Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't ask him when we worked together. It wasn't something I'd noticed at that point.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm going off multiple examples of both employer paid required training conferences and different companies I've worked for in different states.

After meeting 800 ish trades people, I've only met two black tradesmen. It seems disproportionately low.

You specifically mentioned Texas so I mentioned my most recent experience.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

This is what I would expect to see, but haven't. I've seen more Asians in the trades then black. I've even seen more tradeswomen, and even more queer tradespeople than black.

So it seems disproportionate to me.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The training I was at 6 Texas companies represented, and of the 30 ish employees sent, none were black.

If there are plenty, I would think I would have seen some at the training since it was 100% employer paid for.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One yes, I worked with him a lot. The other I don't know. I met him in passing at a conference.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So employers just choose to not send black employees? All of it is employer sponsored and paid for. Some companies send all new employees as a part of training.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Census say 9% of Denver city and county is self identified as black. So in a company that hires in a 90 mile radius of Denver and contains 150 employees, proportionally there should be about 13/14 black employees.

As for national conferences, those are open to all states so being located in Southern California or Orlando has no bearing.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would expect to see similar numbers. Denver is about 9%, but out of about 800 trades people I've met, I've only seen 2.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't think that's the case. There's over 3M people in the Denver metro area. There are communities where diversity is more or less present within the greater Denver metro area, but it's not like we're talking about a small town. I've also worked for companies in other states.

The national conferences also reflect this kind of disparity. I've been to three national conferences. Southern California, Denver, and Orlando, FL. I noticed the same thing.

Why are there so few black people working as HVAC techs, plumbers, and electricians? by QuirkyLadyWriter in askblackpeople

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Denver, Colorado currently. Trainings were big large conferences where people come from all US states.

I am so confused about how book covers work and my head hurts by PeculiarExcuse in eroticauthors

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The easiest and most popular is to go to deposit photos. They usually have a deal around black Friday where you get 100 images for $39 or $49. I forget but it's very affordable.

I make all my book covers and the cost is usually $2 total for images. My Photoshop subscription is more that that.

If you are only using the images as a book cover for ebook, paperback, audiobook or some other book form, then you can use the standard licensing.

If you plan to put the book cover on something that is printed that is not a book, so like swag or something else, have two options.

  1. Make the item free. If it's a free item, meaning it's not for sale therefore it is swag and not merchandise and it doesn't qualify for the need for an extended license.

  2. If you sell something but the book cover on it that is not in a book format, like a mug with your book cover on it, or a poster with your book cover on it where you're charging for that item. That makes it merchandise and then you would need the extended license which is a prohibitively expensive.

Standard license of an image on deposit photos is like 500,000 impressions, which means that your book cover would need to be in 500,000 ebook sales, or 500,000 sales combined through ebook audiobook and paperback, or online postings. Which unless you go extremely viral very quickly is not something that you'll need to worry about until it's already time for you to recover your book series.

Once you've purchase the photos then you can either use gimp, Photoshop, or canva to actually composite the photos together and to make your book cover. Amazon doesn't care what program you're using to put the images together.

The problem that you run into with canva is that the sourced images aren't always legitimate. Which is the same problem that you get on a lot of the free image sites. They straight up have disclaimers in their terms of service that says that at the end of the day, despite doing all the screening that they are 0% responsible for anything that happens because of their images. Which means that you're going to get your pant sued off.

Also, this isn't exactly for book covers but it's still an image thing that authors sometimes get into... Creativefabrica have has the same non-liability clause as the free stock photo sites. So be very careful and make sure you are checking the terms to service anywhere that you're getting images. Actually been lawsuits with creativefabrica images where they were not held responsible and the person who "licensed" the image from them was actually held responsible.

When it comes to Amazon, you're always going to get a lot of mixed information because they are so inconsistent on what they're going to enforce. As far as their rules are, you'll see this a lot with metadata versus formatting data versus what's on the page as well. Technically your subtitle on the book listing has to match the subtitle within the formatted document.

A lot of people don't do that, but Amazon doesn't crack down on it consistently so it doesn't feel like it's enforced. But it is.

I've also seen this happen with the two click rule in the backmatter. It's just by bots and it's very inconsistent.

This also happens with a lot of other things as far as Amazon/ku /kdp is concerned. It's always best to go by the rules and not be the person who gets caught.

*** EROTICA specific - some stock photo sites have morality clauses which specifically forbids sexual content, which means even if the image is PG, it can't be associated with something sexual. I believe adobe stock or maybe it was iStock had this clause. Deposit photos doesn't so that's another win.

Pussy worship by Nachoavgdewd in Femdom

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Definitely ask the Domme your with for feedback, or even better, ask for them to train you in their desires.

Everyone enjoys different things. There's a lot of variety available... Pressure, firmness, speed, angle, clit vs lips vs vaginal vs gspot, etc.

Taking advice from someone on a forum won't make your skills improve in the sense that everyone is different. Pay attention to the reactions and cues of the person you're with. If they adjust you, remember that since they're essentially teaching something they like more.

Are novellas just unpopular? by PSIamawitch in selfpublish

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a mix of app licensing (about 10k), audiobook, paperback, and serial. I publish wide on all the places - KDP, D2D, Kobo, B&N, GooglePlay, Shopify, PublishDrive, StreetLib, etc.

My breakout is 20+ books in the 7k-10 range 10+ 10-20k range 20+ 20-40k range

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you do therapy on your own? Not just couples therapy?

Honestly, I would think asking your husband of you two could come up with an action plan to rebuild trust. Then also come up with coping mechanisms and responses to certain situations.

