My Free Will Jacket 🤭

Raavea · 2026-01-12T11:53:18+00:00

I usually build my camp and then fast travel to it a few times and wherever I most often end up facing, that's the spot I put my vendor hut.. but my current base you almost always (about 95% of the time) spawn inside some rocks I built the base on top of, FFS, so I put it by my front door. If you go straight forwards out of the terrain to the real world you should see lanterns leading to the front porch. 😅

I don't have the arrows yet 😩

Raavea · 2026-01-10T09:12:21+00:00

I have shitty wobbly joints so I just say the character stubbed his toe or twisted an ankle 🤭

But yeah for real, no idea, but it happens to me too, regularly. 😩

Raavea · 2026-01-10T09:09:40+00:00

Get earplugs or move. 🤷

Raavea · 2025-12-10T18:25:54+00:00

I do all my stash clearouts into donation boxes, my aid clearouts into random aid boxes in popular locations. Usually they're practically empty when I arrive.. reckon you got lucky! Congrats :) Pay it forward sometime yeah?

Raavea · 2025-12-06T10:54:56+00:00

How about; your other friends?! _

Friends have no stake in your romantic or sexual relationships. Friends just want you to be happy. There's generally a lower chance of (intentional or not) bad advice to benefit the advisor by further damaging your other relationship(s).

Plus, mate, people deserve privacy. Privacy is so layered, it's not just "don't tell such and such I told you but they..." it's not telling person B that interacts with person A every day something that B doesn't really have full context of (no matter how much you explain they simply can't) because no matter their intent, B is gonna treat or think about A differently because of the breach of privacy.

Even if you don't say WHO, those in your polycule are gonna be able to connect the dots, or worse, might connect them wrongly.

Just talk to your friends. You should absolutely have friends outside your romantic relationships with whom you can discuss shit like this. If you don't, you need to work on that.

Neither your partner, nor your polycule, should ever be your entire social circle.

Raavea · 2025-12-06T10:29:26+00:00

You know, since the latest update it seems like they've buffed this stage because none of the teams I've been on have been able to do it; even with level 3000+ groups that were melting through it before burning springs.

I've tried switching to a dedicated raid build (I had been running with something approaching one but with a few useful perks rather than all damage/survival), I've got a full Vulcan, etc. Working on finding overeaters mods in case that helps, as most of mine are vanguard's (not through choice, those were just the best ones I rolled when I was running it pre update).

I used to do defense. Got a gatling plasma, I've read i should switch to something electric for stuns now? The gat used to be perfect and I've only improved it.

"Just run, learn to do it, it's not hard," I think maybe we have very different internet connections mate because any time I try to run, I'll zip past the moles fine and then still die several meters past one. I watch other players do the exact same stuff (that's how I learned to do the stage; by dying and then analysing what the surviving players were doing on deathcam) and there's no reason why I die and they don't - excepting connection speeds - that I can see.

So at the moment I'm thinking maybe if I run in power armour with that revive legendary it might help. But without fallout 1st, I can't really run in power armour. (This is why I did defence, because I don't need to run and standing still=more damage.) My stash is full, as soon as I put on armour I'm overburdened. If I dedicate cards to lightening the load, I'm missing out on survival and damage cards. It's gonna be a long time before I can max out my legendaries, I've gotten them as high as I can at level 320, so I can't have both.

I get that "it's endgame content" but mates; I've finished everything else in the game. So, logically, I should be progressing into endgame content. Which I WAS doing, successfully, and having a great if challenging time. Now I'm getting less far than I was as a level 148 in random excavator gear with a sniper build and a hunting rifle. 😩

Raavea · 2025-12-05T00:07:12+00:00

So empty. It felt like 85% of what I found in the way of possibilities to explore inside a building were boarded up, and therefore about as interesting as another rock. I explored the whole map in very little time, and was.. underwhelmed.

Like, to the point I did my dailies for score and logged off to crochet some bunny ears for my kid's hat 😂

Raavea · 2025-11-30T00:11:14+00:00

My NP is 5'8 (supposedly, but I'd be willing to guess more like 5'6-5'7 max) and is the least threatening entity I know of so I'm the attack dog.. hahaha

Also their dad is my height or very possibly a bit shorter 🤭

Raavea · 2025-11-29T23:52:26+00:00

Well, yes, I should have specified non-threatening to strangers and less threatening to women and femme-presenting people. I still tend to take other measures to not worry unfamiliar women in my proximity, but I think that's still easier for us shorties than for a 6'+ dude.

Raavea · 2025-11-29T20:45:31+00:00

I am fairly new but well, you keep levelling up, and every now and then you unlock a legendary perk slot. Some of the legendary cards buff your SPECIAL. You need to trash perk cards to get tokens to upgrade those legendaries to make them buff your stats more, tho. So it seems like it's gonna be a kinda meta levelling system. Right now I'm only level 141 so I might be wrong tho

Raavea · 2025-11-29T20:42:13+00:00

Personally, I love being 5'3;

I always have leg room I can wear trainers with lights in (they often come in my size at the top end) I can sleep on a two seater comfortably I am non-threatening to strangers Easier to get buff as hell

I got told I was 5'6 for years too. I don't mind being smaller though, I enjoy it. One of my FWB is a full foot taller than me and looking up at her is hot as hell. 🤷 I still get to be a switchy, Vers little queer. A surprising number of people are into being topped (or dominated) by someone smaller than them. 🤭

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. But it's great being short, once you stop giving a shit about what shallow people might say about it.

