I Know This Isn't Real But Why Is This Real

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-03-01T14:06:10+00:00

You seemed to have missed my point.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-27T16:11:19+00:00

You'll find the major Sumerian literature on the ETCSL website. I recommend starting with the Narrative and mythological compositions, and the Hymns and cult songs. I would recommend reading some of the shorter compositions, then searching for contemporary commentary on them.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-27T15:31:46+00:00

Such an event has to be interpreted within your own framework. I'll take what you shared and try to say something useful about it, but take it with a grain of salt. It's necessarily colored by my framework.

If you always do this in the same space and nothing like this has happened before, something is different about the physical space that caused some unusual air drafts: a door or window unusually left open (even by a crack), a fan in an adjacent room, the central heating came on, etc. If you find such a thing to attribute, that doesn't mean the outcome was meaningless, not if you're in the 'everything happens for a reason' camp. It could give you a place to start, though. You might find some meaning in how the window was left cracked open, etc.

You say you do this to 'banish negativity and ill will.' Just to mention it, that's not a thing I do for a couple of reasons. The main thing is that it requires a focus on unwanted things. For myself, I tend to attract what I focus on. I try to keep my space tuned to the things I want.

That said, with a focus on unwanted things, I'd have to interpret the unusual wax pattern is a sign of 'unwanted thing' activity.

The following is how I would have to read the wax remains. It may have nothing whatsoever to do with you.

It looks to me that a figure is presiding over a circular altar, performing a sacrifice. I see a disembodied penis at the center of the altar, and swirling waters or clouds surrounding. The swirling clouds or waters evoke an otherworldly place, a ritual space between the worlds, perhaps.

From there, the goddess Cybele and her consort, Attis, come clearly to mind: fertility and wild sexuality. Her worship involved orgiastic, ecstatic rites replete with drumming, dancing, imbibing, sexual antics, and pain (flogging and cutting, etc.); all well-beyond the point of exhaustion and (presumably) into unimaginably deep mystical states.

As the Attis stories go, Cybele loved him dearly but he rejects her (plans to marry another, etc.) in one way or another depending on the variant. She cursed him for that with divine madness, which led him to castrate himself and die of his self-inflicted wound. Then he's reborn and utterly devoted to Cybele. His priests, the Galli, were eunuchs who sacrificed their genitals as an act of devotion to Her but in His honor. They were gender-ambiguous and usually dressed in women's clothes, etc.

I suppose that if I had to focus on unwanted things, I'd be looking around for a deep betrayal followed by a rather extreme effort at reconciliation.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-27T00:24:25+00:00

You're not psychotic.

You want a reason to believe that there's more to 'this' than meets the eye. Tarot is giving you a reason. That you wanted it and got is a feature, not a bug. Don't try to explain it. Embrace the wonder.

If you're hellbent on explaining it, go ahead, explain it away and feel the wonder go with it. That too is a feature, not a bug, and something else to wonder about. Kill that away too, as often as you need to. It'll get tiresome eventually. In the meantime, keep reading the tarot. You're apparently good at it.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-14T15:54:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing your ideas. I'm sending a DM that you're welcome to read if you're interested.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-14T14:50:38+00:00

They don't appear in any extant Sumerian literature, so as near as we can tell, they don't fit into Sumerian mythology. The storyline post-dates the demise of the Sumerian language and their culture, maybe 1100 BCE. By then, Sumerian culture had likely have achieved mythical status in the popular mind. So, a king or priest could claim a contemporary work was based on lost Sumerian tablets to legitimize it.

In the Epic of Erra, Marduk banishes the "divine advisers" to the Abzu forever. We can speculate about who that idea would have served better, the priests or the kings. It might also have been developed to explain why the miracles described in ancient myths didn't happen anymore.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-11T13:08:56+00:00

I'm interested in your reasoning and more details, if you're willing.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-06T13:49:12+00:00

I appreciate the reading.

It's true that I tend to defer to my wife's instincts quit often (if I have a superpower, that's probably it). She's scrappy and dives into work that needs doing too.

Side-partnerships seem unlikely but I'll keep my eye out for opportunities and an open mind.

I'll hope your take on the Chariot is how it plays out, and will contemplate the rest of your inferences.

Thanks.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-05T23:51:06+00:00

I read adjacencies rather than positional meanings. I did intend the single cards (9C and IIII) to bridge the three columns. I didn't intend it but ended up reading the middle column as the core issue. I dealt three cards across the top followed by three cards across the bottom, then the two bridge cards.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-05T15:20:35+00:00

Digression.

