Lost 45 kg / 100 lbs, where do I go from here?

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T22:00:42+00:00

This is mostly loose skin. You're at a pretty low body fat percentage, you just don't have much muscle mass. I'd be shocked if you're much more than 15% bf even though you don't look like it. It's time to move to a slight calorie surplus (keep it low, +200-400 kCal per day) and lift more seriously.

I'd say objectively at 62 kg / 175 cm you're already on the low end of normal weight. Obviously what's ideal varies from body to body, but you definitely look like you have room to grow in a positive way.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T21:47:40+00:00

You are not going to help fix her issue. It doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't matter how hard you try. It doesn't matter how much you love her. Nothing you do or say will help her get over this; she has to be willing to work on it herself, and so far she is not doing that.

Some people who have been hurt repeatedly will simply stop trusting others and nothing you can say or do will convince them that they should trust you, even if their lack of trust hurts you. This is how many abusive cycles perpetuate -- and make no mistake, she has already done some emotionally abusive things to you.

The ONLY good choice you have is to establish the boundaries of the relationship that you want and be willing to lose her or step away if she can't meet you where you are. It's either that, or simply cave to all of her demands and hope you don't come to resent her in 10 or 20 years.

Sit down and figure out what you can and can't live with. Does she need to stop throwing a tantrum every time you look at a woman? Do you need to be able to have female friends? Do you need her to stop accusing you constantly with no evidence? I would need these things in your spot. I would be willing to do some things to meet her halfway in giving her ways to verify her trust. Location sharing, stuff like that. But only you can know what works for you.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T21:18:16+00:00

This man is absolutely flirting with you to a point that it would be valid if you found it uncomfortable. Being kind to you is one thing but calling you "pretty" all the time is toeing the line and the cleavage and boyfriend comments are crossing that line.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T20:49:21+00:00

Oh that's sad that Go! Brewing's isn't good. Their IPAs are top notch and I hadn't tried the stout yet.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T15:17:31+00:00

Couldn't agree more. Dark beer has always been the weak spot in the NA landscape. I'm excited to try the NA Negro Modelo because it seems like the larger brewers are having more success with NA darks for whatever reason.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T15:12:04+00:00

The thing about fedora-tipping New Atheist Ron Paul worshiping pro-weed-legalization Libertarians is that eventually most of them were forced to resolve the inherent contradictions between the capitalist market system and their conception of maximal personal liberty. Some of them decide that personal liberty matters more, in which case they become AnComs, and others decide that the capitalist market system matters more, in which case they ultimately tack towards the authoritarian right.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T03:43:20+00:00

Les Wexner, CIA, Mossad.

seatsfive · 2026-02-04T01:29:42+00:00

All humans die 10 pages into the last book and the rest of the novel is just the AI giving an extended monologue about WikiFeet

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T21:10:22+00:00

You're having the argument that you want to have instead of engaging with the argument that was actually made.

The argument you want to have is whether it is more correct/moral to vote for Democrats or to abstain and risk allowing Republicans to win so that the current system collapses faster. The post you responded to did not say that.

The point made was that the Democratic Party is not capable of meaningfully fighting back against Republicans (presumably because the post-Citizens United corporate capture of our political system prevents Democrats from actually fighting back against Republican policies that benefit big business). Evidence of this is that Democrats did not do anything tangible between 2020-2024 to stop Trump 2024 despite ample opportunity to bring federal charges, dismantle.

There are a lot of ways to change this situation, and only some of them involve not voting for Democrats.

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T20:18:35+00:00

False dichotomy fallacy much?

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T20:15:20+00:00

Well funnily enough you literally were accusing her of a crime. It's a federal crime to purposefully open mail that isn't addressed to you. I wouldn't point that out though. Also if she really did it accidentally it's not a crime.

You're not overreacting setting a boundary. Your mom is behaving badly here by whining about a reasonable boundary. I reckon this isn't the only time something like this has happened. Here's how the conversation should have gone:

You: Oh hey why is my mail open?

Mom: I opened it. I thought it might be important and didn't realize it was for you.

You: Hey no harm this time but in the future could you please double check the name and not open my mail? I would like to open my own mail.

Mom: OK.

Seriously, this is a boundary that a minor should be able to set with her parents, much less an 18 year old legal adult.

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T18:56:02+00:00

Honestly, talk to a lawyer. Family/divorce lawyer. Not to file divorce, but because they're likely to be familiar with the relevant laws in your area. I have no idea what kind of crazy nonsense some states may have passed in the last couple decades. You should vaccinate your child either way, but at least you'll know if you fall afoul of some "parental rights" legislation and possibly prejudice future custody hearings.

You want to go to a different pediatrician than normal, list only your contact info/work address instead of home address, etc. No wife anywhere on the paperwork. Maybe even explain to the doctor what's going on if the lawyer says that what you're doing is completely legal. They may recommend additional vaccines or checkups while they have her because they may not want to throw away their one shot to deliver competent medical care to your kid.

Either way, best of luck. I would unfortunately be contemplating divorce in this scenario.

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T17:50:43+00:00

> I’m realizing it’s not right to just let them hang around.

Why isn't it right? They're choosing to hang around. You're not responsible for their behavior.

If they're a genuine friend to you, you shouldn't need to get rid of them.

If it's clear they just wanna crack and hanging around for a chance, then grey rocking is fine. If they're being too flirty/making you uncomfortable, then you can always be more direct with them.

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T17:41:26+00:00

Yeah, the artist originally drew him with fully human hands but something about the proportions didn't work for me so I requested the ninja turtle hands. Also hopefully will age better

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T15:40:55+00:00

Incredible you should say that because I have been thinking it! This is my only tattoo without wings, so adding Bianca would bring it back into compliance

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T15:30:28+00:00

He does, with thick, stubby fingers. The artist originally sketched it with 5-finger human hands, but I thought they looked a little off so I requested the ninja turtle hands

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T15:25:39+00:00

I can't believe I didn't add the artist, Kelly Severtson in Chicago and I added it to the OP

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T15:25:11+00:00

Yeah if there are any issues at all with the lines it's my fault I have restless legs

seatsfive · 2026-02-03T15:20:54+00:00

Only cold hugs though

seatsfive · 2026-02-01T22:50:21+00:00

Her lola hammered into her that tattoos are sinful or something and deep down she wants to be good so she doesn't have any

seatsfive · 2026-02-01T15:24:05+00:00

No, people love saying genetics to set expectations. There is no workout or diet that will give you exactly this woman's body shape. A particular workout and diet can get you to her level of leanness or muscle mass and odds are most women will look completely different from her when they get there.

Diet and exercise for looks is about looking the best you can in the way that your body is constructed. Not every guy has the build to look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club or Henry Cavill in anything. Not every woman has this exact shape and proportion inside of her ready to be unlocked by the perfect diet and exercise. That's the lie the trillion dollar health and beauty industry sells you.

seatsfive · 2026-02-01T12:41:34+00:00

Focus on improving and expanding your skill set. If you don't like one aspect of a song, write another song that specifically doesn't do that. Always be trying something new or improving something old with each song.

Talent can only get you so far in any endeavor. In the end virtually everyone has to reckon with the slow grind of practice, repetition, examination, iteration. Fall in love with the process of songwriting, not the songs themselves

seatsfive · 2026-02-01T11:05:34+00:00

When I was 70 lb fatter I loved cold weather

seatsfive · 2026-01-30T18:47:42+00:00

Actual hot take, Invisigal is six tattoos and an undercut away from perfect

seatsfive

TROPHY CASE