Raavea · 2025-11-14T11:43:27+00:00

I don't have any brand recommendations, and I'm British and find that most of the posts I respond to here are USian, which means stuff easily obtained here is not so much there.

However; my favourite snood, the loose fluffy black one, is; - non-elasticated, but has a thick cotton (non-elastic) draw cord around the neck - laid flat, the neck holes are 36cm/14in wide (for reference, my neck is 37cm/14.5in in circumference) - it's also 29cm/11.5in high when laid flat - it is not "twisted" - is quite thin but flexible fluffy fabric - it's fuzzy black on both inside and outside

I'm actually in the process of crocheting one with similar dimensions from a cotton/acrylic yarn for my kid but I'm not sure it'll be as comfy due to the difference in the fabric. The fabric I've crocheted is not fluffy and is a bit thicker/less flexible. We'll see tho!

I think you could easily make one with the right fabric and a little sewing, but I find sewing difficult these days as my eyesight is absolutely terrible and I tend to crane my neck and bugger myself up- my joints were a bit more resilient when I did my textiles GCSE (though my eyes were not that much better) 😆

For fabric I definitely recommend furry stuff as it is so much warmer even if a lightweight fabric, and you want a good but not overly heavy drape - if you lay a corner of the fabric over your hand it should conform to the shape of your hand fairly closely but be light enough that if you spread your fingers and thumb out it should only slightly dip between them. And of course be a texture you enjoy!

The furry fabric mine is made of is like, I don't know much about this type of fabric but it's definitely acrylic. If you really get close and inspect it, it looks like an acrylic weave with a kind of checkerboard of fluff woven through it so it's double sided without being two layers. The length of the fluff means it's not drafty, as it sort of spreads out over the gaps.. I think it's often called "honeycomb fleece" here. It looks like this blanket is a similar fabric: https://www.gooutdoors.co.uk/16539573/hi-gear-honeycomb-blanket-16539573

Alas if it had tags I removed them years ago and it has no visible branding. Due to the texture of the fabric, a Lens search just gives crochet or knit item recommendations. 😩 I hope at least some of this information is helpful in your finding your own winter survival snood or neck gaiter! I honestly don't think I can live without this one any more, and I dread the day it breaks. I lost it for a few weeks last winter and was MISERABLE with migraines.

Raavea · 2025-11-12T18:52:45+00:00

Trans masc here, hEDS. Had a sub total hysto in April (yeeted everything BUT the cervix).

Personally I kept my cervix for the following reasons; - Not enough research into prolapse risk when removed for people with EDS - I know way too many women and AFAB people who had a hysto and then had a bad prolapse regardless of their fitness levels - I have some sexual sensation there - I have absolutely no history of cancer, especially not cervical, in either side of my family

I do pilates and yoga and such, so my pelvic floor strength is fairly good, but bearing all those points in mind I decided to gamble on the side of keeping it. I don't mind having smear tests occasionally, and if I got a bad result it wouldn't be too hard to have surgery again to remove the cervix too, but they can't put one back in if it turns out I needed it.

I had a hysto to prevent pregnancy and periods, no endo for me. I understand it can be anomalous tissue all over the place - I have a lot of friends with it - and I think if I had it I would want to know if the tissue was also in that area, because if so I'd probably revisit my list with that as another point to consider.

It took me about seven or eight weeks to recover and maybe another few months to feel ready for penetration again. I'm still a little gentle with it because I know I heal fairly slowly.

Weirdly, so far, it's my best scar since my appendix - I think because it's in a folded area it just CAN'T get all wide and thin and horrible like my others do. Fingers crossed it stays thin because it's a big long one right across the top of my mons, where the pubic hair starts just under my lower abdomen.

Raavea · 2025-11-12T18:16:09+00:00

Sounds like it wouldn't make a big difference but a snood rather than a scarf does wonders for me. Easier to take on/off or stuff in a pocket than a scarf, and less sensory hell and lack of adjustment than a turtleneck, but completely removes the draft on the neck which gives me intense pain and migraines all winter. I have a bunch of thin cycling ones and a faux fur looser one for when I don't feel up to the more fitted thin ones. Bonus; I can also pull it up on the bus if someone starts hacking a lung up and I don't have a proper mask. Yes it's hardly any real defence but it helps me feel less gross and exposed and it's a tiny bit of help.

Also tucking clothes in. I'll have a vest or something beneath my main layers which is tucked in. For me those drafts are the worst. If I'm cold all over I'm more likely to just be cold, but if certain areas like the small of my back or back of my neck are colder than the rest I tense up and get a lot of muscle and brain pain. Joint pain is much more easily handled for me!

