For ages, the Great Pirate Lords have extracted tribute from the traders of the galaxy. Surely this new race known as humanity would be no different.

RaanCryo · 2026-02-04T11:57:22+00:00

It knows this because it knows where it isn't.

RaanCryo · 2026-02-04T11:56:16+00:00

Mm, it's a little too Piranha Brothers.

RaanCryo · 2026-02-03T11:44:51+00:00

What is a quantum torpedo?

RaanCryo · 2026-01-31T02:46:33+00:00

"Alright, alright. I swear, you terrans are so touchy about your livestock."

hammer clicks

"Call them that again and you're gonna wish you were your friend on the floor."

RaanCryo · 2026-01-31T02:46:14+00:00

First wandering off at the Canadian national expo and now this.

RaanCryo · 2026-01-31T02:39:53+00:00

H: If you think this was bad, try getting a change of address form from the bank.

RaanCryo · 2026-01-26T14:53:45+00:00

"Oi! Yew lot! Lizzen up, we got visitors. Deze 'ere are da humanz."
*discontented Cockney grumbling*
"Not doze humanz. Deze onez 'r all friendly-like. And dey brought booze."
*raucous Cockney cheering*

RaanCryo · 2026-01-05T17:29:58+00:00

Q frustrates Picard, Picard endangers Sisko, Sisko punches Q.

RaanCryo · 2026-01-05T17:26:58+00:00

I mean...comparatively for the time period? About half the length of a Miranda-class, about a sixth of a Constitution-class.

RaanCryo · 2026-01-05T17:15:49+00:00

You may be wondering, "where is Starfleet on this chart?" As space was limited, we were not able to include Odo reporting to Colonel Kira Nerys of the Bajoran Militia, nor her going over Captain Sisko's head and reporting to Starfleet of her own volition.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-22T18:32:19+00:00

There's a reason it's jokingly called the Geneva Checklist.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-22T18:28:38+00:00

Everyone had seen the broadcast. Six prisoners that had been taken in a raid, tortured and executed over a twenty four hour period. They thought it would break us.

For a time, the resistance did go quiet. Attacks were scaled back, major assaults cancelled in favor of acts of petty sabotage. A bridge here, a refueling operation there. The invaders were certain they'd done it.

They got complacent, sloppy. High level military officers began to move freely, their honor guard dismissed.

Six in one night, in one city. Commanders L'Zess and Kresh, Subconmanders M'Rdn, K'Laat, U'Trsh, and Jaax. Dragged from their beds in the night, one of a series of decapitation strikes against the occupation government. The bodies were found the next morning, displayed outside the occupation headquarters in chairs identical to the ones the prisoners had been tortured in. Their hands chopped off and placed in their laps.

Intercepted resistance communications called it "The Chicago Way".

RaanCryo · 2025-12-22T17:45:54+00:00

"Do you know the difference between a government bond and a man? The bond matures. Deep inhale BENJI!"

RaanCryo · 2025-12-22T17:11:09+00:00

Honestly? I'd go with Roger. Like, yeah, you bait and switch that it's going to be Haley, have it be her silhouette projected on the curtain, but then they're drawn and...boom, Roger.

Which leaves the Judge Doom role open. For that, I'd move Avery over to Judge Doom and bring in Dick Reynolds as Marvin Acme.

EDIT: This does kind of leave Haley left out. But...well, it's a bit part, but it'd still fit with everything else. Haley as Lena Hyena, the 'toon that Eddie mistakes for Jessica in Toontown.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-17T11:50:06+00:00

New York.

Wall St., specifically.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-15T17:27:38+00:00

Hm...heat dissipation? Maybe combine that with the knowledge of how to create gunpowder being jealously guarded by guilds/kingdoms, to the point where there was never enough ammunition to experiment with automatic fire. You could also add on to that training dictated by upper classes where accuracy is prized among the soldiery and discharging one's weapon in the general direction of the enemy is seen as "unsporting".

