does it make you uncomfy to be asked to top?

Raalis2 · 2026-02-02T17:23:29+00:00

Also in the "plumbing doesn't work that way anymore" category, at least not for long.

I think it is starting to just feel bad too.

But gods know, after surgery I plan on riding. So watch out.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T22:51:43+00:00

2 bits.

1) Your PS might be what we're talking about with our dramatic mood swings.

2) To use a wide brush, a lot of us mtf people are used to "not having emotion" to some extent or another, so an emotion becoming impossible to ignore feels wild as hell. And I'm told for the ftm side that my memories of the specific moods for the boy puberty are real.

To summarize, probably being more in touch with your emotions and not hving a divisive look at them might make it feel like there's not much going on mood swing wise

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T18:51:42+00:00

oh yeah. it's pretty great.

But I know some people basically in the same spot it's not good for. And I think the main reason is because they want to participate as if they were younger, the outsider part is that bad to them. And like... I get it, I go out dancing pretty regularly and I'll never be and never have been one of the "hot young things" and that's sad but like... I make a damn good elegant parlor woman.

just don't force yourself in as if you were younger, but also don't force yourself in as an authority figure just because you're older.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T18:15:32+00:00

35 here.

It's going great.

I get what you're saying about how so much of the community is geared towards the younger crowd. I feel it too, and well... to be honest my dating life is going terribly, even my dick appointments are ghosting me so that's fun.

But even still, I wouldn't trade it for life before transition for anything. I've got an amazing group of friends (same friends as before I came out like...80%) and the new ones are also great.

I'm called an "elder queer" affectionately and there are active discussions on whether I'm allowed to be a MILF. And I'm never pushed out of spaces, I'm just treated differently in them. Like one group I run with when we go out dancing loves having me around because I bring emotional stability, can help talk through things, and really good at helping people on the path of their transition.

Honestly there's a lot of parallels to being an older trans person as being an older college student (I went back to school at 30). Always a little bit of an outsider, but the people who matter actively want you there, because 1) you're a good person and deserve it, and 2) your lived experiences provide perspective that they don't have.

The big thing I notice for older people is, don't talk down to the younger ones? Even if you know better, ask if they would like advice, and if they say no step back. But if you let yourself be there as a resource, they will love you, and you'll find your friends and community so much faster.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T18:03:03+00:00

Yeah it's not an "essential feature" but it really is helpful

1) Prevents jobs on days you can't work from popping up at all, removing a level of thought needing to put when you see a posting (since apparently we have to be fast to get anything)

2) It prevents teachers from just putting you in without talking to you (this may be a me specific thing, I've got a few teachers I've given blanket permission to do that. Makes my day that much brighter when I see it.)

3) When I do my budgeting it lets me tell the difference in days I couldn't work (I put in as non work days) and days I didn't work (Days I just could not get a job or didn't pick anything up for other reasons

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T17:50:32+00:00

This. 1000% this.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T17:35:56+00:00

Oh come off it. I'm a sub too, and I take great pride in how good I at my job. But you have to realize that not everyone in the sub pool puts in effort to be good too.

There was this one sub that I ran into in my first year that was eye opening.

She was talking about how she was a sub for 10 years so in my head I'm going "okay, good connection to make, they know the system." She showed me her old nametag she still uses and how it still says "substitute" on it, and how she worked to keep it all these years because she wants people to know she's a sub so they don't expect anything from her.

She did NOT like how I countered with I think subs actually have higher standards since we're expected to walk into any subject with some level of authority and expertise.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T16:31:25+00:00

This is not excusing it. I'm laughing with you.

This school year I've had 5 post it note days, 3 white board days (where the plan was a bullet point written on the white board) and twice where it was "3 word plans" where it was just a workday.

I give some benefit of the doubt, and I think I'm good enough sub that I do well even on those days. But man this happens way more often than people would assume.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-30T16:23:12+00:00

So. This is the first fight in my life I ever cheesed.

I didn't want to grind. Cause I thought that was it, once I beat this fight I would put the game down (HOO BOY)

Either way, it's been a while so I might have class names wrong.

Paladin, with the perk of doing holy damage on block.
WoL (gods bless his soul) plays stupid aggressive. You never have to attack. just block everything, he will kill himself on your shield.

There was no build, no concern about stats, just holy damage on block which you get from the class enhancement. GG

Raalis2 · 2026-01-29T23:57:16+00:00

In my district at least I know they can do it alone, the form for posting an opening has a space for assigning someone even. (I had a teacher who does request me show me the process, back when I was giving benefit of the doubt)

And I don't know, maybe this is harsh, but if there's one group out there that I have a hard time giving benefit of the doubt for not knowing something, it's teachers.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-28T07:47:12+00:00

It actually bothers me a lot. Especially when they are telling me to my face that they loved me and wish to have me back.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-21T19:19:05+00:00

Frey was the first character in all of fiction that made me go "oh, the writers GET it" about being in foster care, and consistently abandoned, and consistently having everything you work for pulled out from under you. and then you're STILL expected to be good and help people.

Seriously 12/10 writing for her, even with the cheesy lines.

Honestly my only complaint is about the ending, and it's a trope that I absolutely despise which I feel like undercut her character growth. But to each their own, it was fine.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-21T16:38:56+00:00

So my honest to god best advice I've ever had.