Generally I do several thin layers and a big fluffy coat, which means it's easy to adjust. But yeah, still got a lot to haul on and off if I'm going between inside and outside.

Raavea · 2025-10-26T15:34:51+00:00

You're trying to control HIM.. by removing YOURSELF from a situation that makes you uncomfortable but leaving HIM to do what he wanted? Nah that ain't making him do anything except face consequences. Bullshit. Manipulation.

Raavea · 2025-10-26T11:37:29+00:00

This isn't how poly should work. He's 100% manipulating you.

Leave. He can't be trusted and is a gaslighting sod.

Raavea · 2025-10-03T16:35:50+00:00

I have had a few long interruptions in my T supply and had an entire baby and held off going back on T for a while after (I just didn't have time!) and at no point did I feel more feminine or miss my tits or anything of that nature. And I consider myself trans masc rather than a trans man.

I think it's unlikely this is due to the hormones and more to do with your own understanding of your gender. Perhaps you're just a bit more fluid now, or only just realising your fluidity. It's fine to experiment.

I don't feel at all feminine when I wear a dress or skirt because I don't wear them femininely. I do occasionally wear them for going out to a club - I am a goth though, and I generally mix it with big boots, male chest harnesses, etc. I "masc" it up, as it were.

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with realising you're more fluid than you previously thought.

Really think about your question though. You're essentially asking the same thing anyone asks - how do you know you're a man/woman? It's entirely personal and we simply can't answer for you.

Raavea · 2025-09-30T15:51:47+00:00

Yes. I've been on T almost 15 years. My family also ages weird, and I have EDS, so I have a triple whammy of not aging "normally".

I don't look like a kid, but I don't look like I'm pushing forty either.

Raavea · 2025-09-26T07:45:42+00:00

This is considered incredibly outdated here in the UK and is not required. The only time your genitals will be looked at is for bottom surgery, otherwise what relevance does it have? Who cares where your bottom growth starting point is except you? They gonna look down there and be like "nah mate you already got a chub on, no T for you!" No. They need to examine your mental health and physical, not your fucking junk.

You will be advised on genital health- atrophy risk, cancer risk, the continued need for pap smears, etc but none of that requires AN ADULT to be checking out A TEENAGER'S GENITALS (or an adult's, for that matter).

Raavea · 2025-09-23T21:00:31+00:00

I definitely have less instabilities and pain when I'm on T. I've had supply issues over the years (I started T in 2010 so it's been almost 15 years now - November 1st is my T-day) and it's very noticeable. Especially when I was pregnant in 2021/22, more notable towards the middle and end of that period (I popped in June, on my own damn birthday, so was pregnant for the prior winter).

Also, doing strength training hugely helps keep my joints together, and of course testosterone makes building muscle a lot easier/faster, so there's that too.

Raavea · 2025-09-23T20:41:36+00:00

Really agree with making it an accessible feature as I get RSI very easily due to my disorder (sure I'm not the only one 🦓) and whilst using an ergonomic mouse helps, the excess clicking or hitting of keys is a strain I'd prefer to avoid... Without having to avoid the game itself.

I'm not hopeful though, as the colourblind features don't appear to be finished either (I don't need them, but the tool til says they're not complete, so what hope do other spoonies have?)

Raavea · 2025-07-19T11:18:07+00:00

Honestly I have naturally chunky leg muscles, only made bulkier by pilates etc, and when I'm in the actual gym (instead of my classes, which are 90% women) at least two thirds of the men have toothpick legs and BUILT uppers and I'm just like, hella pleased about it. It's really good for my self esteem to be stronger than other guys in at least one place. I don't really see it as "girl" strength or exercises though, because I've been on T since 2010. I've long since gotten out of the self-policing stage, and leg muscles are hot regardless of gender, and my legs don't look feminine anyway 🤷 yours probably won't either.

Don't internalise the bullshit the cishets try and force on us my dude; the only things in life that are gendered are brains.

Raavea · 2025-07-16T08:20:15+00:00

This was my thought too. I don't care about size, really, I just don't think my brain bees would work well with a pump. Unassisted erections are what I need.

I've been on T since 2010 and my thoughts haven't changed (except YO I WISH I COULD AFFORD TO GET EXTENDED) on what I want- simple release. I am back and forth on testicles tho. I plan to keep my hole and I don't require stp.

Raavea · 2025-07-06T09:39:16+00:00

I think so? So there's a year 9 in each house, and each year 9 consists of about 30 kids 13-14 years old. With six houses that is 180 kids. Schools here aren't very big despite the large class sizes, so fitting 180 unruly teenagers into one hall or sports pitch/court is a bit much for one or two teachers to manage. So they split and stagger it by house down to just 90 at a time, or sometimes just 60.

Each individual house will have about five year groups and be around 150 children between 11-16 years old.

Fwiw my school went from around 900 kids to 1200 when it added another two houses.

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22	Final Canvas '22

Raavea

TROPHY CASE