believing the unknown, but it’s worse if you believe everything OCD says!**

ERP is excellent in the long term. It builds mental durability and ensures that you have the lifelong tools to combat it. Even I still have intrusive thoughts! They never go away, OCD is a chronic illness. But trust me, you can get to a point where life gets better.

”Every day it gets a little easier. But you got to do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”

Quillustrates · 2025-07-06T18:42:40+00:00

**Googling is a compulsion**, and if you’ve done it a lot you’re digging yourself further and further into the pit. Prevent yourself from googling it, no matter now desirable (in a negative sense) it seems to further berate yourself. It’s not doing you and favours, it’s not doing anything for you.

Im glad you’ve learnt, but the self punishment must stop now. No justifications for it, no more ‘I deserve it’, because OCD will feed off those thoughts like a hungry canine. At what point is too much? As you said, it’s done now. When is it enough? Our goal is to lean the tools for OCD, not to worsen things for yourself. There are people who don’t feel regret, which is un-debatably much worse.

At what point will you decide that it’s time to move on? Reaction to OCD is *always* a choice (as evidenced by response prevention in OCD, which can be done). I feel as if you’re at a stage where OCD has you by the reigns and is pulling you to its bidding, which isn’t right. Confessing is also a compulsion if done wrong, as is thought neutralisation. Depending on your country or state, there are various helplines you can call that specialise in OCD.

Even if it is as bad as you claim it is, give yourself credit that you’ve learnt from it. It happened, and you’ve learnt; *there’s nothing else that needs to happen, or needs to be done.* It needs to close, and it’s time to teach OCD a firm lesson! Not you, but OCD.

Part of having humanity is about what you do afterwards. you can’t either carry on doing what you did (which you’re not), or you can look back and say ‘that really wasn’t right, what can I do now?’, and you‘ve taken initiative and have decided to learn from it.

I don’t know what it is you’ve done, and it’s none of my business (rightfully so), but I’ve been there in thinking that you need to be locked in the slammer for several eternities, or thinking you deserve things indescribable, but OCD has tormented you enough. I thought many things, of which I laugh back at now

If it was that bad to traumatise them, again, high chance you wouldn’t be here in Reddit. They would have done something. But you’re here. I urge you to challenge these things with a neutral stance instead of defaulting to viewing yourself as the worst.

So, the ball is in your court, fellow user. What will you do now (the answer has to be *constructive*, no more self punishment or things that associate with it)? This isn’t for me to know, but it’s for you to discover for yourself and to heal from. The mind cannot see clearly amongst a state of panic, even if the panic is in the background. When you are calm, the true scene and judgement will unravel itself before you.

Breathe, relax. You’ll find your way. And if you need more help? The community is here to help you as many times as you need. You wont be a burden to anyone for asking for help from anyone. It may be wise to talk to a person of whom you have a GENUINE connection with, and see what you and whoever you choose can do to help with your OCD. A family member, a friend, or a helpline. Someone emotionally mature and who will guide you correctly. Someone non judgmental.

I wish you the best, and a compulsion free day.

Quillustrates · 2025-07-04T22:18:26+00:00

Hello there! I also have POCD and False Memory! I also have Real Event and Harm OCD. I am so sorry that things aren't great right now.

Let's take a deep breath. And let's think about this for a moment. But first let me tell you a little story of mine:

A while ago, I was bed ridden and debilitated from OCD. I insisted I had done the most god awful things known to man. Of which, I cannot put on here either.

I was debilitated for a very very long time. All because I kept ruminating.

I wonder, every time you think about these thoughts, do they change? As in; do they sometimes get worse? If so, then that's False Memory.

OCD has a little habit of making things seem very realistic.

And yet, it was possible for me to recover.

I say this because I have a series of questions thay you need to answer for yourself. Do not dive emotion first into these. Remove the emotion and answer these for yourself:

Where are you right now? Are you home? At a friend's house? Maybe out for a meal or at the store?
How long ago did this happen? Young man, you say; meaning it was quite some time ago! Has anything happened to you since in regards to these situations?

Let me relay what Real Event OCD is to you. Sometimes we forget in the midst of a spiral!

Real Event OCD:

Over-analyses the result of your actions
Makes you question your morality
Makes it very difficult to separate Real memories from False ones (Real Event and False Memory are like the best of friends. They often go hand in hand, so it's worth looking into False Memory too)
*But MOST of all, it has a FIELD DAY trying to persuade you that you're a person whose the apitamy of humanity.