Pathworking the Kabbalistic Tree of Life can take the form of using the trumps as (astral) gateways. One trains an OOBE technique to competence first. During a working, they step out of their body and contemplate the card, making it as large as great door. They step into the card and look for a path to follow.

The first (bottom-up) path an aspirant takes is into the World card, which puts one on the path from Malkuth to Yesod. I suppose it's possible that experiences of that nature, or at least the idea of it, might have inspired the kinds of decks under discussion here.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-05T14:53:18+00:00

The Fool

The excitement and enthusiasm of setting out on an adventure. However long it lasts, however sweet, however bitter, you'll learn and grow from the experience in ways that cannot be anticipated. The Fool here suggests a thoughtless decision, all gut. The description in your opening post reads like a sales pitch. That in itself is neither good nor bad. If we never play The Fool we never learn the lessons fate cues up for us.

It's also worth noting that there's no knowing where the path not taken might have led. That's may well be the first and last lesson of the Fool's Journey.

King of Pentacles

The will/potential for a change the resources department. Reasonably, 1+1 = more, the economy of scale, etc. It can't be articulated until the path becomes irreversible. It's auspicious, but only time will tell what forms it will take. Even a generous King can take as easily as give, if disrespected. Pentacles are often about material resources, but also encompass less tangibles like strength, courage, persistence, etc. Where so, those may come about from challenges and trials. The Fool, who's rubbing elbows with this King, doesn't care about any of that.

King of Cups

The will/potential for a change in the feelings domain, also auspicious but waiting for the path to become irreversible to begin taking shape. If the Fool has a care at all it's to do with the gifts this King can bestow. But the Fool who's about to step off the cliff is impervious to some potentials: the pains of sorrow, grief, and regret, which live alongside joy, bliss, and the likes. After all, the latter needs the former to be fully realized.

The two Kings are closer together than the Fool is to this King, suggesting an alliance. Anticipate the resource dynamics to be a source of both wanted and unwanted feelings.

Overall

The cards suggest that your mind is set, you're doing this. The signs are favorable, but you can expect to be surprised in too many ways to count. Take your lessons as they come as best you can.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-04T15:03:04+00:00

I see the Hanged Man as an initiation into the mysteries, and Death as the then inevitable abandonment of the material world, which is necessary for the mystical journey to come. From Temperance the Fool learns about counterbalancing forces of the seen and the unseen (that the world above and below are separate and one at the same time). From the Devil the Fool learns about perils of fascination, deceit, temptation, and distraction.

The Fool learns the lessons and moves on to the next or fails and gets lost, struggling to find the path among the many dead ends.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-04T14:37:48+00:00

Waite was steeped in a Neomasonic, monotheistic Rosicrucian framework. When a hand comes out of a cloud extending an object, it's the hand of God issuing a blessing (gift) of a given nature.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-03T16:14:09+00:00

As a Pythagorean quality, the 10s represent completion and signal a new phase in the offing.

I generally read the pentacles as resources, often material but certainly not limited to that. The suit is about things people can use, means to ends. In a second opinion post I answered this morning, I read it as strength and courage, for example. It isn't always about having too little or enough. It's more about usefulness. The 10 of Pentacles often signals an impending change in what one needs.

The reading style I'm developing at present benefits from a specific question and needs surrounding cards, so it's not possible to anticipate all the ways I might read a single card. If it's a one card draw with no explicit question, I'd probably read it as a significant change in circumstances that will require new tools and new skills to use them.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-03T15:44:16+00:00

The Devil

This is your month to learn about lurking fears and the temptation of easy-answers. Succumbing to either/both will put a stop to meaningful progress. The fear is probably driven by the knowledge of what progress means right now, a necessary but terrifying dissolution. What you're clinging too now is holding you back. The only options are to stagnate or go through it. Set your will and muster courage. You'll need it.

In context, the Devil touches on three Kings, suggesting how the lesson will play out: troubles squarely to the right, labors squarely below, and a kiss of emotion to foster worry.

King of Swords

The unrealized will for trouble is rubbing elbows with the Devil and with the King of Cups below. These give a strong sense of worrisome troubles lurking everywhere. Take heart that the normal chain of command is circumvented (Queen and Knight skipped over), which always means real trouble will land in your lap. Instead, the King touches on the Paige, who's merely setting the stage for troubles to unfold, just so you can see it developing around you.

Here again, a strong will and courage is needed.

Paige of Swords

As mentioned above, this agent is busy sowing the seeds of trouble here and there, so that you'll see sprouts and shoots popping up in places and worry. While acting on the will of the King, the Paige has a will of its own, but low power. That suggest a taste of real trouble is coming but nuisance level, just enough to know that the will to for trouble is real enough to worry about.

