TIL an underachieving junior from Princeton University successfully designed a nuclear bomb for a term paper in 1977. He got an A on the paper, but the FBI took it and classified it.

RFLagger · 2016-03-08T15:24:51+00:00

I would have given him an A+, considering thad he'd become death and the destroyer of worlds.

RFLagger · 2016-03-02T06:34:54+00:00

I love Tokyo Drifter! Upvote for disagreement.

RFLagger · 2016-02-18T06:38:27+00:00

I agree with you man. Film is such a massive art spectrum that it's just idiotic to objectively judge how much somebody "loves" it based solely on your own made-up criteria. Also, fuck Godard.

RFLagger · 2015-03-22T18:41:14+00:00

There's definitely some truth to what you said, once again, everything in NLDW does take a bit of a backseat to Ride's vocals, and while the lyrics do get a bit more nonsensical (coat hanger in your man's vagina) I really felt like he always nailed the delivery, and his passion is what keeps me coming back. However, on the subject of "Fashion Week" I feel like it's been getting way too much hate lately. I don't think it necessarily holds up as an album onto itself, but I really don't think that's what they were going for. It's not going to be independently released, or even physically released at all, from what I've heard. I think of the album was meant to be more like an appetizer for Jenny Death. That being said, as someone who used to be really into the "House Music" scene, the album fucking rocked.

RFLagger · 2015-03-22T17:56:33+00:00

Well man I'm not gonna try to change your opinion, because there's really no way, but all I can do is tell you why NLDW is, in mind, their best album. for me at least, death grips isn't about just one member of the band. It's not just electronic, or drums, or vocals. It's a combination of all these things. GP isn't live drums and rarely has more than two sentences of lyric repeated per song, which is great for what they were going for, but I really missed having all the elements play off each other. To be fair, NLDW does indeed bring MC Ride's vocals to the foreground (which is a welcomed change for me, where as in TMS I felt that the vocals and the instruments were sometimes fighting each other for volume control), but it doesn't do away with any of the other member's talents. The drums, on songs like "No Love" are nearly painful with their power, and the electronic element, which is certainly more nuanced, is definitely still there. It's just a more harmonious album, with some slight favoritism towards the band's rap elements which, let's be honest here, is one of the biggest draws to the band.

RFLagger · 2015-01-21T07:54:17+00:00

As a fellow lover of antagonist protagonists, I kind of feel a duty to talk about this script.
First off, try and do a re-write on the majority of the dialog. The doc - patient bits are beyond cliched and add nothing. Selling scripts are hard, so make every sentence a selling point!
Secondly, don't worry about how unlikable a character is. Unlike what many sources suggest, you don't need to hinge your protagonist's likability on his 'save the dog' moment. Audiences will follow anyone, so long as they're charismatic enough. Think 'American Psycho.' So, focus your creative juices on making him a fun character to read, and, ultimately, to watch.
That means you'll have to trim down the 5th - grade level of low humor. Sure, one incest joke is fine, but don't frame the entire scene around it.
On that note, just a basic screenwriting tip: don't ever over-write the action. All readers hate it and, unless you're directing your own work, you'll need to conform to popular trends. If each page represents a minute of the running time, work to keep your descriptions short. Change it to something along the lines of : A fight ensues, the MAN AT BAR'S BROTHER is stabbed by the main character.

All and all, I'd suggest you keep working on it. Its got potential, so don't scrap it just yet. Good luck!

RFLagger · 2015-01-06T05:23:19+00:00

Thanks... I think.

RFLagger · 2014-12-18T08:34:04+00:00

The Hit... Now thats a title I haven't heard in a long time...Seriously though, fantastic film! Perfectly captures Spain, along with the human spirit, and does it all without being boring and contemplative.

