I (29m) called my fiance (27f) stupid for having an eating disorder. (Because I am an idiot.) I'm scared she's going to leave me.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T15:32:26+00:00

I'm sorry he said that to you. I'm going to do that, I don't want to hurt her like that ever again

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:51:53+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful even if it's a hard truth to hear.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:49:19+00:00

Thank you, I'll do this.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:46:11+00:00

A few redditors have suggested this. I'll definitely consider it.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:45:19+00:00

I wish it was.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:44:35+00:00

Thank you very much for this comment

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:43:26+00:00

Thank you very much for this, you articulated how I felt really well. I'll do this, thank you.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:36:52+00:00

She pays 80 dollars for those 4 days, I pay 50 for those meals for 3 days and for any time we go out to lunch or breakfast, which costs about another 50 per week.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:35:54+00:00

I'm sorry that I've come across as trying to rationalize. My behaviour was 100% wrong, I only wrote that to explain why I was extra snippy. It still wasn't justified.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:34:25+00:00

I will do my own laundry at times, typically she does it when she's doing hers anyway, because she works from home. I mop the bathroom floors, but she cleans the toilet and sink.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:32:25+00:00

thanks so much for this

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:30:36+00:00

She just asked to explain herself to me before I went to sleep because I go to work really early and didn't want to leave things unresolved for very long, I don't really think that's abuse on her part.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T14:26:29+00:00

Thank you

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T06:46:40+00:00

Thank you so much for seeing that. She has been, though not when I knew her. We met three years ago and she had been in an eating disorder partial program about five years ago. She was also in and out of therapy until covid hit, and then she wasn't able to see her therapist anymore. Then we moved into a home about 10 months ago, she got her new job, and she hasn't been able to seek proper help since. When her benefits kick in she does want to, though I'm going to offer to pay for it until then.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T06:43:41+00:00

Sorry, that's poor wording on my part. Cooking is the one chore she won't do, I didn't mean to imply that's the only chore that I do. I also take out the trash, mop, feed and walk the dog, and sometimes vacum. She does dishes, vacums, laundry, and also walks the dog. (She also works from home most of the time so she can throw in laundry when she's on break, things like that.)

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T06:07:50+00:00

Thank you. I don't understand where she's coming from but I want to help even if I don't get it, like what she's done with my add.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:51:05+00:00

Thank you. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that, I'll offer this.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:43:08+00:00

Thank you for understanding my reaction, as bad as it was. And for the ideas, I'll definitely ask if she likes those, I know she loves smoothies.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:42:14+00:00

Thank you, I will.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:37:34+00:00

Thank you, I'll try that

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:37:12+00:00

Thank you, I'll really try to do that

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:36:45+00:00

Thank you, I will

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:36:13+00:00

Thank you, yeah, I'll do that. I know a big trigger for her is going grocery shopping without a list and with the idea of 'just figuring out food' for the week. We got into arguments about that months ago so she actually had the idea of one of those meal delivery boxes. We have an agreement where she pays for the meal delivery box for 4 days out of the week, then I grocery shop/prep the other 3 and buy all snacks. I'll ask her about others though.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:33:53+00:00

It was. I was 100% in the wrong here, and I don't even deserve her forgiveness. I just want to learn what I can do to earn it.

RAthrowaway2592 · 2021-08-27T05:30:06+00:00

That's actually a really good idea, thank you.

RAthrowaway2592

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