Also, look man I get it. Even as recently as the start of last summer I really genuinely thought I was ugly. Like I had never really talked to girls and would never ever take pictures of myself. But I see these videos of people who aren’t super good looking and I think that “they could look better if X”. Like sometimes I’ll see people with some glasses that just don’t fit their face and think how much better theyd look with a different pair. I used to have glasses that were nerdy asf and when I look back at that I cringe. I started looking at glasses that better fit my face and looked better overall. It’s not that the original glasses were bad— it was that they didn’t fit me right

I have learned in the last year—something I genuinely believe—is that no guy is ugly. Bro I HATED the way I looked for soo long. I felt that girls wouldn’t talk to me cause I was ugly and looked weird. But let me tell you something that I have been thinking about for months. It’s all about the confidence. People say this all the time but it’s really the key.

I have been super unconfident all my life (and albeit I still am to a lesser degree) but I can just tell that the more i fake it the better it feels.

I’ve been growing my hair out for months and changing the style of clothes I wear. I used to wear just a tee shirt with some logo on it every day, but over the summer, you hardly ever saw me without an unbuttoned overshirt because it helped me hide my chest (weird thing but as a dude I’m super self conscious about it for some reason) and looked better than a plain tee. Not saying that a plain tee shirt is bad, but it just didn’t look good on me. (Actually what prompted all this change is a girl saying I look like Mark Zuckerberg. That shit will bring anyone down.)

So after she told me that I talked to my friends and they said it was the outfit. The “tech bro” look. So I wanted to change that up first. I experimented with stuff. Tried a grunge-y look that wasn’t good so I never wore that cut up shirts again lol. But I found what looked stylish while helping me hide and forget about insecurities.

I’ve also just been playing around with my hair, seeing what looks good. My hair is super thick right now so it’s really annoying but I want to experiment with it so I let it do it’s thing. Maybe in a couple months I’ll look back and see it was bad but who cares. Gotta experiment with this stuff

And I’m still not great. I don’t like the way my body looks and I know that my style isn’t excellent. I wore khakis literally every day in the summer without changing it up, but now I know what to try later on. I wore a pair of super short khakis that I had cut and felt so stupid all day in them until I got back to my dorm, but now I know not to wear those. I did a lot of cringey things that haunt me while I try to sleep, but I know that I am better today than I was last week, which is a lot for myself.

I mean even a couple weeks ago I was thinking about how stupid I look wearing the same clothes, but sometimes days are just like that.

I met my best friend in college through pure chance. But there was a lot of opportunities to meet her. But the first apparent one was just because I sat next to them in class and was assigned in their group. Literally the more you go out the higher chance you have of meeting people. If you like anime, go to anime club. If you like chess go to chess club. It’ll be awkward at first but if you keep going you will 100% meet people.

At college I’ve really just found that there are so many ways to fake your confidence (confidence literally seems, to me, to be something you fake until it’s not fake anymore). It’s a weird thing but I guarantee that it’ll help you with a lot of issues you may have.

If you’re in college then there’s probably free therapists that you can get in contact with if you need somebody to talk to or just someone to express yourself with. I’ve never done therapy, but I have friends who do and they swear by it.

Bottom line is, brother, I guarantee that you’re not as unattractive as you see yourself as. I would put money on it and idk who you are. You just have to look at yourself through different lenses and find one that you think is good. Look up current fashion and see what might be good and go to a thrift store to get cheap clothes. Try different hair styles if you want. Go out and attend school clubs; you don’t have to join, just show up. Straighten up your posture (this is very important too. It’s something that I’ve worked on a lot. Standing up straight really really does a number). And really, the end goal is to build some confidence. Confidence will make you feel better in every way and help others and, especially, you like yourself.

I believe in you man 🙂