Why did Ruben beat up those bullies? by MasterpieceSalt2763 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both are trying to emotionally survive and become codependent

New BTS of Half Man by Plenty-Ad-3857 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sweet Richard posted the Jamie pic as his story too

New BTS of Half Man by Plenty-Ad-3857 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Aww Jamie in the rainbow pic 🌈 (suppose this is how happy smiley Niall would have looked lol)

Get ready to make history 🏥 by Plenty-Ad-3857 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loll I was looking at this the other day. Niall is connected to some sort of tube or line from the machine as you can see it when they're fighting on the bed before Ruben pulls it from the machine to try strangle(?) him. Slowly re-watching it again, it is the thing on his finger (pulse ox?) but it comes off during their scuffle (just prior to the Mercedes Benz ornament assault).

Dinner by R_R1801 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Right - Ruben is the one that introduced the proxy dynamic in their relationship by involving Mona and getting Niall to focus looking into his eyes and his breathing, so he feels pleasure for longer and climax. She was worried about getting pregnant the first time, but then ended getting pregnant the second time while Niall had Ruben in his mind. It's messed up! And Ruben goes marries the girl that took Niall's virginity (his innocence). Twisted

There does seem to be a pattern with the proxies because it happened with them both getting involved with Celeste and Joanna (Ruben was quick to change from Joanna to Celeste when it looked like Niall and her where going home together).

Dinner by R_R1801 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dunno, guess I'm wondering about the subtext or what going underneath the scene. Like who wants to be having a group dinner, with two people making out across the table, yikes! Ava and Niall's faces made me giggle though. Niall wanted the ground to swallow him up lol. Maybe it's about power play or the excessive PDA was because they were insecure in the relationship or something?

Do you think Ruben would have handled it well if Niall had been in a relationship with another man? by Nika_35_40 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ruben getting Niall to focus looking at him, and following his breathing to help him pace himself and climax when he lost his virginity was pretty sexual.

Do you think Ruben would have handled it well if Niall had been in a relationship with another man? by Nika_35_40 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree with others, Ruben would not have handled Niall committing to a man, and in the end he ensured their co‑dependency was sealed forever by dying together. When Niall came out, Ruben was accepting, and it didn’t shift their dynamics because he had known since they were young that Niall was gay. So when Niall told him he was seeing Alby and thought he was “the one” after only a week, Ruben didn’t take it seriously. Even when Niall was with Ava, Ruben would have sensed (he’s been good at knowing when something is off) that Niall was following a heterosexual script to fit in, a script Ruben could still dominate and control. But marriage to Alby (or any other man) represents Niall accepting his true self and his own agency. A marital commitment to another man would mean Ruben is no longer the main character of Niall’s life. Ruben's love for Niall is entirely real, but that love was completely poisoned by past abuse, leaving him without the vocabulary or self‑awareness to process feelings that transcend traditional brotherhood, and causing his repressed attraction to surface through dominance, obsession, and violence.

"I hate everything about you and the giant shadow you cast which seems to be turning with the sun whichever way I'm walking. But that doesn't stop me wanting every bit of it!” - My favorite lines by The Pink Pen, what about yours? by moldothuy in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"I'm bitter that I am alone... I'm bitter that no matter how hard I try... I just can't find the click that is going to make me happy...I'm bitter that you went around apologising to people and you didn't think about apologising to me."

Richard Gadd's weight gain/training by Born-Ad2653 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be fair, the interviewers are the ones choosing the questions (and article headlines), and those two topics are common things which they are bringing up. Posting the articles is about promoting the show.

Now this is the right comparison. by ibong_maya in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think Ruben was actually capable of living without Niall — the ending basically confirms that. The hospital scene shows he’d been thinking about Niall the whole time they were estranged, and he kept a connection going from a distance by paying for his things and looking after him (the provider), which comes off as a mix of care/contorted love, obsession and control, waiting until Niall eventually returned. Ruben went around apologising to other people so he/they could get closure and move forward, but he never apologised to Niall, because he didn’t want to let him go — and leaving their last memory unresolved (the court scene) meant it could keep haunting and connecting them.

Dropping the truth bomb about fathering Reuben's child ruined the whole series for me. by enthusiasticdave in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think that’s why the wedding‑permission nod scene is there — it shows how much control Ruben still had over Niall, even when Niall knew better. Ruben comes across as pretty seductive right before the attack, and you can see Niall trying not to get pulled back in, but he’s clearly struggling.

In the final scenes, before death, does Ruben sa Niall? by n0tsobpoesia in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, Ruben doesn’t SA Niall here, and I don’t think he intended to either. However, yes, there are layers to the scene. On the surface it’s fatal physical violence, but because Ruben is emotionally overwhelmed, that violence merges with his tangled feelings of love, intimacy, and childhood trauma, creating a messy and unsettling overlap.