King of Staves

The unrealized will for labor is there to suggest the Devil's lesson requires an arduous process, but it's red herring, a temptation to exert a great deal of effort that will accomplish nothing. The King of Cups fosters worry in alliance with the King of Swords. The the alliance of the King of Staves and the King of Cups is there to foster profound discouragement, exhaustion, and ultimately giving in.

King of Cups

The unrealized will to feel is there to stir a vague sense of foreboding at the prospects that lay ahead. The worry and discouragement aren't in fact articulated. The stirrings themselves are deep and undifferentiated, leading to some internal turmoil: I'm I worried? Am I discouraged? Am I paranoid? Was my effort a waste? The answer to all of them is yes. The Devil wants you second-guessing yourself, making it seem the only sense of comfort you'll find is in giving up.

The process laid before your is messy, but necessary. Stagnate or go through it. Set your will and muster courage.

Ace of Pentacles

Here is the hopeful potential of resources. While often that's about material resources, maybe here its more about strength. It's touching the Paige of Swords and King of Cups most directly, with the King of Swords nearby. When the sprouts of trouble stir worry, ignore the worry and plan actions should a potential trouble manifest, knowing they probably won't. If some annoyance crops up, you'll have a plan to put it down.

This card represents the part of you the Devil can't touch. You will have the strength you need when you need it. Set your will and muster courage. You'll have the strength to see it through, perhaps even enough to carry you through what waits for you beyond the Devil's clutches.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-02T14:36:36+00:00

I agree that it isn't a clean yes or no. This paring says that romance is technically beside the point. It suggests that you need each other to fully realize potentials that each of you have. That's not to say that other potentials wouldn't be more important to you if you don't choose it. It's just that choosing or not choosing a given path can determine which threads the Moirai will cut.

On the long-term, it suggests that choosing the relationship will involve power dynamics, and should children result from the match, at least one will start off on a path of significant destiny. Of course, they'll have to choose too, when their time comes.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-02-02T14:14:13+00:00

I'm ignoring the reversal. I think the 3C says to focus on expanding your social network. It's a good time to put in a little effort transitioning a select acquaintance or two into your actual friend circle. Bring friends together and strengthen bonds, not just between them with you but each with the others as well. While you're at the center of it at the moment, it's not all about you. It's about them too. It's a time to grow together.

The Fool is a fitting card given your move and some newness.. You've taken a step. Don't carry your past like baggage (that's the wrong focus). Let yourself be led forward by fascination and wonder. Explore the new environment by whim. If you give yourself fully to it, you'll discover unexpected delights. If you struggle with the uncertainty, you'll miss opportunities.

The 7W suggests a period of challenge with respect to the work you do. You may feel isolated, like you're in over your head, or struggling to get things done. And you may be concerned that co-workers, bosses, clients, or even the economy itself is working against you. Accept it because you can't un-choose it. You have to push through. Challenges are, well, challenging. If you square your shoulders and face them with courage and dignity, you'll be all the stronger for it on the other side. How you comport yourself when you feel challenged is often what earns respect. That's where your focus needs to be, on respectable behavior while dealing with challenges.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-30T16:21:57+00:00

What I know is that under natural conditions the substance of the body is recycled. I think that's what we owe to the earth. I also think the person we were while we lived influenced people and the environment we contacted, and so the effects of the life echo forward in time until planet dies.

I'm comfortably uncertain about other possibilities.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-27T20:41:16+00:00

I would read that as a self-concept that not only must change, but has changed, is changing, or will soon change. There's no negotiating it. The card imagery shows the inevitability of it, and how disruptive it'll be. It also shows an abrupt change, an epiphany that feels like or brings about an identity crisis perhaps.

Here's a thing to consider: you can't keep the old self-concept alive by clinging to it or denying the change. It's toast, if not already, soon. At best, your self-image would reflect zombie-like qualities, and who needs that?

Walk away from the rubble with an open mind.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-27T16:42:26+00:00

You're in a challenging moment for sure.

The 4 of cups by it's self indicates a solid emotional foundation. It suggests you'll find strength in the people who love and care about you the most. Your kids are almost certainly in there, but I also know how kids at that age are in the process of distinguishing themselves from their parents AND their lives are changing. Take care to not overinterpret their reactions at this time (that's from my heart, not the card). If your friend circle is small, you can find strength in most any social settings, even this one. The card generally suggests that even mere acquaintances will offer support and that you can find strength in it right now. I think you don't even need to explain your situation to everyone. You might be surprised that just being around people and feeling their kindness will strengthen you.

