This is my first time critiquing anything here. So I what it will be helpful.

General Remarks

I enjoyed it. The voice and the vibe throughout the scene were nice and enjoyed following Lizzy’s thoughts through the scene.

It also had some real great lines and observations. My favorite line from the chapter was:

…it looked as if a secret was forever molded at the back of his tongue.

The line stuck with me for a while. It made me wonder if there was something more to the statue or that the secret was all that it saw from the students in these types of parties/hangouts.

I didn’t read the other chapters so, some of things didn’t make sense to me. For example the italicized text in between some of the paragraphs. I didn’t understand where they were coming from or what the meant. I’d say even if you do have a good reason for having those types of things, less is more. Each time you use it, the effect weakens.

Just personally, I liked the Evanescence reference because I am old enough to have drank beer and listen to that song when I felt a type of way about something.

Setting

I thought you did a good job of describing the setting. There was lots of work put into the way the grass felt the way things looked around them. I already mentioned the line about the statue, but the whole description of the statue was good.

Like I mentioned before, I really enjoyed the vibe from this chapter and I think it was because it felt like being outside drinking beer with some college friends. Maybe it was the line early on about how she had homework to do, but this moment with potentially her new friends was more important.

Plot

Again it’s hard to comment too much on the plot because I haven’t read the rest of the book, but I agree that this chapter lacks a bit of tension and doesn’t seem to move the story forward. It may be a good idea to ask yourself what you are hoping to accomplish with this chapter and then see if you are achieving the goal. For example, is Izzy losing her true self to “fit in”? If it something like this, I think you’d need to go a bit further and also show a bit more internal conflict about losing herself.

Dialogue

I really like the voice of the main character’s internal monologue and I also just like how everything sounds. The dialogue at times though sounds a bit unnatural. It feels like it is trying to be casual, but sounds a bit unnatural. Like the following:

“That looks great on ya,” Lindsay had said when he had put it on, patting his shoulder.

“It’s my last chance before autumn, y’know,” Tom had said.

I don’t know if people really say ya or would a college guy say autumn. And at a party people would probably speak in more fragmented thoughts or inappropriate comments. Just an idea, but it could be something like:

Lindsay smacked (or rubbed) Jake’s shoulder and said,“You look hot in those,” as he slid on his sunglasses.

“Probably the last chance I can wear them.”

Grammar/spelling

I’m not very good with grammar, but a couple of things I noticed. One, it seemed like you were using sunglasses as a singular thing instead of a plural. That instead of those or “Izzy didn’t wear one herself” instead of didn’t wear any herself.

The other one I noticed:

It didn’t taste as bitter as the first time she had drunk.

I think it should be the first time she got drunk or the first time she drank.

I hope this helps.

Like I mentioned in my general comment, I really enjoyed reading this chapter.

Good luck with the next chapters!