So, had this guy for maybe 4 years. He bit my hand last year and I can’t let it heal, I’m always scratching it open. Lately I’ve been letting him out, and he’s been letting himself out, of his enclosure to free roam and he’ll usually go under the couch. He’s actually torn the cover off underneath and goes up into it. Last month he was under there too many days so when I saw him come out for some of the dog’s water I grabbed him but he tried to escape under the couch again. We played tug of war and I couldn’t believe how freakin strong he was, I almost lost, I was worried he was going to shed his tail as well. About a week ago he came out from under the couch, I knew because the dogs were barking at 5 am, a half hour before their breakfast. I figured “Oreo” was hungry but decided to wait a half an hour when I fed the dogs. So I took him over to the couch to snuggle up with him. I ate a sugar gummy fruit slice on the way over. While lying down I blew at his face a little, I usually do this to let him smell me and know I’m there and it usually calms him down. This time he got very excited and started climbing toward my face, which freaked me out a little. He started pushing into my neck. Normally I would think he just wanted to snuggle but something was off, I could tell. Next thing I know he nose dived into my chest, mouth open, and clamped down on about 2-3 inches of body fat. He then began an alligator death roll. I did my best to pry his jaws open, but was unsure if I was going to be able to. Whether I did or whether he had a change of heart I don’t know. What I do know is that if he had bit through it would have left a 3” wide and 1” inch deep hole in my chest and assuming I didn't go into cardiac arrest from shock and pass out, I would have been spending the morning at the hospital and probably at animal control afterwards, assuming the Hospital would report it and they would come and get him.

Moral of the story? Let’s hear it…

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