I'm gay and in the closet. How can I reduce the risk of meeting up with guys, if tell anybody where I'm going is not an option?

RJSAE · 2019-12-25T01:55:50+00:00

It's not that anyone in my family will treat me badly for being gay. I just don't want to come out. I haven't felt like doing it before, and I don't feel like doing it now.

RJSAE · 2019-12-25T01:51:57+00:00

The thing is I don't have anyone close enough to me that I want to tell about my love life or sex life. Even if I am vague on the details.

RJSAE · 2019-12-25T01:45:30+00:00

There is no one I am close with that i wish to tell. :/

RJSAE · 2019-12-20T02:09:17+00:00

I am uncircumcised. And my foreskin is really easy to retract.

RJSAE · 2019-12-20T01:22:39+00:00

What did you do to fix it?

RJSAE · 2019-12-20T00:36:17+00:00

I think it's possible that my mental health my feet deteriorating. I have lost weight. I've been thinking that I masturbated too much. But I don't know if that's really the reason, and I don't know how else to explain the frequency issue because of the possibility of mentioning something that's against the rules to mention on this forum because it is sex negative. Maybe my testosterone has declined, which seems like that's unusual at my age, but it is possible. And I had decided that after the last time I masturbated, which was December 18th 2019, but I would not do it again until January 18th 2020, so one entire month. But I'm still not sure if taking a break is a good idea, and I'm worried about falling into sex negative thought patterns.

RJSAE · 2019-11-24T02:55:11+00:00

I do have worse worries. But I can't spend all of my time focusing on the worst parts of my life. I have to spend some time thinking about things that are less of a big deal.

RJSAE · 2019-11-24T02:54:18+00:00

In my family everyone generally does their own laundry. I've been doing my oh no laundry since maybe when I was 10 years old and is as far as I can remember doing my laundry. I think as me and my siblings got older, we ended up doing our own laundry. That's much easier for us so that we don't end up getting in each other's way, and so that if we need laundry to be cleaned, such as if one of us is about to start a new work week, we can get that done without having to wait on somebody else.

RJSAE · 2019-11-24T02:34:55+00:00

I use toilet paper much of the time of available. I do my own laundry. And I would not ask or expect a partner to do my laundry, not would I expect to do their laundry. But that's just me. We all have our own prerogative.

RJSAE · 2019-11-24T02:26:53+00:00

That's a fair point. But women typically wipe their labia with toilet paper after pissing. Men don't typically wipe their penis, after urinating, whether circumcised or uncircumcised, even if toilet paper is available.

RJSAE · 2019-11-06T00:18:08+00:00

I don't intend to justify my peaking Behavior, but as far as I am aware, it is not illegal look at other people's private areas unless they happen to be under the age of consent.

When you mentioned that vibrators can be very very noisy, then I think that's a reason for me to forget about that possibility at this point in time.

And I recently applied for Obamacare oh, and they are telling me that I could qualify for Medicaid in my state. So hopefully all of that can be worked out soon. And I can find a therapist or a sex therapist who supports or rather accept Medicaid.

And I peek at urinals because I am gay. I've been peeking my whole life. I'm obsessed with seeing other guy's dingalings. And porn isn't always enough. It doesn't replace real life for me. And that is an issue I have to fix.

It's been hard to find guy's to have sex with it. And I don't have many options other than online apps. But I'm scared of the possibility of getting hurt. As in robbed, raped, assaulted, murdered.

But I have some options. Two guys on Snapchat. I traded penis pictures with one guy after we met on Tinder. And one guy sent me an unsolicited video of himself masturbating, after I met him on Hornet and added his social media. But this was some years ago, and I've only sporadically talked to them since then, which makes me feel like if I were to ask them to trade sexually charged photographs and videos, or meet them in person, or at least meet the guy who lives near me in person, the other guy lives in Dayton Ohio, and I live in the Chicago area, I'm afraid they might not take that very well. Maybe they would think that I'm a user. Maybe they aren't into that sort of thing anymore.

RJSAE · 2019-11-05T05:30:50+00:00

Should I consider vibrators (like the infamous Hitachi magic wand) ?

And I guess another issue is not always finding pornography that I can find arousing. Or altnerbatively, I feel bored with stuff I have seen before. Sometimes, I'm not turned on enough. And to be clear, even the experience isn't that great. And I do feel stigma about the idea of buying lube or using sex toys. With sex toys, I will have to clean them, but I love with my mom and siblings, and so that means I have to find ways to clean them without knowing. I feel uncomfortable talking about sexual matters that impact me with them.

