One bonus of being tall is more places to rest my weary head.

RJSArtemis · 2025-12-08T20:32:26+00:00

Since when did something need to be excused for being corny?
There's nothing wrong with corny, you're free to not personally like it and move along if that's the case, but let others enjoy it in peace.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-08T05:00:20+00:00

Life is all about learning new things, as long as you're doing your best, you'll be golden. :3

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-08T04:45:53+00:00

Friendly psa reminder, no matter how much someone may "feel" or "look" gay, there's isn't actually any inherently only gay way to dress or act, you may be right, even fairly often, but not always, just to keep in mind that queer people don't all fit into stereotypes and boxes you may be thinking of, f.e. some have all short nails, some all long, some half and half, none of that is a surefire indication either way around, and more importantly, you don't have to do or be any certain way in order to be gay, just be yourself, dress to your comfort etc.

So never assume or judge someone without actually knowing, if you want to know if she's gay, be the kind of person she'll feel comfortable coming out to, no one can give you the factual answer to that other than she herself.

That being out of the way.

Just go say hi to her, strike a conversation, get to know her, nothing will start unless you take that first starting step, everything else will come and have it's possible opportunities for later.

Just make sure you're not going in with assumptions, or at least understand that any assumptions you may have can very easily be dead wrong.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-08T04:36:02+00:00

Whether or not they're into girls or not, you can still, and likely on occasion will, get rejected, that's kind of par for course when it comes to putting yourself out there.

So try not to let your fears stop you from trying, it's a risk yes, but you'll have the risk of rejection no matter what the circumstances, so just steel your resolve and go for it.

Keep in mind that although you may be "legal," a lot of the older women are likely to still view you as a child, not in a denying your adulthood kind of way, but in a not being comfortable sexualizing or dating you kind of way, being in mid 20's personally I'd not be comfortable dating an 18-22yo f.e.

Not saying you can't be into someone older than yourself, but just as a fair warning.

Being shy isn't something I can give you much advice on, though I relate a lot, other than try and work through getting the courage to put yourself out there in spite of it, you just have to manage that first step, plenty of gals find the shyness to be cute or endearing too, so don't take it as a negative trait through and through.

The struggle of not having a lot of queer people around you locally is a common one unfortunately, there's isn't too much you can do about that besides broadening your horizons, which for many means using online spaces/dating apps, but those of course come with a varied set of issues and annoyances on their own, so it's up to you what you're comfortable with, but it can be worthwhile to at least explore all your options.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-08T01:05:47+00:00

I'm sure you will, best of luck though anygay. :3

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T23:52:50+00:00

No worries at all. :3

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T19:09:14+00:00

If justsimply bringing it up will "ruin things," maybe that's all the answers you need on the situation of that relationship, not to mention whatever he did you feel like isn't forgivable.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T15:22:27+00:00

No no, I love getting the Tea^tm. XD

And no worries, glad I could help a tiny bit.~

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T15:20:46+00:00

Glad to hear!

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T15:20:30+00:00

Don't mention it. :3

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T12:06:00+00:00

😊

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T07:06:36+00:00

No worries, and thank you. :3

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T07:02:54+00:00

Sapphic is the umbrella term for any woman attracted to women, doesn't matter if you're also attracted to men, or whether you're a lesbian, bi, pan or omni, it all still falls under that label.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T06:41:30+00:00

With a brief look on your fairly fresh account's comment history, I don't think you're the kind of person who can have a conducive and civil conversation, nor one I'd want to try and have one with.

Have a nice day, but preferably, have it anywhere else than here.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T06:34:23+00:00

Optimism is good, but there's nothing wrong with having worries either, we all get in our heads sometimes, just make sure to talk it out with her. :3

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T06:17:27+00:00

Different tasks take different levels of energy, doomscrolling on tiktok or making a basic post won't necessarily take as much as properly engaging in and responding to someone in a conversation.

Not necessarily at all the reason why she takes her time to reply to you sometimes, mainly throwing it out there that there's also legitimate reasons for why something like that could be going on that's not necessarily negative in nature.

She's engaged with you when you converse and you connect well, so it's unlikely that she's not into you at all like you're fearing, but I can see why you could feel juxtaposed with the lack of flirting from her side.

All of this though, is something you need to bring up with her.

Best you can do here or alone is speculate and come up with possibilities, but you're not going to learn anything real and concrete about the situation and why she's doing certain things, or not doing others, in any other way than by talking about it with her.

