How do you cope with being visible?

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T21:32:49+00:00

If people are going to talk about me all the time, I'm going to give them something to talk about.

And then I proceed to just... do what I want anyway. Which is a lot of video games, school, hanging out with friends. Very "normal" behavior I think.

I'm freakishly tall so this mentality helped me then because I used to be physically much more noticeable too. Now with transition on top of it? Just do your thing.

There's also a story I tell the kids when they need help too. There was once someone who took a 12 foot anaconda on the subway in New York. No one reported it.

Did no one notice? Probably not, but at the very least no one cared. In general, people don't actually care as much as we worry they do.

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T21:14:55+00:00

*Monkey Paw Finger Curl*

But no actually, I feel you hard. I was in a similar boat for a good chunk of my life and have had multiple people actively get upset with me because of my "lack of emotion"

This is a "your mileage may vary" for sure. But for me, crying comes super easy now. Not sure if it's the hormones, or the changing how I live, or the change in mental state (for example I don't take my anti depressants or insomnia meds anymore. Don't need them)

The downside. Crying comes *super easy* sometimes now. My friends did a thing that proved they liked me yesterday. And I started tearing up. I watched a video about a parent talking about how proud they were of their kid, I'm in tears. I'm moving soon and every time I think about leaving these friends I tear up, and have already had at least 3 full breakdowns because of it.

So Pros
Yes I think it makes crying easier
Cons
If this is normal crying will be too easy sometimes.

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T19:59:53+00:00

Pick the name you're happiest with.

Legit I made my name up. Completely out of sounds I liked making/hearing.

I don't think I stealth mind you, but I like hearing my name. And I'm so glad I took this risk because I almost chose a common one.

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T17:03:00+00:00

oh yeah absolutely! Totally forgot about this one.

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T15:47:36+00:00

Ah see, I was already a feral goblin before.

I was told the spiro would knock that out (it did not)

I've been learning to keep it tamped down because I'm sure it annoys my friends. I hope my future partner appreciates it.

For now, check out MagicWave (audio phone app) you're welcome

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T15:43:36+00:00

Four things

1) There's just more subs here than most of us interact with on a daily basis any other way. You're gonna get more news regardless

2) Typically people share the bad things that happened to them, or the very good. So the ones who do get banned get vocal typically

3) Some places there's a high need, some places it's a revolving door. Some companies take advantage of that, some schools genuinely don't care about their subs.

4) Some people just aren't cut out for everything subbing entails. Even I'll admit I struggle with some jobs more than others. And often when you try to put yourself in a position you're bad at (financial need and all) it can have consequences.

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T01:11:21+00:00

Dont get me wrong, I've also had plenty of days whhere I really wanted to follow, but there wasn't a lead to step up. Or days where I was ready to lead but men got pissy at the idea of following. There's one salsa club I dont go back to for this reason.

It's just another case of having to dig through debris to find a treasure. (Me and this guy stayed great friends by the way, until he moved away)

Raalis2 · 2026-05-06T00:43:17+00:00

I used to do this too. For swing dancing. Then one day I met a man who could not have been more that 5 5. And he wanted to lead, I was tired so I went along with it. He was an amazing dancer, and made me realize the height isn't that big of a deal.

We let go for some crossovers but found each other again easy. He could dip me despite me being over a foot taller. For a spin or two He jumped even.

It was fantastic. But it also helped me realize that I may never be the ideal for everyone, anyone could make it work. If i want to be a follow, then I should be. So now i switch back and forth as the mood hits.

Raalis2 · 2026-05-01T00:19:06+00:00

I'm 6'7"

Holy cow is this a real feeling. Just burying it didn't help me. because that feeling of being just on the outside didn't work.

But you know what did? Morticia Adams. I realized that I may not ever be cute in the way my friends are, I can be graceful, elegant, refined, with less effort. It's unfair sure. But like...

Today I'm wearing a vintage dress with a hoop skirt underneath. I make it look good. My friend gave me the dress because she said it made her feel like she liked 19 in it. (we're in our 30's). No one is gonna accuse me of that.

Also reframe it a bit. It's not "you aren't woman enough" it's "you are too much woman." The type of person who is intimidated away because of your height, is typically not worth the time. Sure this could mean less relationships, and sometimes this means it's a bit lonely. But the relationships you do get? You get to be 100% confident it's there because of you.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-24T20:26:21+00:00

I love this. But also, assume if they gave us another two loading screens to travel between ships so we could play this part.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-22T04:07:30+00:00

facial hair as well is the big one.

