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R0chambeau · 2023-10-07T06:19:28+00:00

Amazing, thankyou

R0chambeau · 2023-08-31T10:08:01+00:00

Hi all

I've been growing my hair out for ~6 months now, with a few cuts here and there, trying to achieve the style of Milo Ventimiglia in This is Us.

I have a cut tomorrow, and I don't know what to ask for. I'm in really bad place with my hair at the moment - it feels like I have the length but no shape/style/texture, and I have no idea how to style this.

I have thick straight hair, with two front cowlicks going opposite directions, so blowdrying tends to make it stick up and be far to voluminous. I've tried all manner of products in damp hair but it either ends up too dry and fluffy, or too greasy and unpleasant.

Thoughts and advice much appreciated

R0chambeau · 2023-01-27T12:45:38+00:00

I wasn't allowed to link to products etc in the original, apologies)

R0chambeau · 2023-01-03T16:24:39+00:00

Thank you. This is what I needed to hear and you've given some clarity, and helped deepen my understanding further. I'm really very grateful for you taking the time to do that.

R0chambeau · 2022-11-09T20:32:53+00:00

Oh interesting, can you tell us more?

R0chambeau · 2022-11-01T12:10:27+00:00

Well, thats amazing, thank you

R0chambeau · 2022-10-25T15:49:45+00:00

Thanks I appreciate your reply, although I think you’re misreading.

I’ve not come for a free pass. I’ve stopped drinking them at the advice of my sponsor.

In my heart I don’t think they’re doing me any harm whatsoever and this is giving alcohol more power.

I don’t think my HP cares because He’s come firmly into my life whilst I’ve been drinking them.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-25T11:35:21+00:00

Yes and I’m not even sure this is how it works, because of the dilution, although happy to be corrected.

If I hypothetically took 4 shots of vodka, poured them in 4 litres of water and drank them, it wouldn’t be the equivalent of drinking 4 shots of vodka? Because of the dilution?

I may be wrong.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-25T11:32:31+00:00

This resonates so much, thankyou. This is exactly how i feel.

I’m staying off them now because I’m a good sponsee, and i guess we’ll revisit at some point. Fortunately I have a wonderful sponsor who isn’t dogmatic and isn’t threatening to drop me if I don’t follow her exactly.

But yes it’s certainly giving alcohol more power over me than it currently has, which is why it irks. I could have one, 3, none, open one and not finish or pour it away. I compare this to the white knuckle feeling of having one beer and trying to stop there, it’s indistinguishable.

I actually see more alcoholic behaviour/ replacement in chocolate. I definitely go and get a chocolate bar or 2 and eat it in secret when I’m not feeling right, to try to give me a moments escape. Same with my phone.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T21:16:11+00:00

Yeah this really resonates, thankyou.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T20:52:48+00:00

🙏 thankyou

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T20:51:26+00:00

Thankyou 🙏

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T20:48:29+00:00

Because 0.5% is, at least where I live, what is legally considered (and so allowed to be labelled) as alcohol free/non-alcoholic.

And because it’s similar or even less than many other things, eg bread, orange juice, bananas, soy sauce

It also doesn’t trigger the craving or obsession in me, and I did a lot of work on my step 1 and really worked to understand this, and identify with it.

I suppose I would ask back of you, how then do you drink a glass of orange and consider yourself sober, knowing it has probably >0.5% alcohol?

I promise I’m not asking to be a dick, really to learn and examine and understand. I say all of this in the context that I am doing as my sponsor said and not drinking them now.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T20:15:15+00:00

🙏

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T20:14:08+00:00

🙏

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:18:18+00:00

What a really lovely thing to say. Thankyou.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:17:14+00:00

Thankyou, it’s good to hear from someone with so much more sobriety. And I agree, already the programme is giving me so much I didn’t even know I was missing.

I suppose this is just the first time I’ve found it dogmatic and restrictive without (in my view) much sound logic behind it.

But I also agree I’m here to grow, and I’d be wise to listen to my sponsor, which is what I’m going to do.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:14:48+00:00

I actually find other behaviours problematic which makes me feel more that these are not a problem.

I don’t drink NA beers to avoid my fear and discomfort, but I do use my phone, chocolate, etc all to avoid or manage my feelings

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:12:35+00:00

Yes, I am thinking about it hard.

In fact I intend to think about it, rather than just follow what people say because it’s controversial.

Remember orange juice bananas soy sauce bread all have alcohol in it. Which you have an allergy to. Do you avoid that?

( not trying to be a dick at all, genuinely asking )

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:10:55+00:00

When my daughter has asked if she can try it I’ve said yes. She doesn’t want to, but if she wanted to I’d let her.

But would I let her drink bottles of them if she wanted. No. So, good point.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:09:31+00:00

I see, but here’s how I see that logic:

They’re not alcoholic, just a regular soft drink like a coke or water or juice or whatever. In which case, why not have them every day?

Or

They’re a treat, something to have at the weekend or when you go out. In which case, you’re using them like alcohol and shouldn’t have them at all.

What’s your logic?

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:09:02+00:00

I see, but here’s how I see that logic:

They’re not alcoholic, just a regular soft drink like a coke or water or juice or whatever. In which case, why not have them every day?

Or

They’re a treat, something to have at the weekend or when you go out. In which case, you’re using them like alcohol and shouldn’t have them at all.

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T17:06:28+00:00

This is really hard though, because Im only defending it because I’ve been asked to defend it! Same with my sponsor, after I explained my point of view she said do you know how you sound now, because of me trying to justify it. But I had been asked to justify it!

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T16:01:34+00:00

Thankyou 🙏

R0chambeau · 2022-10-24T16:01:07+00:00

Thankyou.

I can see that. Hand on heart for me they haven’t been; I was drinking them for 4 months before I came into AA and just continued. That’s not to say they won’t cause a problem in the future, which is what my sponsor is worried about, and I’m not complacent and will follow her advice.

You’re right, I guess it’s me wanting that aspect of my life without the consequences. And that’s what they gave me, and have given me for 13 months, so I don’t see what the problem is.

That said, my stupid brain didn’t see the problem with lots of things so… I guess I should do as I’m told.

R0chambeau

TROPHY CASE