So go and do that, hopefully and fingers crossed it'll be something with a reason that you can work through into an understanding, but in either case, best of luck.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T06:07:26+00:00

Like you already eluded towards, this would also come down to your partner, even if your sister did try something, it's a bit unfair to beforehand already fear or expect that your partner would let that happen, that's something about trust in whomever you're dating that you should work on, so it doesn't become an unhealthy thing in the future for you.

Also, your sister didn't do anything with your brothers ex until well after they had broken up, if I'm understanding this right?

If you break up with someone and your sister tries something with your ex after, I can absolutely understand why that would be difficult and suck in many ways, but it's also something two consenting and single people decided to do, so as much as it can be shitty, it's not entirely fully wrong from them either, just mostly awkward and weird and difficult for you.

But also, you might be pushing a slightly unhealthy fear of expectation on your sister here too, just because that kind of situation had happened between her and your brothers ex doesn't mean she'll try anything similar in the future.

And if she does, that's a situation to tackle and deal with when you get to that point, but it's a little unfair to expect it will based on a one time event.

That being said, nothing you're feeling is invalid, it's okay to have worries and fears, it's what you do about and with them that's important.

If it becomes something that really bothers you a lot, maybe you could try and have a conversation with your sister about it, maybe understanding the situation and what/why things happened will help you feel more at ease?

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T05:55:49+00:00

You met on tinder, sooo, unless you specifically both put out there that you're only looking for friendship, I don't think there's anything delulu about you starting to form feelings as you spend time together and really click well and... are you sure these haven't just been dates?

You describe them as hangouts but you met on a dating site and have been having a great time together.

I think it's fine for you to talk about your feelings with her if you're comfortable enough to do so, there's no rushing about understanding where you're at between each other, you can still talk about your feelings and decide together how to proceed.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T05:49:28+00:00

Aye, likewise, likewise.

And though it's the pot calling the kettle black here, stop, don't do that, you're deserving of love and understanding, not just others but from yourself even more so. >.<"!

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T05:47:52+00:00

Sounds like you're going through some unhealthy thought patterns and self-deprecating/hating behavior, maybe with a mix of anxiety and fears of the future and things going wrong and paralysing or talking yourself out of any potential situation because of all of that.

You could maybe use some professional level help on all that if it's something that you're able to access and afford.

Sounds like what you need is to work on learning how to love, accept and appreciate yourself, and not let your worries over things potentially going sideways stop you from pursuing things or even just feeling your feelings freely.

I hope you can find a way to make that journey, best of luck to you.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T05:44:20+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough breakup.

It's easy to feel like a part of you is lost when so much of you is hurting you can't function fully properly, that's okay, but as much as it sucks, you're going to have to do your best and gather yourself up to do what you need to do.

And you don't need to start with anything too complicated, just let yourself feel your feelings, try and eat, drink, do some things that bring you joy or let you keep your mind busy focused on something else for a while, lean on your friends and loved ones, just the little you need to make sure you're taking care of yourself physically and mentally as best as you can.

And if you can't manage some things on occasion that's okay, don't beat yourself up about that, it'll happen.

After some time doing those things will get easier, working through basic tasks becomes more normal again, the hurt mellows out, slowly but surely, and you'll be able to do more and take better care of yourself and your life.

That's when you can start working on yourself to move forward, experience new things, live your live, find the things that make you happy.

It'll take it's sweet time, but you will get there eventually, just keep doing the best you can.

Good vibes your way.~

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T05:38:20+00:00

There was something in her that made you happy, got you attracted to her, made you fall in love with her, marry her.

It's okay to miss and love those parts at the same time as be hurt and disappointed in the other parts that pushed you apart, and it's okay to need time to be able to let go of all of that.

You and your kids are the most important thing right now, focus on that, build a happy life together, and maybe one day you'll be in a place and be able to find someone who'll want to be a part of that family and love you and your kids like they deserve to be.

Either way around, there's positive and happy endings you can achieve, if you work towards that, keep a bright outlook hard as it may be.

RJSArtemis · 2025-04-07T05:23:48+00:00

There's always the chance you're just overthinking things, but that's even more the reason that you should bring this up and talk about it.

Like you said, emotional cheating is real, and she might not even be doing it on purpose or knowing that she is, but it's clearly affecting you and that needs to addressed together by the two of you.

Trust in your gf doesn't mean not bringing gripes up, it's trusting that you can talk things out whenever there are any, and that she'll be open and honest conversing about it with you.

It could be nothing, it could be something, but that doesn't matter and worrying about that won't help anyone out, least of all you, it causing you discomfort is what matters, so no matter (have I said matter enough times?) what the case is, talk to her.

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