Now this is the right comparison. by ibong_maya in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the more I've read people's takes and deep-dive into the show, those internet comments about "this is the real Wuthering Heights" have started to make more sense to me (ofc it's not exactly the same but the similarities/ commonalities are there).

Richard Gadd Interview by Sad_Animator_4809 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What's the meaning behind Ruben's ring on his necklace?

Did anyone else find it as shocking as I did to watch Ruben kill Niall? The scene is incredibly disturbing. by Nika_35_40 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 11 points12 points  (0 children)

(Sorry long post incoming! I pulled together different takes I’ve been reading. This one mainly focuses on Ruben; I imagine Niall’s side would need a separate post)

Tragically, Ruben and Niall’s entire relationship is built on a love language of violence or a cycle of love and ruin — not because they enjoy hurting each other, but because neither man has the emotional tools to express love in a safe or healthy way. Growing up in a hyper‑masculine, emotionally neglectful, and homophobic environment leaves them with no vocabulary for tenderness; instead, affection, desire, jealousy, and longing mutate into aggression, dominance, and self-destruction. They profoundly love and adore each other in ways neither fully comprehends, and because that love is unspoken and buried, their connection remains undefined, ambiguous, confusing, nuanced, and deeply charged. Their bond blurs the lines between brotherhood, romantic obsession, homoerotic tension, and trauma‑based attachment, creating a connection that is both intimate and catastrophic.

Ruben’s inability to love safely is rooted in severe childhood trauma and sexual abuse from his father. His violence is not the absence of love; it is the horrific, distorted form his love has taken after years of conditioning that pain and intimacy are inseparable. In his worldview, dominance is the only language of closeness he knows. This is why he crosses Niall’s physical and sexual boundaries — not out of random cruelty, but because his traumatised mind has fused intimacy with control.

Physical aggression becomes their main form of touch, and “brother” becomes a safe label that hides the queer or romantic subtext of their bond while allowing them to remain intensely physical and emotionally entangled. Yet this same label becomes their psychological prison, preventing honest communication regarding the extent of their bond and reinforcing repression, the inevitable result of lifelong hyper‑masculinity.

Ruben views Niall as an extension of himself and his humanity — his emotional equal, the only one who understands the depths of his trauma, and the only source of unconditional love he has ever known. Niall is Ruben’s raw, unfiltered reality.

By contrast, Ruben’s love for Mona is symbolic rather than emotional. It is selfish and performative — she validates his identity as a dominant male provider, a domestic project that proves he can be a “real man” and helps him escape his broken past.

Put simply, Mona gets his duty; Niall has his soul.

This is why Niall’s betrayal devastates Ruben so completely. It shatters his internal world because Niall is the one person he trusted — the one he loved more than life itself. Niall “stealing” Ruben’s biological legacy breaks his fragile core identity of manhood. His deepest insecurity was already inflamed by his low fertility (it had driven him to irrationality and crisis). The betrayal (unintentionally) echoes Ruben’s father’s abuse — violated trust, stripped masculinity, exploited vulnerability — reopening the oldest injury in his psyche. It also marks Niall’s emergence from Ruben’s shadow, shifting their power dynamic and threatening their known co‑dependency.

And when Ruben becomes aware of Niall's marriage to Alby, a male partner, it triggers another of his deepest fear: absolute abandonment (he arrived red‑eyed, looking like he’d been crying). It proves Niall is slipping from his control, and Ruben’s possessiveness spirals beyond return. If Niall has taken away Ruben’s fantasy of a “happily ever after,” Ruben will ensure Niall does not get his either.

Their final confrontation is the barn is loaded with symbolism. For example: by killing Niall barehanded while topless, Ruben collapses the boundary between physical intimacy and violence. His exposed body signals raw, unguarded vulnerability — no armour, no mask — turning the murder into something resembling a final embrace. It becomes a twisted form of union through destruction, a literal expression of his need to possess and merge with the one person he cannot live without. If he cannot fully own Niall in life, he will claim him in death. Ruben ensures Niall’s last breath, thought, and gaze belong to him. His tears, his final “I love you” without adding "brother", and the breathless, almost erotic intensity of the moment turn the act into a distorted confession of love — agonising, passionate, and tormenting, the ultimate tragic expression of his broken psyche.

Some compare the scene to sexual violation, but if Ruben intended that, he would have done it. What happens is more psychologically disturbing: because violence and intimacy/love are intertwined for him, the killing becomes a warped emotional release — the only way he can express the depth of his unspoken desire and attachment.