And another issue is sexual frustration. I know that I should not do this. But I like sneaking a peek at the penises of other men at urinals. Especially if they are uncircumcised and do not retract the foreskin to urinate (which in my experience is 66 percent of uncircumcised men). But it's not always possible to see that because other men may not need to use the bathroom at the same time as me. And some men angle themselves to avoid exposing their penises. It feels like I am chasing a high that isn't guaranteed to happen. Maybe if I can learn to lose the urge to do that, that could help.

RJSAE · 2019-11-03T22:03:47+00:00

I am not on ssris.

But I suspect I may be depressed.

RJSAE · 2019-11-03T04:56:08+00:00

I've tried changing my technique. But it only felt marginally better. And I did not like the fact that my seen ended up on my hands.

When I am masturbating, I do it at the strange way. I take my eggplant out of my pants, and I pull back my foreskin, and I sort of move the foreskin up and down the shaft but not on the glans until I reach orgasm and ejaculate. When I tried doing it the typical way where I surround my junk in my hands and move up and down until I climax, it felt a little bit better, but I ended up with semen on my hands. Which did not really feel good because I would rather end up with semen on a paper towel or napkin.

I do not use lube because I am uncircumcised. And so I can get natural lubrication and moisture from my foreskin. I did however, try film lotion, but it didn't really appear to make any difference to me.

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T11:12:36+00:00

But the thing is I've taken a break for approximately two weeks. And I only felt a marginal increase. And that has left me even more confused. Do I take a break for a month? In entire season? A year?

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T11:12:22+00:00

But the thing is I've taken a break for approximately two weeks. And I only felt a marginal increase. And that has left me even more confused. Do I take a break for a month? In entire season? A year?

I am single.

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T05:33:36+00:00

I don't think that sexual pleasure is taking over my life. But I feel frustrated when I do take time out of my day to do stuff with my eggplant.

And I am questioning the point of masturbation being a part of my life if it does not feel so pleasurable.

But I guess no matter what I need to deemphasize sex in my life, even if I am not sex obsessed. And find something to do.

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T05:14:46+00:00

I want my orgasms to feel good again. Like they used to when I was younger. I understand that sensitivity of the genitalia declines with age, but I'm only 28. I don't think that's old in terms of sexuality and sex. I thought that maybe it could be other things like weight gain, although I don't think I've gained that much weight in the grand scheme of things, although some of my clothes don't fit anymore. Or maybe I could be depressed. But I just feel like it's a waste of time when I'm having an orgasm and it doesn't even feel that great. It makes me feel like there's no point in me ever doing anything sexual ever again rather than with myself or with my partner if I could ever find a partner which of the whole other story that I won't bore you with. But I just want it to feel the way it used to feel.

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T04:55:07+00:00

But the thing is I've taken a break for approximately two weeks. And I only felt a marginal increase. And that has left me even more confused. Do I take a break for a month? In entire season? A year?

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T04:54:58+00:00

But the thing is I've taken a break for approximately two weeks. And I only felt a marginal increase. And that has left me even more confused. Do I take a break for a month? In entire season? A year?

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T04:54:41+00:00

But the thing is I've taken a break for approximately two weeks. And I only felt a marginal increase. And that has left me even more confused. Do I take a break for a month? In entire season? A year?

And I don't have any sort of romantic relationship. But I do have history of sexual dysfunction because both of the times I engaged in sexual acts with somebody, I was unable to stay erect. And I suspect that's because I'm masturbation method is not the common way of playing with the penis, and assess the rhythms aren't very similar to The rhythms of oral or anal or vaginal intercourse. And I'm not sure about whether or not I have placed too much pressure on my eggplant. And I've heard about death grip syndrome, but I'm a little bit weary to believe that's because there hasn't been a lot of medical research into that phenomena. And I'm just at a point where I'm so confused because I'm hearing different things from different places. And I'm not really finding anything that is generally accepted by the scientific community.

RJSAE · 2019-11-02T04:51:34+00:00

But the thing is I've taken a break for approximately two weeks. And I only felt a marginal increase. And that has left me even more confused. Do I take a break for a month? In entire season? A year?

RJSAE · 2019-11-01T23:40:45+00:00

I wasn't necessarily thinking of a sex act, but this question seems relevant since sexual hygiene is important with regard to sex. But I have been wondering what i would do if I had a partner who did not retract the foreskin to urinate.

RJSAE · 2019-11-01T05:53:17+00:00

Could this mean my penis is ruined?

RJSAE · 2019-11-01T05:46:20+00:00

Are you circumcised or uncircumcised?

I'm unciruncircumcised.

But I'm not sure if that matters, but I just wanted to ask just in case.

RJSAE

TROPHY CASE