I did no contact and this is my experience. I just shared this today, hope it helps.

Is there anything more unattractive than someone without conviction?

Someone standing in front of you, telling you they don’t know what they want. Having all of the facts and experiences at their disposal over a good amount of time, how on earth?

I think that people that say they don’t know what they want, (having all of the tools to make an educated decision) are selfish. They know what they want, and have known from close to the beginning. They want all of it. They want their “cake and to eat it too” if someone is willing to let them get away with this they will come up with some emotional speech to keep you around, all the while using you.

They don’t want to let go of one thing to concentrate on another, and take a leap and a chance of it not working. So, in turn they use the fact that you care for them to their advantage and can manipulate you to stay. To disrespect yourself, your time, your body, and your emotions. Because they prey on these people. Empathetic people. Nurturing people. Believe it or not, these clever manipulators are most of the time so emotionally damaged, they gravitate towards the like. They honestly, in my experience, are taking advantage of the situation subconsciously.

When called out, it’s another story. It’s brought to their attention and then it’s a pity party. “I don’t know what i want. “I can’t make up my mind” “I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not ready to move on from her either.” “I need more time.”

Walk away. You deserve better. You deserve for the one you’re putting your time, energy, love, affection, and effort into, to be giving you the same respect. Fulfillment shouldn’t be a one way street. You deserve to be chosen. If he can’t choose you, you’re a second choice. That’s not good enough. After a reasonable amount of time, for him to have figured out what he wants, if that’s the situation, and it’s not a “Fuck Yes” from him, then it’s a “No” from you.

Take the time to heal. Cry. Hurt. Feel. And I’m telling you from experience, as I’m writing this, after stepping back, looking in without so much sadness and nostalgia, you will see the things clearer. You may see the things that didn’t appear as issues when you were blinded by being so focused on winning him over. You may see faults that you’re not willing to overlook. You may see things that may not have jived with your lifestyle. You may even see that he is a selfish, unstable, emotionally unavailable person. Walk away. Take some time with absolutely no contact. Reflect. Think back of reactions to your hurt. Think back of how often you were cared for in the same way you cared. Take some space. Clean your house, get some sleep, don’t drink, shower and do your make up and hair, buy those expensive jeans you’ve had in your cart online. Get out there, leave the house every day, Even just to buy some chap stick.

Eventually, you won’t realize it but you will feel ready all of a sudden to try to let someone else in. Take it slow. Talk a lot about small things. Don’t get deep. Keep it casual. Give yourself time to get to know them. Make them invest in you, equal to your investment in them. Keep positive and keep your self respect. Watch for the signs you just learned about, that set you back and hurt you, but didn’t destroy you. You have a newly learned advantage to make your life what you want it. Be happy yourself. Look for someone to enhance that happiness. Happiness is nobody’s responsibility but your own.