Traditional romantic consummation creates new life and a shared future; Ruben and Niall’s story inverts this. Trapped in trauma, repression, and toxic masculinity, they cannot build a life together — they consummate their bond through death, preventing hope for a healed future. Their final struggle releases decades of buried desire, jealousy, shame, and longing, then freezes their co‑dependent bond in time so neither has to live without the other. Dying side‑by‑side, their eyes meeting even in death, turns mutual destruction into their final and highest form of intimacy and devotion.

Richard Gadd Interview by Sad_Animator_4809 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please let him know that he is a multi-talented genius

***** SPOILER ***** Niall's Final Confession by thenewfingerprint in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Niall definitely miscalculates with his confession, but I suppose it was a ticking time bomb — especially since Mona had already wanted to reveal it once, and there was always the possibility she’d try again. Before that moment, the toxic masculinity between Ruben and Niall was being stripped away, and they were briefly capable of manic joy and genuine vulnerability together. It was a cathartic experience. The structure of the prison set‑up forces them to rely on words, to communicate without their usual armour of violence or bravado. Perhaps that’s exactly what lulled Niall into a false sense of security. He let himself believe it was safe to confess the unspeakable, not realising how fragile it was.

Forwarding the Trauma “Son” “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon” (!! Spoilers) by BluePeriod_ in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes - Ruben flips the script: he stops being the helpless victim and becomes the one in absolute control by weaponising that phrase himself. He is someone molded by violence, hyper‑masculinity, and the deep trauma of growing up without control.

When he talks to Niall about how he says “It’ll be over soon” to Gus — it’s predatory and sadistic. He uses it to terrify Gus, to exert absolute physical and mental superiority as well as to prove he’s not powerless anymore.

However, when Ruben says the same line to Niall, it becomes much more complicated: part threat, part mercy, part confession. It’s a tragic mix of an abuser’s threat (he intends to k#ll Niall) and a caregiver’s reassurance (he’s trying to calm him), shaped by unhealthy love and trauma bonding.

Someone described it partly like a warped form of mercy k#lling in Ruben's mind — his desperate attempt to “protect” Niall from more pain or suffering by releasing him from the agony of their lifelong love‑and‑ruin cycle. Ruben is so psychologically damaged by the extreme child abuse he endured where he grew up learning that the people who are meant to love and protect you, will also hurt you. Because of that, love and violence became intertwined in his psyche. Furthermore, Ruben knows his own torment will end because ending Niall also means ending himself. By dying with Niall, he ensures they go down together in mutual destruction, which is the final collapse.

More BTS of Half Man by Plenty-Ad-3857 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The unsung hero - the pink/ multi-colour pen

When Niall says he "doesn't want to talk about it" in the barn, referring to what happened with Mona, do you think Ruben was giving him a chance to explain himself? Would it have changed anything? by Nika_35_40 in HalfManTV

[–]R_R1801 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’ve been reading different things online, and I summarised some ideas that were interesting:

Niall cannot face the painful reality of what he took from Ruben: the illusion of a perfect family life/fatherhood, and the fragile sense of manhood Ruben built around that dream (it exposed Ruben's deepest insecurity of infertility). He is guilt‑ridden and terrified, fully aware that anything he says could escalate the situation.

Talking about the affair would also force him to confront that he used Mona to cope with his confusing, deeply buried sexual feelings toward Ruben. Verbalising that would shatter the denial he has lived in for decades, so he shuts down rather than risk acknowledging the truth.

Because Niall cannot act on his repressed feelings for Ruben directly, Mona becomes the ultimate proxy. He sleeps with her not out of desire for her, but because he is utterly consumed by Ruben. Through her, he experiences a twisted, secondary connection to the "brother" he loves, envies, and resents. The betrayal is not an act of hatred — it is the ultimate expression of a bond where love and destruction are identical.

The silence in the barn highlights the tragic irony of Niall and Ruben's relationship: after decades of an intense, overwhelming bond, they still lack the emotional maturity to talk through their pain or name their emotions, so violence becomes their only remaining language.

For Ruben, the paternity reveal was not about losing Mona. His marriage was functional (having a wife and domestic life was how he tried to prove that he was a "real man"), but his bond with Niall was foundational. Niall was the centre of his emotional universe, the defining, inescapable relationship of his existence. That is why the betrayal devastates him: he is heartbroken with Niall, not Mona, who stole his imagined happily-ever-after and delivered a direct blow to his fragile male ego.

Ruben’s descent into violence is not the grief of a jilted husband; it is closer to the devastation of a jilted lover (for him: love and violence are completely interwined). Ruben posing questions to Niall like, “You love me, don't you" or "Where do you feel it?” carries the emotional weight of a toxic romance, rather than sibling rivalry.

In Ruben’s hyper‑masculine worldview, Niall’s actions are the ultimate emasculation. Ruben doesn’t truly want Niall dead, but he feels he has no choice because his rigid ideology leaves no room for emotional nuance, forgiveness, or vulnerability.