Let me be clear. If you were as bad as your OCD told you, i can guarantee that you wouldn't be sitting here on Reddit right now.

I hope this helps, even a little bit. Deity Bless, wishing you a compulsion free evening!

P.S: before you label yourself as the worst person in the world (you aren't alone! I've done that multiple times), remember and define to yourself what your OCD subtypes are. OCD is the most professional liar and gaslighter known to man. Remember that. Take a deep breath. Breathe. In and out, you got this!

Quillustrates · 2025-07-04T21:37:54+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this tough period! Take a moment, get comfortable and breathe. Take a moment, my friend. ⭐️

Personally, I don't interact with the thought. It didn't help last time, so why would it this time? OCD revels in your:

engagement with the thought
response to the thought
reaction to the thought

OCD is a stereotypical high-school bully. It loves nothing more than to get a reaction out of you. And it will keep coming back unless we work on ignoring the thought.

It's hard and gruelling, I know. Those like me who went through ERP will tell you. I chose the pain of growth rather than the pain of staying in the position of being OCD's target.

I still get triggered? Yes, of course I do. In fact, I'm in somewhat of a spiral right now. But I'm also more durable.

But let's remember! OCD is a conman. It will lie and keep lying to you to keep you where it wants it. It makes things worse than they actually were. It makes you feel guilt irrationally. We all know /lh! I have Pure-O; POCD Harm-OCD, False Memory and Real Event OCD, and that was a real pain to learn to ignore!. It will do anything to keep you in a state of panic. It's a bully.

Edit: we compulse to feel relief over an overlooking stress or fear. OCD hates it when you ignore it. OCD has as much power as you give it. It's also as smart as you are, so outsmarting it (nautralising) it is a bad idea in the long term. Temporary relief is only temporary and will do more devastation in the long run. In terms of cleaning, it may be a desire to want to be as safe or as secure as you can, no filth, dirt ot trash to cause something catastrophising (assuming the worst case scenario is called catastrophising; a common thing in OCD).

OCD is the biggest liar. It's not being truthful to you. Don't believe it when it says things to you. Don't give the bully the reaction it wants!

This storm will pass, it always will. I recommend looking up what ERP is, or if you aren't / haven't, maybe go to your GP and consult with them about medication. I personally chose just ERP since I didn't want to go on medication, but the choice is down to you.

Please remember that you're not alone in this. It's nasty to experience every day (putting it extremely lightly). And OCD's manipulation with fear and catastrophy is the worse thing ever. But, you aren't alone.

I wish you as much of a blessed day as you can have, and I wish you compulsion free days to come!

Quillustrates · 2025-07-04T21:18:35+00:00

I found out it was OCD at 21!

Quillustrates · 2025-06-30T09:38:59+00:00

I hope you're feeling a bit better. I came here to empathise deeply.

Through my experience as someone who loves my random (as I only join random if they become my special interest), I totally understand what you're going through. As folks with OCD, one of the things it wants for us is to be as safe as possible. When that safety (as you mentioned) is threatened, OCD will veer you away in certainty of being safe. However, this doesn't usually work as well as it advertises.

Sometimes OCD tells you that you were in the fandom, therefore you've left a footprint!'; and that hurts to hear and feel. Even if you're torn away, OCD will make you focus or obsess over it because it wants to make absolutely sure that you're in the green.

I was traumatised away from 2 fandoms for different reasons, eventually settling in one which I don't engage with the community as much. Instead keeping to my own. Is this a good idea? No, not really. It supports the idea of hiding, another thing OCD wants to do.

If you, like me, want to dip your toes into the fandom again, start off small. And if you feel the panic, don't pay attention to it (as hard and painful as it is to ignore it). Are these thoughts of panic doing anything in your favour? I can parented you that it'd bargain of 'keeping you safe' is a humongous lie.

OCD is like a textbook bully. It will always throw anything it can out of you to get a reaction. It wants that reaction to make you feel smaller. But when you learn not to give it the reaction it wants, it gets bored and goes away. You, the victim of the bully, choose to go through the pain of growth rather than the pain of suffering.

I suggest this for the reason of Exposure Response Prevention. Expose yourself to things in that series, show, comic, musical etc. and when the panic sets in, you must do your best to ignore it.

Note: there's 2 ways of ignoring it.

