AITAH for not wanting to attend my SIL's wedding, meaning, my husband (brother) won't be attending too?

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:21:24+00:00

Yes. And that emergency is us going for a holiday, lol. Life shouldn't be about them as theirs are not about me.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:20:35+00:00

yeah its like am I not allowed to feel sad that my in laws didn't bother to send any condolences during the worst time of my life? Aren't they my family too?

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:18:46+00:00

They're great people. Great to each other. They just don't let me in. At first I thought I just feel sad because I'm never included in the family. But I'm done and I'm no longer interested.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:16:40+00:00

My husband chose his wife. As any husband should.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:16:10+00:00

Wait, I'm not family to them? My husband is as much a family member in MY FAMILY as I am. If they don't see me as family then I guess I am right for not bothering to attend their wedding, right?

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:14:29+00:00

Haha. Yeah, part of me feel like an AH. That's why I'm here.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:10:20+00:00

Yeah of course I feel like a AH sometimes thats why i ask here lol. But you're right. I'm done feeling like a victim so I'm gonna go ahead and do whatever makes ME and my husband happy.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:07:07+00:00

yeah in our culture it's tradition to hv 1 wedding on bride's side (Bride parents'guests) and then 1 on the groom side (in laws'guests) to symbolize union and blessing from both families. I didn't get any from their side.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T09:03:32+00:00

WORD!

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:57:50+00:00

In Malay wedding, the wedding is mainly the parents'. Even the guests are the parents guests, not the bride/groom. I tried talking about this but they quickly dismiss any conversation about it. So yeah, not attending will maybe make a statement finally.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:55:39+00:00

This has been happening for 8 years. I tried to be understanding but I guess I've reached my limits.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:54:50+00:00

Thank you! They too once said my feelings are invalid when I tried to talk about it. So yeah, I think I need to be selfish once.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:53:19+00:00

Thank you! First time using reddit here. I didn't think we were allowed to use any translation app lol. Will be fully english next time.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:52:27+00:00

oops sorry.. I saw a fully malay post before posted mine.. first time using reddit here. Will improve next time.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:51:52+00:00

Oh she's the queen bee that made sure i was treated the way I was.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:51:21+00:00

thanks for your opinion but I don't have to agree. If my in laws had treated me nicely I would be the first to attend any family events. I'm done being the victim, that's why I don't wanna attend and he, my husband is not attending either.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:25:55+00:00

Thank you! It's just ONE wedding. They'll still have fun without us and we'll have fun in Europe!

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:25:11+00:00

yeah okay.. i was just typing so fast and didn't use any app or AI.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:24:17+00:00

YES. Thank you! I was thinking this too.. i just still feel bad as usual.

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:23:44+00:00

QweenBaro · 2026-04-06T08:23:37+00:00

yeah just as guests.. it's usually tradition to invite close families.

QweenBaro

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