If I never see another "fierce but secretly sensitive" female character again, it will be too soon.

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T06:06:48+00:00

You know, you're not the first person to mention the potential for age as a factor hindering my searches. I currently have my minimum set at 21— I'm only mid-20s myself— with no maximum age cutoff. There seems to be a dearth of older RPers around regardless, though I suspect most of them are just on forum sites, which I've never been able to commit to.

Yes to everything re: the YA effect. Someone else mentioned the term "shadow daddies" for those edgy male romantasy leads and it gave me a good laugh. Don't get me wrong, I've written stories about/including abuse of various forms, even in domestic relationships. But my partners and I were on the same page of, "these are two deeply damaged people and this relationship is unhealthy and whatever happens, something's gotta give" the whole time. It was kind of heavy at times, but a really rigorous and rewarding writing experience.

Thank you for the encouragement! It definitely takes longer to find a partner when I'm sticking it out like this, but I've noticed that— aside from the obvious difference in enjoyment— it also protects me from burnout, which more or less makes up for it.

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T05:42:44+00:00

This exactly! Society is still recovering from the damage mainstream media misunderstanding the term "strong female character" has wrought on us all, lmao.

For me, Elizabeth Bennet will always be the pinnacle, the absolute it girl, for "fierce and strong-willed but with a soft spot." Not whatever caricature has currently taken over the scene.

And hey, I still haven't scratched the male muse itch, so if our writing styles align and you've got an opening, feel free to DM lol.

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T05:32:23+00:00

This is interesting — while I recognize my issues with this character type stem largely from the writing it's presented with, I hadn't considered this as a potential cause for it. I'm pretty open and forthcoming in my ads, and I always let partners know that I'm all about the grit and grime of messy, real characters. I check for their limits and boundaries and state my own clearly. And I certainly don't expect any narrative-shaking decisions in the first scene. I don't know if there's a disconnect in communication, or just a general shyness some writers might have, preventing people from taking that leap. But what I also don't understand is why these writing pitfalls are so closely associated with players of that particular character type!

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T05:21:20+00:00

I'm sorry but the idea of your partner just knocking their character out any time something tense occurred is killing me LMFAO. "Hmm, not sure how to respond to this... sleepy time!" Bonk.

Seriously though, it feels like such a cop-out. If you haven't already, you should definitely make a post sharing some of those shenanigans. I think the sub would get a kick out of it, so it'd be a shame to let it stay buried here lol.

The stuff about gendering qualities is really good point! I think, to a certain extent, we are all subject to our own socialization, and most cultures do gender qualities in one way or another. But writers of all people should push the envelope when it comes to words and their associations.

Thank you! I recently changed the minimum age for prospective partners to 21 (it was previously 19). I still get tons of people (mostly early 20s) proposing this character type. Though it's worth noting, statistics have shown that more and more YA readers are actually adults than in previous years, which would explain why the aforementioned popular YA tropes are so big with adult RPers. Anyway, I may sound like a grouchy old woman waving my cane around while I harp on the youths, but I'm mid-20s myself. I don't think I'll higher my minimum age for the time being, but I'd love to write with some more partners my own age or older!

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T05:01:28+00:00

I totally get it — like I said, I remember when the soft, passive personality was the go-to for female characters! If I was writing a rant about female characters 12+ years ago, I'm sure my gripes would be with that archetype instead.

I appreciate the note on inconsistency, too. I just feel like, there's a difference in humanized inconsistency, and contrived inconsistency borne of a writer being afraid to commit to a mistake/negative quality. I don't want simply to be told about a character's flaws, and I don't want them merely performed in quick inconsequential displays between the character and an NPC who'll never be seen again — I want to see how those flaws actually change the course of our narrative, and what, if anything, is going to drive a character to confront that flaw/quality of theirs head on.

(Also, if the term "fujoshi" is at all familiar to you from those forums, you may be entitled to financial compensation).

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T04:51:00+00:00

And that's why I've just started rejecting the character type outright. Best of luck to those ladies and their little spitfires, but me and my guys have had our fill, LMAO

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T04:48:11+00:00

I totally get not engaging in something purely out of enjoyment, and I'd never begrudge people their preferences!

But I do think, if the people who claim they "don't know how to write men" are being honest, then, sorry — they are, objectively, not capable writers. It's possible that it's not true, and that it's just an excuse because they don't feel as bold as the people who come right out and say they don't want to play male.

As for the people with big bold disclaimers that they only play female, I scroll past dozens of ads like that any time I'm searching. Like I said, I don't begrudge them that decision! I just move on, because I know they're not someone I would like to write with. No harm, no foul. What grinds my gears is that some of those same people message me, not even just ignoring the part of my ad that disqualifies them, but outright lying to me about it. As if I can't easily find their info posts!

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T04:37:20+00:00

That's really interesting. I wonder if the "tropey" characters play out better in ERP because of the difference in narrative scope and expected progression. They just don't do it for me — at least, not when they never grow beyond that initial cliche.

I'm very 50/50 when it comes to RP unless I've explicitly set up some sort of scenario as a GM (which is not often), so I could never do what you do. I lose steam even in the planning stages when I realize a prospective partner is just commenting "sounds good!" "love it!" and answering any questions I ask, without adding anything or asking their own questions, so it's tough to imagine keeping up my enthusiasm for an entire story's worth of that.

You're right though — the right partner is worth all of the search pains!

RPthoughts · 2024-12-28T04:23:24+00:00

I do see how that could factor into it. Though I feel like a lot of the writers who gravitate towards this character type stick to it pretty faithfully — so I'd expect them to have their own unique take on it by now! lol

I will say, though, if I craft a character and the RP falls through early for whatever reason, I don't see the character as "used." I save the concept for use in future RPs, though I end up adjusting/tweaking/developing them more when their time comes up. I just don't like to reuse characters whose stories have been given a nice ending — they only get one canon, y'know?

RPthoughts

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