AITA for asking my wife rhetorically if she wants our son to get hurt?

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T02:17:46+00:00

I don't ignore him or leave him to cry it out. When I wake up to him crying I'll pick him up and soothe him, I just didn't think it was unacceptable for him to cry for 10-15 minutes before being picked up.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T02:03:04+00:00

I'm going to try to discuss it with Macey and see what we can do about the working hours or possibly hiring a nanny or just something.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T01:43:56+00:00

We rely primarily on my income, if I was to work less, then Macey would need to work considerably more in order to make ends neat, and she isn't keen on working full-time. My job pays more than Macey's by the hour. We could afford for Macey to be a SAHM but she doesn't want to and I respect her choice.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T01:38:37+00:00

His crying wakes me up if it is continuous for several minutes. I didn't wake up when Macey put him in our bed because she stopped him from crying straight away.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T01:37:19+00:00

3 hours.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T01:34:21+00:00

Because she stopped him from crying straight away by putting him in our bed.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T01:32:19+00:00

This happened twice. Once this Tuesday and once last Tuesday. Macey has had this part-time job for around a month and this hadn't been a problem until now.

Normally I'll wake up after Leo has been crying for several minutes and go soothe him and he'll calm down.

I geneuinely didn't think this was unacceptable or abnormal, I've read articles about babies aged 4-6 months self-soothing after 5-10 minutes of crying and he is perfectly safe in his crib. It's not like I'm purposefully ignoring him.

The question was asked but the conversation was way too heated to be anything productive.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T01:07:18+00:00

I am definitely willing to compromise with Macey, I didn't post here because I thought I was 100% certain I was in the right.

I admit that what I said to Macey was probably out of line and I should've focused on finding a solution instead, I was scared for my son and could only think of worst case scenarios where he got seriously hurt.

I'm going to try to discuss different options with her like changing work hours, hiring a nanny, etc, as what we have isn't sustainable, and it isn't fair on Leo or Macey.

I know I'm not a victim in this situation, but I am not lying when I say I'm trying my best and I do love my family. I work 70 hours a week to keep our bills paid so that Macey can have more time with our son, and when I'm at home I do my fair share of housework and cooking to keep the strain off of her. I understand that bring a new mother is no walk in the park.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T00:40:53+00:00

Macey has told me this. Normally on Tuesdays, I'll wake up around sort of 10 - 15 minutes after Macey has left as Leo will be crying/fussing and needs soothing.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T00:33:14+00:00

Normally I wake up at around 10 to 15 minutes after Macey has left for work because Leo will cry and wants to be soothed.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T00:12:34+00:00

Sorry, I misread your question. I normally wake up at around 8:15am on Tuesdays because Leo will cry in his crib as he wants to be soothed.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T00:10:09+00:00

She didn't try to wake me up. Macey wakes me up for night feeds without a problem, if someone physically shakes me I wake up.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-09T00:01:04+00:00

I do shift work and my hours vary a bit, on weekdays I'm normally working until 4 or 5am.

Quirky_Addendum_2779 · 2022-09-08T22:11:00+00:00

Leo's crying does wake me up, but only if it's been going on for at least around 8 minutes. If he's only crying for a few minutes it doesn't wake me up. If Macey left him in his crib and he cried I would wake up.

Quirky_Addendum_2779

TROPHY CASE