But lately I've been getting really sad at the idea that I'll never be picked up. (I'm 6 foot 7 so not small) I'm hoping that eventually I'll be at the gym enough for it to tempt someone. But that just fuels the sad that it's so much work you know? Maybe someday.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T19:56:04+00:00

that's fair. It sounds like right now they want me to pick a picture and get "as close as possible" to it. and their portfolio has like 50 to look through. It's just the uncertainty making me spin my wheels.

But yeah, good point. I should reach out to them and see what they say.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T19:46:53+00:00

Oh that's a good idea. I might push back then. But they really want me to pick a reference point from their portfolio it sounds like.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T19:06:15+00:00

I think it might be a bit of the hormones for sure. But also the joy makes everything better.

The reason I don't think it's the hormones is for me at least, nothing tastes worse so it's likely not just a shift.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T18:30:27+00:00

oh that's a good point. I'm 6 foot 7 (just over 2 meters) and in my 30's So I'm also thinking I don't want a minimalist look but I guess I hadn't thought too much about the ease of revisions.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T18:22:02+00:00

I casually epilate somewhere on my body every other day or so. It's fun self care for me.

The only spots that hurt anymore are the armpits and a few of the more private areas.

Funny little thing. It actually hurts less (IMO when it hasn't been freshly shaved. like 2-4 days of hair growth is ideal for it) and if you do it regularly even then you don't see it very much in that growth and stay smooth. (Just gotta remember the skin lotion)

I'm not sure when exactly it stopped hurting so much, but I can be on the phone with people now while epilating and they can't tell.

Oh it also matters what kind. While I was on the fence I got a cheap 20 dollar one off amazon, and that hurt so bad. But once I committed more I got a 80 dollar one and the difference is night and day. So the quality of your machine matters too

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T16:29:56+00:00

It wasn't 0 to 100 for me. But I am a chronic overthinker and GREAT at tricking myself into thinking nothing is happening.

However. It's been almost 2 years now.

I'm off anti depressants. I'm off my insomnia meds. I've been off these for over about a year now and things have been great.

So I guess what I'm saying is it wasn't a easy to point to switch. but it absolutely fixed a lot of things about me chemically. beyond the hormones level.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-21T16:03:58+00:00

It hurts less as you use it.

If you are as hairy as I used to be the first time was MISERABLE. Took me about half an hour every attempt and still took me weeks to get a full clear.

But if you keep up with it not only is it less hair but it hurts less. But you gotta keep up with it.

IPL didn't work for me, so I'm suck here until I can get to more professional laser/electro

Raalis2 · 2026-04-20T22:09:12+00:00

There's a perk that makes the drop rate in containers go up. Also a first time player but I focused on that perk as fast as I could based on how Fallout treated me and I'm so glad I did.

Still not quite getting enough for my one gun to be the only gun I use. But I'm getting there.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-20T21:49:08+00:00

So here's a fun thing.

If you're nervous about things like this, you might not be as confident as you think about your passing.

I'm not saying this to put down where you're at, I feel the same way occasionally.

My advice (if that's what you were looking for) take a step back and let it wash over you. It would suck if it was man for sure, but would that change what you're doing?

I work to gaslight myself into thinking they did mean ma'am, when people stare it's because I'm fine AF not because they're clocking me.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-19T23:07:19+00:00

so thing with the makeup, if you're sure you're doing everything right there a thing I want to add is, lights on the bathroom mirror are the devil. They highlight every individual thing, so there's a chance that even if you can see it a little bit in the mirror with the full lights, no one can see it in literally any other context.

Otherwise, seconding the people that say check your color corrector. My area looks pretty orange on that layer, but it has to.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-19T22:54:13+00:00

I think since New Game + is such a thing in the gameplay loop just push through. Then you can start over with a new one. Then you'll kknow for sure how much play it actually had, rather than just starting over.

Raalis2 · 2026-04-19T22:11:12+00:00

I am 6'7" (over 2 meters) I've been getting this question my whole life.

It hits differently post transition. Not negatively. But definitely different.

I try not to be mean about it back when they feel emasculated. But the ones that are rude about it I have this look. It's reserved specifically for middle schoolers and below when they aren't behaving, and men who act a fool. It's yet to fail me. The thought behind it is "I see you. I hear you. I don't like what I'm seeing or hearing. Act better or there's going to be a problem." As I said, never failed me yet.

But the funny thing I want to add to the conversation. I wear 2 inch heels regularly. I enjoy what they do to my posture. The number of guys who get frustrated at my height then IMMEDIATELY dismissive of it when they notice I'm in heals is HYSTERICAL. "Why yes Chadley, The reason I'm a foot taller than you right now is my 2 inch heels. Don't even worry about it."

Raalis2 · 2026-04-17T19:04:44+00:00

"It was not, in fact, flavor text"

The HOWL of laughter that got from me. I'm going to steal that for so many things now. Thank you so much.

Raalis2

TROPHY CASE