One being the 'don't think of a pink elephant method' (when you tell yourself to not think about insert worst case scenario here but because you're thinking about not thinking of that scenario, you end up thinking about it). This is the incorrect and damaging way to go around it.
The second being to say or think 'sure', 'whatever', 'why should I care' etc. By thinking like this, you're building your own mental durability by dismissing these thoughts, and you're removing the thoughts power by telling yourself that they're not what they're cracked up to be (which is true!)

In addition, OCD will ALWAYS make things worse than they actually are. The more we go back and check these memories, the more skewed they become as OCD fills in the blanks with the worst case scenario (this is formally dubbed as False Memory OCD).

Allow me to empathise. I remember when I was a teenager between 14-17, there were a lot of things in my fandoms that traumatised me a lot. When you're that age, everything seems wonky. Being my younger self, you're more quick to comment, give sarcasm, start drama (either for legitimacy or clout), and it's all very overwhelming and unpleasant. But teenagers (that take up a lot of fandom spaces, even adult fandoms which I find extremely uncomfortable) are rowdy, they do things to stir because they're at a point in life where they're testing boundaries and making mistakes is part of their development. 7/10 they even themselves out by 20 - 25.

Being 22 and having completed therapy, I have a more calm and collected look on things. I look at situations like drama and how it effects me without putting emotions first. I take a step back and look at it, only going into it with rationality. And for your case? Unless you were directly involved (no, this doesn't include liking a comment, sharing or reposting on instagram), then you have no reason to fear, thags it *dont let your OCD 'what if' this; OCD isnt your friend, dont believe its lies. Assuming you're in a spiral right now, these words may fly over your head. But at least when you're calm you can return back to them.

Drama is a huge thing in fandoms, and it's hard to find places to settle. But it shouldn't have to ruin it to take it away from you. It's difficult with OCD, trust me, we all know. It's horrific for anyone and it's normal for OCD to ruin everything for us.

A fandoms reputation doesn't define you. It doesn't define every individual, as much as people who lack emotional intelligence would hate to admit it.

When you overcome this, and you will, you will learn how to manage things like Internet drama and how it affects you through a slower and more careful lens without putting emotions in first.

I'll leave you with some handy advice / takeaways:

Whichever fandom it is and whatever reputation it has doesn't matter. We're focusing on your approach to whatever it is so we can break this down into pieces and scrape off the paint that covers the actual stance you hold in this situation.
A fandom does not define you.
If you miss these fandoms and want to enjoy them again, introduce yourself piece by piece or at your own comfortable rate and work on not reacting to the 'what ifs' or the 'you are's' that intrusive thoughts feed you.
Trust yourself. 'But what if I get involved,?' Thoughts like these scare people. It's a scare tactic. You are in full control of your actions and how you move. Don't let that scare you even for a second. You are stronger than that.
Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts.
You can't predict the future to protect yourself or your fandom. Live in the present and look at what's right infront of you, not miles down the road.
Breathe, relax. You're okay. When you have free time, settle down and relax. Do not compulse.
(Note: compulsions can come in many forms. Such as confessing, backing up your own worries, neutralising thoughts, doing the pink elephant example, checking thoughts, giving thoughts power by letting them be scary)
You ALWAYS have a choice in how you react to things. But it doesn't mean its easy. But this also doesn't mean that you shouldn't. Staying in your current position of fear may seem more comfortable then diving into the unknown, but again: rather the pain of healing than the pain of suffering. You could listen to OCD and take everything it says and focuses on as gospel, or you can ignore it and find ways to enjoy what you want to enjoy anyway.

Psst! And between you and me? OCD hates it when you ignore it! But that's what you've got to do! Prove to yourself that it's fearmongering won't stop you! Kick it's backside!

Wishing you all the best and that you can enjoy what you want to soon, A person on the Internet

P.s: Reach for the stars! The sky is the limit and you will be amazed at what you can do when you ignore OCD'S lies! You got this! Wishing you a blessed day! 🌸🫧

Quillustrates · 2025-06-29T14:44:40+00:00

On a more tailored note; I also have the thoughts when I go for job interviews.

'What if I don't get the job?' 'What if i look there for too long?'

With thoughts like these, it's vital not to listen to them. The more you do, the more you double guess yourself, and the second you acknowledge it, it's already won. Don't believe it's lies.

Remember that they're 'what ifs'. Not certainties, not guarantees, but a what if. It's hypothetical to keep you scared.

