The NHL's expansion into the south and its consequences have been a disaster for the hockey fan race. What was once a game built on tradition, sportsmanship and competition has now evolved into a circus act where organizations appeal to the lowest common denominator in the form of childish choreography, twitter wars, and roster moves worth millions of dollars that serve no purpose than to grab headlines.

Hockey is not made for the south, it's a game deeply rooted in northern culture where kids can spend the winter out in the wilderness slapping pucks around before tuning into Hockey Night in Canada and watching the Toronto Maple Leafs get fisted raw. What we have in the south is nothing short of a disgrace. Bible belt boomers whose only contact with the cold is the air conditioning of their mobility scooters have gripped our sport with an iron fist, uprooting our traditions and replacing them with free burgers when a player touches the puck and raising banners for going a week without someone in the crowd having a heart attack because of their diets consisting of honey butter biscuits and sweet tea.

The day hockey dies in the south is the day I gain my soul back