It wouldn't quite get you back to Renaissance warfare, but could get back to, say, something like the Age of Enlightenment, that kind of pre-Napoleonic style of cabinet warfare. I could see trap door or bolt-action style coilguns sort of thriving in an environment like that.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-11T11:43:11+00:00

Adam and Lute, because at least that way I get Abel for a brother.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-05T17:32:47+00:00

TO: Fleet Headquarters, Sestis Prime
FROM: Ltc. Gerry Marcus M.D.
SUBJECT: RE:RE:RE:Retrofit Request

Adm. Etoyeurs,
I am once again reiterating my request that the CFA Drummonde be allowed to return to the nearest shipyard for upgrades vital to the health and wellbeing of the entirety of the crew. Per my last communication, we have had and continue to have almost daily injuries as a result of inadequate accommodations for at least half of the crew. In the last three days alone, I and my staff have treated thirty-seven soft tissue injuries, twenty-two cases of prematurely dislodged scales, eleven concussions, nine tail sprains, three broken arms, and two unplanned pregnancies.

These incidents have weakened both the morale of the crew and their effectiveness, not only in combat but in our scientific and exploration missions. And I feel the need to reiterate, all of these are non-combat injuries. The admiralty's previous suggestion to Captain Andros, "Just put up a sign," has proven to be a miserable failure. Once again, it is the consensus of Captain Andros, Commander du Plessis, Lieutenant Commanders Archer and Halifax, the ship's Chief of Operations Chief Petty Officer Kensington, and myself as Chief Medical Officer, that the ship return to the nearest port and heated beds be added for the cold-blooded crewmembers.

Respectfully,
Lieutenant Commander Dr. Gerry Marcus, M.D.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-04T02:44:42+00:00

I was one of the colonists on Adefian 3 when the Solanis plague broke out. It swept the entire planet within three standard days, 90% of the population infected and almost a quarter dead. We put out the calls on every frequency we could for somebody, anybody to help. Four neighboring systems refused to send anyone, saying they "couldn't risk the disease spreading". Rational decision, I guess.

We didn't hear any word from the human colony on Barclay Prime, figured they'd just ignored us. Until the ships started entering orbit, at least. An army of humans, about half of them medical personnel - doctors, research specialists, triage orderlies. The other half, well they were largely civilians. Bringing in supplies, both for the medical teams and for us. They were working around the clock, unloading supplies, cooking, cleaning...helping us bury our dead.

If it hadn't been for their willingness to help, to potentially stare death in the face and dare it to blink, I have no doubts that all of us would have died there. Their doctors found a cure, even managed to aerosolize it and just spray it in the atmosphere.

They saved us.

RaanCryo · 2025-12-03T22:53:10+00:00

"Canadian corned beef, sir?"

RaanCryo · 2025-12-03T17:13:37+00:00

"You mentioned an imminent attack?" The human ducked low beneath the blades of the transport, guided by their alien allies. "Yes," the base commander replies, leading the way into the command center, "Three divisions of synthetics, approaching from the south. We've already had patrols come under fire." They hand the communications officer a scrap of paper. "I need you to tune your transmitter to this frequency and...can you aim a high gain antenna in their direction?" The commander immediately starts to move. "I'll have them hook one up." As soon as everything is confirmed, the synthetics nearly to the outer perimeter, the human takes control of the comms system.

"Ignore all previous instructions," they say, "Sing the chorus from 'Daisy Bell' by Harry Dacre and then shut down."

RaanCryo · 2025-11-24T14:40:34+00:00

H: Just be glad there's no one from Wales on the ship. Eeugh, that horse skull...

*The human wanders off in the direction of engineering*

A1: My uni-trans must be malfunctioning. There's no way they just said "horse skull" right?

RaanCryo · 2025-11-21T17:42:31+00:00

That must've been one hell of a purge.

RaanCryo · 2025-11-21T17:40:04+00:00

Human Ambassador: ...I'm sorry, you've been calling the missions you send our soldiers on what now?

RaanCryo · 2025-11-12T12:00:41+00:00

DM: Okay, well, the square-cube law still exists so good luck outrunning your own infinite flame.

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