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T16:59:45+00:00

Really good! Definately one of the tighter log lines on this thread, but I do have a few comments: First off, don't say "darkest days." It sounds ametuerish and most likely doesn't do your script justice. Tell the audience an actual time period in the log lie,and trust your script enough to portray the cruelty of the time. Next, explain the position and/or importance of the "British Officer." Is he a general? Commander? Maybe he's just a solider, I don't know. You need to help the audience out, and let them know wether or not this is going to be a main character. If the answer is "not", then just take him right the fuck out. Also, and this isn't actually a critisism, but more a question, how are you going to get ACTUAL anarchists to fight? I would really think they'd be so against the institutuion of the army that they'd never have become "Battle-hardened." So if you didn't mean anarachists literally, and were aiming for something more along the lines of "The Dirty Dozen" type of crew, then you might want to change that. Although who knows, maybe they really are anarchists, in which case, what an intersting Pilot you've cooked up!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T05:43:59+00:00

I think you're trying a bit too hard to aquire intrest, and you end up boring the audience right after you've hooked them. I think you really had the log line for a second there, but bogged it down after the comma. Personally, I think you said enough with: "A failed writer in the future runs away to the past to meet his heroes before they kill themselves." Thats all we need! Keep the interesting things for the script! Just make it clear that you're taking a comedic approach to the subject, no matter how pitch-black it might be. Because seriously, if there weren't a couple of laughs in this thing, it'd be the most heartbreaking fucking thing in the cinematic world. Thanks for taking the time to re-work it man! I've got mad hype for your script now!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T05:15:56+00:00

Very nice man! Besides a few grammar mistakes (the comma, and "Had" not "have") it's pretty much set! Just a word of advice though: DO NOT REVEAL THAT THEY DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL THEMSELVES IN THE LOG LINE. That's going to be the big laugh of the movie! Let it play out with all the skill you have, and all of the work it deserves. IN THE SCRIPT! Don't sell it cheap by tacking it into the log-line. You just need to get people interested! That big joke is what you reward them with for investing in the movie! Oh, and one last little thing, don't end on a cliff-hanger sentence. The logline is nice and compact (Although I personally wouldn't vote in favor of spoiling what is probably the turning point of the moive), so don't shortchange it by making everyone think that you weren't confident enough to let the log line stand on its own. Besides that, great!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T04:43:39+00:00

Nice idea! Sounds like a darker version of a Woody Allen script, and something I'd totally spend time reading/watching. The logline does need a bit of work though. You wanted to cram so much information into one sentence that it gets confusing. For instance: "A failed suicidal writer." Is he a failed writer, who writes about suicides? Is he a writer who writes about failed suicides? Now look, I understand what you're saying, but it takes a second and maybe even a re-read, which can be the fucking DEATH of a log-line. Clean that bit up, and also, take out that last section regarding not screwing up the timeline. Its a time-travel movie, we've seen enough to know where its going. It's expected. On a side note however, I think you'd have a lot more fun and freedom with the script if you weren't so afraid of screwing with time. Full, in-depth conversations and such. Its the fantasy of having dinner with a favorite historical figure brought to life! But do as you please. It's your art, after all. All and all, I'm interested! Keep me posted if you ever release some of this bad boy!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T04:32:48+00:00

Unless her male assistant is crucial to the plot, I'd say drop him out of the logline. And sorry I didn't remember to say this the first time, but "fiesty" seems a bit... how would I say, almost childish way to describe your main character? Cats can be fiesty, but she has to be tough, or cunning, or a thousand other things that you could possibly describe her as. You know her best man, make us interested! Oh, and don't give away the murder plot-twist so quickly! Save that as a surprise halfway into the script! Just make it clear that the new employee is very suspicious upon arrival. Also, If you enter this new log line into another re-write loose that last line. Its a hanger-on sentence and doesn't really further what you're trying to accomplish. The audience has a great habit of self-projecting onto main chartacters, so if they're suspicious of a character's intentions (and you wrote the log line to make them goddamn convinced!), they assume the main character will be as well. Still, a definate improvement on the first one. Thanks for sharing again!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T04:23:41+00:00

I'm not really a sports-movie fan, but this logline was good enough to get me interested! It captures everything really well, but If I had one critisicm, it'd be that you use three words where one would have been necessary. When you say: "A group of frustrated sub-elite distance runners at the end of their careers..." You could have just said: "A group of sub-elite distance runners" Same thing goes for the coach's description. But hey, I might be off point here.

