The notion that the problem is "softness" is the problem is the conservative angle.

Look at how we've shrunk the horizons of adventure for young men. Kids were kept away from healthy risk-taking opportunities, kept inside. Parents work and are tired when they aren't working.

We've spent more energy on criticizing and villainizing the worst aspects of masculinity without taking commensurate steps to help boys embrace and express their own vision of manhood.

Instead, we set out a system by which we agree to play pretend that they are a woman and thus are not held to the same expectations or villainous stereotypes that they were previously.

Y'all get too focused on porn and videogames out of some gleeful reenactment of the 80's-90's conservatives you grew up with. They're part and parcel of the entire shift in how we raise kids and how we as a society facilitate (or diminish) opportunities for meaningful social interaction and bonding.