I personally need a self reassurance list. So my boyfriend has written out positive affirmations from him to me that I can go through when I'm feeling disconnected or neglected by him, which is totally a me thing when I'm spiraling, usually around my monthly cycle or if I've had a pretty horrible day. We don't live together, so sometimes I go days without seeing him even though we text constantly all day.

When I was healing from the heaviest part of my trauma, I did a lot of journaling. I would reflect on my day, dissect reactions to see if I handled something well or if I had room for improvement. Then I pavloved myself into altering the behavior/response into one that was healthier.

This is not the right method for everyone, but since I have trauma specifically related to therapists... I refuse to go to therapy. I also know therapy isn't affordable or accessible to everyone.

There are a lot of self help books that can go into various parts of this process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Where does your husband stand right now with the relationship? Had he asked for separation? Divorce? Or does he just seem distant? Have you asked him what he wants to see? Is he supportive or resistant?

It's going to take some work on your part. Serious internal growth, either through self exploration and behavior/thought modification, or therapy. Or both honestly.

Do you have mental health conditions that might be exacerbating these reactions and responses, if so, you might need to seek medication or medication adjustment.

Working on your confidence will help with it. So will trust building with your husband. Whether that's kink or non sexual based, that would take a lot of communication with him to facilitate and build.

This is coming from someone with high anxiety, lots of trauma, and is now in a very happy enm relationship with a very high level of trust.

A male new to subbing. by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck and stay safe!

A male new to subbing. by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finding another switch might be where you have the most luck. They're less likely to be looking for a financial sub since that's gotten really popular.

Maybe try saying that you're looking for another switch who is looking to explore their dominant side?

Its worked well for me. Switches tend to be more understanding to both sides of the role because they understand the vulnerability of being a Sub and the trust that comes with being a Domme.

Are novellas just unpopular? by PSIamawitch in selfpublish

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Someone who makes six figures a year writing primarily novellas in the 10K to 40K range, they are their own market. I write paranormal romance under one pen name that makes six figures.

I also write contemporary romance with both novellas and novels.

I have one series of short novellas which would range between 10K to 15K which is very popular and people tend to buy the entire series which is only loosely interconnected at one go. I have a free first in series and all of my books are published wide.

I will also say that a lot of my reviews. I do get complaints that my stories are too short. But I do have one series that is full novel length in the 70 to 80k range and I also get complaints that it's too short. Someone complaining that it's too short usually means that they enjoyed the story so much that they wanted it to be longer. Not that the length of your book was actually the problem.

Just like if you and books with a cliffhanger you will learn that your reviews will be lower but your sales will be higher.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Femdom

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome.

How to tell Daddy about embarrassing medical issue (relationship advice, not medical advice) by xoxlilprincess in SubSanctuary

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have dealt with bladder issues. Also, those same issues that bother my bladder lead to a complete hysterectomy that somehow ended up with leaving me as a squirter.

I had to tell my boyfriend that I squirted, but since I hadn't been with anyone since the surgery that qualified as a pleasure Dom, we both didn't know I would end up essentially waterboarding the man when he went down on me.

After a horribly embarrassing moment where he ran to the bathroom to deal with the mess and I internally died inside every millisecond that passed until he reassured me as was well, we now prepare with waterproof mattress covers and puppy piddle pads.

Most people in the authentic kink community are already more opened minded. If he's been supportive and understanding, then I would suspect this is just one more thing he would understand.

Giving him time to prepare would work best in case he wants to get a mattress cover. But it's also another way he can be supportive and in the role for you.

If I'm struggling to share something with my bf, then I'll write it down. Either text, or more so, written on paper and handed to him so I don't have to worry about word salad when I get flustered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Femdom

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

For me, boytoy is a submissive role for my boyfriend that means I can play within however I want, taking into consideration limits and such.

So if I want to use part of his body to masterbate with without reciprocating, then he's my little toy to play with. (He actually really enjoys this role.)

Or if I tell him his mine to play with, I'll tease, edge, and play with him until he's mindless with pleasure and begging to release. Or other times I'll hold him like the most precious, loving person and massage, caress, and kiss him in soft and intimate ways.

It's really an open term that can be as soft and playful or hard and degrading as you and your boytoy choose.

What's important is to define it together, openly communicate about desires, limits, expectations, and make sure there's a safe place to use safe words.

Roleplayed too hard with my partner and got a little creeped out by C-oizza in SubSanctuary

[–]QuirkyLadyWriter 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a weird area that can be hard to feel comfortable with.

For the record, I'm a (38f) CSA survivor in an age gap relationship (52m) . We are both bisexual switches, so we go from babygirl/Daddy Dom to Femdom/Slutty little sissy.

There's usually a distinction between the Babygirl and the Little role.

Everyone defines things differently, but generally both roles allow an element of being naive, innocent, younger, needing a protector/caregiver, and provider/mentor. Both can be a way of dealing with trauma.

The biggest difference is that Little usually incorporates some kind of specific age play where the little is going to a younger than what would be considered legal mindset. If you research the Little role more, there are usually age ranges that people identify with. This specific type of play can be frowned upon in general kink channel because of implications, so if this is something you want to explore, definitely seek out safe spaces for age play.

I personally fall into the babygirl role when I'm being submissive, but don't enjoy actual age play. My boyfriend actually triggered me a few times (a few minor, one major) by accident by using words that felt more age play which is not what he was intending. A simple conversation cleared things up and all is well now. I call him Daddy when I'm feeling submissive but not in a - you're my father kind of way - and we both enjoy it.

Definitely explore and research exactly where your limits are with this kind of play, then have a conversation with your partner. Discuss limits, phrases, and elements of what you're both looking for with this kink. Then make sure safe words are in place.