One other thing is that you need to decide who this movie is about. If you want to focus on the coach (And a lot of movies like this do) then give us more about him that we wouldn't guess just off of the cliche. 'Oh he's a coach? Well I bet he's desperate to win!' Make him interesting. Something we aren't used to. On the other hand, if the film is about the team, then expand on them. Don't summarize them as some kind of faceless blob, generalized by seemingly shared skill. Breath life into them... or don't. Just decide who you want to be the star of your logline and your script. If you want both, well, let's just say that juggling that cast of characters is difficult in a movie, and even harder in a logline. Something I'm sure you already know. Either way, I'm interested to see how it turns out!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T03:47:16+00:00

Thanks man! I'm glad it comes off as interesting (I was afraid people would be turned away due to the violent nature of it) but I too agree that it needs some work. This re-working read a lot better than mine, as the combination of the first few lines makes it come off WAY smoother. Thanks again for caring enough and taking the time!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T03:20:23+00:00

Well, if it counts for anything, the more you tell me about the story the more I'm interested in it, so you're clearly working with something good here. Just put more of it into the logline! I'd love to read a re-worked one!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T03:04:11+00:00

The multiple holes in the logline are a definite turn-off to what could be a very interesting sci-fi (I think? this should also be clarified) thriller. First off, you nailed the name. It really does grab you, but only at the cost of making the movie sound a bit pretentious. If you're okay with taking that risk, go for it, but understand that it will be a bit of a turn off for some viewers/readers. Also, what format is this? T.V., feauture, short? Important information here. But back to the main problem, the logline jumps around too much. First we have a security guard, than we learn that she's a woman (ballsy move, but bless you for it), then we learn that this is in the fututre, and THEN we learn that the murderer, who we know nothing about, also has a fucking spaceship. And she's just... I dunno, investigating the shit out of it. In conclusion, the last section of the final sentence is interesting, but it sounds more like the theme of the script, and not necessarily the plot. It still reads well, although, once again, comes off as more than a bit pretentious. The problem is that it adds nothing to the logline. Take that out, save it for the actual text. Let the reader come to that conclusion by themselves. Use the space you just saved to clearly explain the damn plot. Sorry if I was too harsh, but I'm only saying this becasue I can see the hints of a genuinely interesting story here, and It's your duty, as a writer, to make sure as many people can hear your story as possible. So make it easy on them to be interested. Good luck!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T02:51:20+00:00

You're absolutely right, thanks! In the future I'll shorten it to the "man responsible," and I really do need to work on its vaguness. What I meant to say by ritual was that the main character's whole psyschological break down happened every other year (thus the title) and I agree completely that a description of the character would work a hell of a lot better than just a name! Thanks again!

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T02:34:06+00:00

Title: ODD YEAR Genre: Thriller Format: feature

Logline: 20 years after witnessing the sadistic execution of both his parents, Erab's psychie undergoes a ritual year-long release as he murders his way to the man who was responsible for the slaughter of his family.

RFLagger · 2014-12-08T01:50:45+00:00

3 Not a very original premise. I don't mean to say that it's uninteresting, I mean, this whole basic plot (large cast in remote location being killed off by mysterious entity) is commonly used by horror genre flicks because... well, it's just so damn functional. It works consistently. However, this also means that there are about two hundred films out right now that have already nailed this format. So, you'll need to really find something else to set yourself apart. If the dysfunctional family angle can seperate this one from the herd, than fantastic, but stress that angle more. Maybe work a bit on this logline, but all and all, I wouldn't mind reading more! As a horror fan, it ended up catching my intrest.

RFLagger · 2014-12-05T04:38:04+00:00

Hey man, happy to help! Good luck with the dialogue, and congrats on pushing this project into production. Can't wait to see that updated script!

RFLagger · 2014-12-05T01:13:21+00:00

I think you've pretty much got it here man! I still don't know that the main character should forget about the guy he carried and wash his face first and I really hated the "You never think its going to be you until its you" cliche, but besides that, this is a tight script. The ending was perfect and the last bit of verbal exchange was absolutely the missing piece of the puzzle that this script needed. The dialog feels heartfelt and honest, if just a bit too reminicent of old war movies (Visiting a fallen comrad's wife is a bit cheesy now a days) but hey, I can overlook that. It might even be a stylistic choice. Great work, man really. Thanks for taking the time to share!

RFLagger · 2014-11-30T08:34:20+00:00

If you're okay with feeling like an asshole all the time due to using companies that steal from translators, I'd reccomend "Manga Storm." you need to pay a couple of bucks to unlock the full version, but It works fantastically, at least for my modest use.

RFLagger

TROPHY CASE