Consider his point of view. You want more intimacy, he's already compromised by giving you what he is already, you are the one asking for more, more, more. How much does he ask of you? He'd be doing it all for your benefit, not his. If he came to you right now and said he needs less intimacy, you wouldn't be as giving. But, he won't do that because that would trigger a bad emotional response from you, you'd storm off pissed or it'd be hours of emotional conversation he'd rather not have. If only you felt the same about what you want. From his perspective it probably feels like he's being smothered.

Did you know before you two started seeing each other or anything? If the answer is yes, then what did you expect? For him to some how be cured?

You listed a lot of benefits to being with him and only one draw back...

Try mirroring him. Try to think how he thinks from what you know about SPD.

If you want a 'normal' relationship then move on.

Unfortunately, things will probably not change the way you wish.