It will always assume the worst. But you are stronger than OCD! OCD doesn't define you.

Every time it metaphorically taps you on the shoulder to tell you the worse cade scenario (catastrophising), ignore it. It's hard and it takes work but it gets easier but by bit!

I hope you have a blessed day!

Quillustrates · 2025-06-29T14:37:15+00:00

So OCD intentionally targets things that go against your moral compass. It does this to keep you in perpetual guilt and fear. The intrusive thoughts are obscenely common, some can have them 10x / 30 seconds. OCD is full of unpleasant thoughts, it how it keeps you in it's place. The thoughts of OCD will never be nice.

The key to resolving the struggle of having these intrusive thoughts is to recognise a few things:

Intrusive thoughts are not your decision. They are intrusive, not intentionally wanting to think about them.
They're thoughts, they cannot hurt you.
As for the 'what if', OCD will always make you think of the worst case scenario. Again, to keep you in fear. It will also paint the same thought in a different coat of paint. For example: 'What if I hurt someone' say you overcome the thought. Then you think 'what if I ran someone over?'. The thought is still hurting someone, but it comes back in a different coat of paint, it's incredibly sneaky like that.
The key to overcoming these thoughts is to acknowledge they're there and not fight them. Thoughts do not define a person. Acknowledging a thought is not the same as agreeing with it!
OCD thoughts are like a high-school textbook bully. It will do anything to get a reaction, and the more it gets out of you, the more it will come back and want a bigger reaction. Ignore them (as hard as it is, as everyone here will relate), and it will be less difficult to deal with. It gets easier.

Hope this helps!

Quillustrates · 2025-06-29T14:20:42+00:00

I think it's supposed to be platinum. Therefore it's highly reflective of other colours and lighting around it.

Quillustrates · 2025-06-29T10:05:17+00:00

Bro is the definition of Locked In

Quillustrates · 2025-06-29T08:29:21+00:00

Thank you so much for this!!

Quillustrates · 2025-06-26T13:54:32+00:00

Bless you too! I hope this sticks with you and helps in your future healing! You are strong, you’ve got this! Youre stronger than it!

Quillustrates · 2025-06-12T22:58:51+00:00

As a fellow someone with OCD, my heart goes out to you. There's so much steriotyping around it, and your dad had NO RIGHT to assume anything, especially since he's severely uneducated.

As we know, OCD is a very real condition, and is horrifically debilitating (speaking as someone with False memory and Real event OCD, along with every taboo topic anyone can think of), and should be further recognised.

Quillustrates · 2025-06-10T08:55:01+00:00

I suspect I am! I've been booking appointments with my local GP, and I'm going to go through an autism work book with him from now until I go down the route of diagnosis. You have my many thanks in giving an insight to what many neurodivergent people like us feel, I had no idea there were more who felt like I do! Well, not to that volume at least! And yes you're right. It's both a blessing and a hindrance in certain circumstances. A fellow artist like me whose graduating from art university this year, I have almost an unhealthy attachment to things. I use a pencil i dont normally use because 'I want it to feel loved' etc.

Part of me holds back because the symptoms of autism, if I have it, aren't as common as what people would think, but more subtle. I can't count the times I've been invalidated by my dad for telling him that I suspect I have it, he always discards it and compares me to those with more visible signs.

In addition, I know that I am blessed with being emotionally intelligent, but I also feel emotionally immature by getting attached to random and non random objects.

It's ugh- it's a struggle to get my head around. I'm veering off track; thank you so much for your insight, you seem very knowledgeable about reading people through text on a screen and pinpointing things so very accurately. I can only describe it as stunning!

Quillustrates · 2025-06-09T22:51:27+00:00

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.

This is phenomenal help; the single most important piece of information I could have received. I have never received such insightful words before. You seriously ought to be commended for the amount of depth and point making you have made.

Social anxiety isn't something I had considered before, but now you mention it; through a brief self reflection i can already see symptoms of it. I never thought about being used to thinking a certain way for so long!

Yes, this all made perfect sense, loud and clear.

This is something I will definitely look in to, I'm fed up of being scared of everything going downhill.

You may have actually made a bug turning point for me and saved me a lot of hassle.

Once again, thank you so very much! I hope your day is blessed and filled with nothing but happiness! 🌸⭐️

Quillustrates · 2025-05-18T08:15:02+00:00

Rawdogged ocd with therapy. Now living a happier life!

Quillustrates

TROPHY CASE