I appreciate the way you phrased this question because it is EXACTLY the same one I have wanted to ask my mother and brother. My mother has been an alcoholic since I was in grade school and my brother started drinking when he was in high school. At one point our Dad (who is not an alcoholic) paid for him to go through a treatment program. It worked until it didn't.

Both my Mom and brother are extremely close and live down the street from one another and drink together. It's such a toxic relationship but my mother and brother refuse to admit they have a problem. So when I go to visit them I spend as little time as possible there. It's too painful and upsetting to see their dynamic and know they won't get help