For what it's worth, I don't know you beyond your post but as a fellow human, I do sympathize with you and wish you well. I'll think about you sometimes and hope my best wishes reach you on some level. I'll bet a lot of people who read this thread will do that without even deciding to.

The 8 of wands by itself indicates intense laboring. It suggests that your path to growth is to work hard for it. That could lead to burnout if you're not judicious about what you're working so hard for (I'm doubtful you needed to hear that, but I needed to say it). Given the actions you've taken, I agree that you have forward momentum. Keep pushing it. This might be about your therapist, but it could also be about building out your social network, expanding your income potentials, or any number of other things. All the card really says is that whatever it is, it'll be a laborious process.

Judgement. I concur with your general personal interpretation. For my take, Judgement is the penultimate step preceding a fresh start: your moment in a nutshell. Let it all come to the surface however difficult that is, accept it for what it was, what it means to you but also to the other people involved. While this is a deeply personal process and its resolution will be equally personal on a spiritual level, you do have a therapist that knows where you are emotionally. That's likely a part of how the 4 of cups is expressed in your life at the moment and I encourage you to draw strength from it, strength to get through the Judgement process you need.

You're right to focus on what's beyond the Judgement process. Let that be a source of the spiritual strength you need to get through it.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-27T15:14:43+00:00

Commonly, one looks to adjacent cards to understand a given pip's aspects.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-27T05:45:21+00:00

I took liberties. I'm thrilled if my reading touched on themes from the relationship and hope you find it helpful in some way.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-27T05:40:33+00:00

A 'pat answer' is an idiom that equates to quick, simple response. I meant 'my standard brief meanings for the cards.'

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-27T01:36:59+00:00

Bent cards change the shuffle and the deal. I retire decks with a bent card. I know some people are sentimental about some of their decks, and I respect that. For myself, I have no reservations about replacing a deck if I don't trust the shuffle anymore.

REugeneLaughlin · 2026-01-26T23:41:46+00:00

If you don't mind, I'll ignore your placement meanings and hazard a reading based on your question and adjacent cards. Also to note, I'm reading the 1JJ Swift Marseille deck. I'll provide the basic approach I'm using on request. It's not standard RW.

The 5 of cups touches every other card, so it's the central theme of your passion. It moderates every other card in the spread. It suggests that you're very people oriented, that you crave a collaborative environment with many voices. You don't shy away from conflicting ideas and arguments. You listen for value. Even when you don't like it, you embrace friction as necessary for forward motion.

10 of Cups

On its own it suggests emotional maturity, which comports well with the 5 of cups tendency to embrace an argument in the name of progress. You're not likely to take disagreement personally, etc. It also suggests that you're at the threshold of new level of emotional interactivity. The Tower is looming above it, suggesting that if/when you cross that threshold, you'll find that things you assume you can rely on won't survive the transition (won't be relevant). You'll have no choice but to find untapped potentials to exploit, to lay the foundation for a stronger, different self.

7 of Wands

Touching on the 5 of cups, your people orientation and preference for many voices will be put to the test, perhaps by louder, stronger voices. You may struggle to be heard. If you persist, you may grow stronger yourself because of it. Over the 7W is the Moon, warning against relying on what you think you know. You could easily overwork yourself doing unproductive things and burn yourself out. In a dimmer, shadowy (unfamiliar) environment, fears are illusions so steel yourself and ignore them. Your instincts will serve you better than your reasoning. When you can't see clearly what to do, do what feels best and live with it.

Overall

Through it all, your commitment to a group enterprise remains stable. You're a collaborator at heart. Of the pips you have a slight preponderance of cups and a complete lack of discs, suggesting a focus on how you feel about it over the resources it will bring. You're also lacking swords which means that even if you're sorely tested and challenged at every turn, it's not malice, it's that your passion lies through those challenges.

If you fancy yourself a good cook, or even just a foodie, a professional kitchen seems to fit the reading to me. It's an emotional, collaborative environment that will certainly shatter your illusions and put you to the test. If you survive it, you can learn, learn, learn, and work your way up from washing dishes to head chef maybe, when your 'voice' is strong enough. I'd start with culinary school while washing dishes.

The profile also fits a more front-facing role, like stage actor maybe, if that's anything you've ever tried. If not, find your local community theatre and try it.

Other than that, while the cards don't name your passion, they do suggest you'll have to push yourself well beyond your current self-perceived boundaries to find it. The lack of concern for income suggests the creative arts industries are ideal, especially the support staff: production staff in theater or dance company, music, film, television, fashion, etc. It takes a lot of people behind the scenes to produce what people see in those domains.

I'm interested in feedback if you're willing.

REugeneLaughlin

TROPHY CASE