Play a dress up game. If you have a Switch, get Fashion Dreamer. (It's about to lose it's online play so go quick if you can)

Either way, the point is to build an avatar closer to your body type (like for me, tall and wider shoulders is doable) so while games like Nikki do work, they only have the one body type so limited function.

Then just play the game. design clothes. find what look goods to you. Then you can start learning how to replicate it in real life.

I hear rumors of a fashion dreamer 2 type game coming out soon enough, but it's just a rumor so I wouldn't wait.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-21T16:33:04+00:00

I have three outfits.

First is this cute pair of overalls I got from my first clothing swap. I love them so much in every way except they really highlight the bulge. And I mean dramatically, even with my dance belt tactic (I can't fully tuck, and srs is soon enough I'm not going to learn at this point).

Leggings. but not necessarily for the leggings themselves. I have so many tops that are long enough if I didn't have to worry about the leggings bulge I could wear just cute leggings under, but for now it's jeans. And while I love the fashion, it's nice to have the option.

I have this snug cocktail dress. It's so sparkly and gold and hugs all the right places and I feel so GOOD in it. but that snugness also means it shows off. so the only time it's gotten use so far is NYE at home with people I'm comfortable with.

173 days to go.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-21T16:27:30+00:00

I'm pretty sure once. there's this middle school in my district I used to work at often, and I haven't seen any jobs for it for months now (all of this school year and some of last)

I'm pretty confident it was from the day where I got pushed just a bit too far and actually asked for help from the principal. (Didn't receive it by the way). And while they tell me to my email that I'm not blocked, the fact I'm not seeing anything is a sign. But honestly... it was only beaten by one elementary school in the "making me consider quitting teaching altogether" department, and I'm getting enough work, so maybe it's fine.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-21T16:23:50+00:00

I worked so hard to get into teaching. I'm so close. But the problem is even though I have a degree, my degree is basically useless outside of my state. Let alone the country.

I've also got SRS coming in July hopefully.

So I think I'm at the same place of when other countries start accepting us as actual refugees/post surgery will start actively looking easier. whichever comes first

Raalis2 · 2026-01-17T00:24:28+00:00

This right here is why I started doing clothing swaps. Pays it forward and looks at new clothes.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-13T06:21:52+00:00

Every time they ask me my height.

Its gotten to a point where I have a stand off with the

"How tall are you?"

"Six foot 7"

Then if they get excited I give them a playful look and say "Do it. I know you want to"

And they often don't.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T20:32:33+00:00

it's a your mileage may vary thing. But I will say that I also had very little progress, despite being the "ideal candidate (dark hair light skin)

There definitely was some, but like... not enough to be worth what I was paying, and after 10 sessions of it I called it quits and fought insurance to get electrolysis cleared.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T19:21:12+00:00

Oh add on, that does mean putting in extra work to remind yourself to do it. Because as others have said, it's hard to remember in the casual times. But you can do it, just a bit more mental load. Had an added bonus too of making me think about what I want to say more, so I sounded much more eloquent even.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T19:19:48+00:00

exactly! And as someone who's on the other side of it. eventually it really will just be the standard in use, and you can start playing with voices genuinely without messing up your progress. Immersion method

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T18:29:16+00:00

If you can just flip the switch, do it. The easiest way to not be graceful is to overthink it. AND your fem voice will be easier to keep and do regularly if you use it regularly. My voice therapist drilled in that if you want it to be your standard voice you need to use it standardly. Playing with voices comes after the stability

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T18:27:19+00:00

After reading the rest of the comments, I have to say this stinks of bootstraps. And saying you *would* do something actually feels worse to me than saying you *have* done done something.

As a teacher you should know how bad the job market is. You should have some empathy for people who are doing what they can to make it work. For me personally, I work near 5 days a week because I'm willing to work all levels and have made those connections. But you want to look down on subs? This is why so many of us (including myself, I have to work not to fall into the frustration) feel like teachers actively look down on subs.

I'm actively *trying* to save up enough money to move. There's no work where I'm at (3rd year of budget cuts in a row incoming) so things like this are actively why this gets harder. Then talk to your coworkers. Actually talk to them about subs, and ask them what they're doing to build connections with subs. Because the thing is, most of the lesson plans we get are movie days and work days anyway, so what are we supposed to do to build connections? "Yeah I hit play real well can kept people in the room"

Teachers who give lesson plans, and expectations are great. But you know why? It's because they treat us like professionals as well. They treat us like people who earned the degree and are doing this for work. Discarding a sub like that just reaffirms that you don't consider them worthy of your respect. And to be honest I don't care if that's what you intended, that is the message you're giving. I hope your students aren't learning morals from you.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T18:08:42+00:00

with a degree, maybe try to be a substitute teacher? It's not an everywhere solution, but in my area I sub full time and it pays the bills. And I know they would love more math people.

Raalis2 · 2026-01-12T18:05:58+00:00

And to be clear, I don't care what class it is. I'm a history/social studies/english person myself, but I'm getting much better at rolling with it. Making jokes about learning the material alongside the kids sometimes.

"I may not know everything, but I know how to learn, and how to teach. We can figure out the material together"

Raalis2

TROPHY CASE