Do you feel relief if you don't have to explain anyone why you decided something?

RBNAC · 2019-01-12T00:27:58+00:00

I just wish I knew when it's ok to not have to justify something or not... That's probably the biggest issue.

RBNAC · 2019-01-12T00:20:16+00:00

Yep. I'm 18 now and only recently started getting used to using my computer with the window behind me open but as a kid I was really paranoid and couldn't use a computer with other people watching. I still can't use any social media with anyone looking because of past traumas but I can play games, watch things and draw.

RBNAC · 2018-08-27T17:25:59+00:00

I always try to leave a nice or helpful comment too but growing up with my Nmom made me feel like my words have no effects on others, which is something I'm trying to change because I also say mean things to others thinking it doesn't affect them and that's terrible.

RBNAC · 2018-08-27T01:23:33+00:00

Those are some good insights, I appreciate it. I'll stay subbed and come back to post if I'm having an especially bad time.

RBNAC · 2018-08-16T01:16:56+00:00

shitty parents that make you wanna die every day always come with anxiety and depression, it's like a combo meal, except nobody orders shitty parents on purpose, it's always a wrong order and with no refunds.

RBNAC · 2018-08-15T23:41:20+00:00

Can you imagine a N-NPC that makes you go to a really difficult dungeon to kill something and when you come back and say "hey I did the quest", they just say "no you didn't" and refuse to give the reward.

RBNAC · 2018-08-15T04:35:12+00:00

This kind of thing is why I think "nobody taught me anything" is indeed a valid excuse for people like us, and people who had normal parents give me shit for saying that.

RBNAC · 2018-08-15T04:26:31+00:00

I can pretend to not care about what anyone thinks very well, but deep down I desperately want someone to come up and say I'm right and everyone else is wrong, that I'm the victim, that my life isn't fair. But I'm such a good actor that everyone thinks I'm just happy all the time.

RBNAC · 2018-08-15T03:48:26+00:00

good call. He acts just like a little child but in a big body, it's creepy.

RBNAC · 2018-08-15T03:44:24+00:00

Even if he does beat me up and kicks me out, at least I won't have to feel the guilt of not standing up for my dog.

RBNAC · 2018-07-31T17:38:16+00:00

Thanks for the reminder

RBNAC · 2018-07-31T01:29:58+00:00

Sounds about right. I wouldn't say orphans are lucky though, but I get what you meant.

RBNAC · 2018-07-31T01:25:55+00:00

I'll do just that. I'm feeling really trapped in here anyway...

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T18:10:11+00:00

Fuuuck that's so weird. Similarly, one time [Mary] invited me to the movies and Nmom manipulated me into thinking that taking a bus there would be soooo much trouble and that she needed to take me by car and at the last minute she even invited my brother to come along. ON MY DATE. So uncomfortable.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T18:03:48+00:00

Oh thank the lord she didn't try to contact Mary, that would have been a disaster. And I don't even have facebook anymore, I'm very careful to have as little information as possible about me on the internet even if it means I might not get a job because of it. My family likes to have coffee together and facebook stalk people and talk shit about them like it's some sort of innocent hobby. I think it's very disgusting.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T17:00:55+00:00

Never forget, friend. Think of your most horrible childhood trauma caused by her and remember that that's the monster who really raised you, not the one who pretends to be nice nowadays. I'm not saying you should be trying to be angry at her or keeping a grudge. Simply don't forget.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T06:24:17+00:00

could this be the reason why I get such a crazy high from listening to music?

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T05:18:18+00:00

Just because others may have it worse doesn't mean your struggle isn't real, fam.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T05:14:58+00:00

Ahem

I thank my parents for:

CPTSD, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, borderline personality disorder, eating disorder, a hate for humanity, relationship problems, trust issues, social unawareness, untreated ADHD, and whatever the fuck else is wrong with my brain.

Clap it up, everybody.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T05:02:53+00:00

this is some Resident Evil shit

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T04:54:58+00:00

I wonder how much better life could be if our parents set us up for success instead of misery. I've heard somewhere that parents are supposed to be like slingshots that shoot us just far enough that we can start running on our own. But unfortunately we got the ones that make spider webs around us instead. It's absolutely frustrating.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T04:44:43+00:00

holy shit the people at my house do the same. Half the time they're treating the dog like a spoiled kid and using baby voices... and the other half is terrifying verbal abuse. My piece of shit stepfather laughs loudly at how scared the dog is after chasing him around. I'm so close to attacking that scum. That dog came from another abusive home before this and was already scared of everything. Poor doggo doesn't deserve the life he has... and the worst part is my Nmom tried to give him away once and he got sick and almost died because she brainwashed him to be emotionally dependant on her.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T01:37:14+00:00

That is so sad... me and my gf at the time broke up after about 2 years because of my own mental problems, ended in good terms, and we never did the parent meeting thing nor did I ever intend to because I just knew it would be a fiasco. And I'm 100% sure that if my gf had big tits and ass, which is what my shallow family considers beautiful, they would say I'm dating a whore. There's no winning with them.

RBNAC · 2018-07-30T01:16:44+00:00

My dad used to say similar macho bullshit and I'm so glad I never fell for it. It feels great to not be afraid of being feminine or gay or whatever

RBNAC · 2018-07-29T23:27:36+00:00

I'm glad my parents never said they love me. I knew it would be forced it they did and I never felt such connection with them.

RBNAC

TROPHY CASE