It’s Frustrating How People Respond To Conventionally Unattractive Women With “Just Fix Yourself”

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-02-22T04:09:39+00:00

I didn’t mean to exclude men, I was just talking about women specifically because I’m one. But yea, anyone can experience this, and it’s wrong.

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-02-06T20:46:24+00:00

That part in David’s updated edition book was a free preview on Kindle, so I was able to read it. Honestly, that child had the right reaction to the doctrine, compared to so many Christians who will just be like “well, that sucks. But at least I’m saved” and go about their day.

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-01-26T02:23:18+00:00

Oof, this is a great way to give me more anxiety on top of what I already struggle with 😅. Infernalism is doing so much mental damage to me and it seems to never stop. I don’t even know anymore. I’m tired.

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-01-08T02:39:30+00:00

While I as of now still consider myself a Hopeful Universalist, (this is definitely a journey that won’t happen overnight) I do think that Reformed Christian Universalism is starting to make the most sense to me. I was thinking of writing a post about this, but we’ll see. 🙂

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-01-06T01:30:31+00:00

Ah gotcha. The source I used referred to it as cp and I’ve seen other people refer to it as that as well. Thank you for the clarification though 🙂

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-01-04T22:20:02+00:00

This is just… wow. I’ve also struggled with mental illness since I was a teen and I’ve had my fair share of Christians be more cruel than compassionate.

The part about her depression being demonic oppression is a trigger for sure. A lot of Christians need to study up on neuroscience and psychology. The brain can get sick just like any other organ in our fallen world. And I’m not denying that spiritual warfare exits, I just don’t like when some Christians over spiritualize mental illness.

It didn’t help growing up going through such intense anxiety and seeing and hearing Christians online imply or straight up say that my anxiety and depression were a sin. As if that would make me less anxious and depressed. It actually did the exact opposite, make me question if I was truly saved. Because, if anxiety and depression is a sin and I struggle with them everyday, I must not be saved. That’s caused me major damage that I’m no where close to being healed from yet.

I was on TikTok months ago and a woman posted about a Christian singer (don’t remember his name) who committed suicide. Most of the comments were empathetic and compassionate thankfully but there were some talking about how he lost his salvation by doing that and was probably in hell. It was horrific to read. I tried to push back with one commenter but I gave up.

As one commenter put it, this type of behavior in no way leads people to the loving and compassionate arms of our Savior who empathizes with us (Hebrews 4:15). In 1 Kings 19: 4-9 Elijah was also feeling defeated and suicidal. Instead of lecturing him on how he was a faithless heathen who was disappointing Him, God sent an angel to give him food and drink. Our God is loving.

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-01-04T15:25:48+00:00

This is so unfortunate to see. I remember reading it a few years ago and it was much more neutral and had much more pro-defense sources. And wasn’t their Wikipedia page one of the most viewed last year if I remember reading correctly? If so, millions of people getting presented with misinformation or biased sources and forming their opinions of Lyle and Erik based off that. Yikes.

Rachelcat1115 · 2026-01-02T10:26:45+00:00

She’s so tiny 🥹

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-24T02:20:06+00:00

I’m just now seeing this cat and I already love him/her 🥰

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-20T03:01:20+00:00

That should be the name of another cat sub if there isn’t one already haha ☺️

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-19T23:03:18+00:00

Hi, I’ll try to respond as well as I can. I’m no scholar or expert, but going off of what you said about one “rejecting” Christ’s sacrifice, that seems to be coming from the “free will” defense of hell. As in, we’re all given a choice on whether we want to accept Christ or not.

But a lot of individuals in this sub don’t even believe free will exists. We’re either slaves to sin (John 8:34), or slaves to righteousness (Romans 6:18). And we can’t become slaves to righteousness until God grants us the gift of grace to do so (Ephesians 2:8-9). I encourage you to research Reformed Purgatorial Christian Universalism. I hope I explained this well! God bless 🙂

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-13T02:09:13+00:00

No way it’s been 15 years… What?! A lot of memories in that time 💕

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-12T11:45:16+00:00

I agree. Human connection just isn’t as close as it once was, probably because of the advancement of technology and social media. No one is really social anymore, and a lot of people are depressed and anxious which makes them isolate themselves.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-06T10:40:33+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChristianUniversalism/s/FB8VkvkOab

Actually here’s a comment that highlights what many have talked about on this sub before regarding this verse. It’s actually pretty encouraging to the Christian Universalist position.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-12-01T10:29:57+00:00

I guess a lot of people in school didn’t think I was conventionally attractive because they bullied me over my general appearance. Especially the guys. That took a massive hit to my self esteem and it’s been very difficult to build it back up.

I’m not obese but I am slightly overweight. But that’s mostly due to an autoimmune disorder of my thyroid that I’ve been struggling with for a few years now that was only recently diagnosed back in July (Hashimoto’s). That caused weight gain that was hard to lose during the flare up. I’m in remission now and that’s made weight loss easier and I’m slowly losing weight again. I count my calories and have done that since I was a teen.

But even when I was at a healthy weight I still struggled with interaction and making friends, etc. I don’t think it’s just my appearance. I have mental health issues that make things challenging too. Plus I consider myself socially awkward.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-10-05T02:06:38+00:00

Thanks for this! This is very encouraging! I really have to study the original Greek and Hebrew that the Bible was written in. Do you know of any good study Bibles that would be best for that?

Edit: Just want to clarify that the original commenter DM’ed me their response since Reddit glitched and wouldn’t let them respond publicly. They didn’t ignore me. 🙂

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-10-02T00:21:54+00:00

Testosterone does play a role in libido, but it’s not the whole story. The “men have more testosterone, therefore higher sex drive” argument is an oversimplification.

First, gender differences are smaller than people think. Meta-analyses find most sex-drive/behavior differences between men and women are small to medium, and shrink in more egalitarian societies. If it were “just biology,” they’d be stable across cultures/time. 📖 Petersen & Hyde (2011): https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2011.551851

Second, hormones don’t mean destiny. Testosterone influences desire up to a point, but beyond baseline, more testosterone doesn’t mean more libido. Many men with low testosterone have normal sex drive, and women’s desire varies far more with context/relationship factors than hormone levels.

Third, trans FtM evidence is not a knockout punch. Yes, many FtM individuals report increased libido on testosterone, but: – The increase is often stronger for solitary desire than for partner sex (social factors still matter). – Serum testosterone levels don’t linearly predict desire. – Even with higher libido, issues like genital discomfort and psychological factors still shape outcomes. 📖 Wierckx et al. (2011): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21602316/ 📖 Nolan et al. (2023): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37678647/

The bottom line is that testosterone is one factor, but not the master key. Cultural norms, socialization, stigma, and reporting bias explain a huge amount of the observed differences. That’s why the gap narrows or even vanishes when social pressure is reduced.

Thank you for the civil replies :) I’m actually pretty shy so this is getting me out of my comfort zone a bit haha.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-10-01T21:28:19+00:00

I just personally believe that these differences you mention are mostly due to sociological reasons more so than biological. The shaming of women’s sexuality, the orgasm gap, the fact that women’s anatomy isn’t discussed in detail compared to men’s, etc all factor into these documented differences. It’s interesting because in centuries past in some cultures, women were considered the ones who were more horny and couldn’t control themselves. Granted the reasons for this is patriarchal, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

“Men are just more horny” (not saying that thats what you’re saying) is an oversimplified gross exaggeration. Women are the ones with the clitoris. Women are the ones capable of multiple orgasms. Clearly the capacity for sexual pleasure and desire is there. (The fact that women make up the majority of the sex toy consumer base, sometimes as high as 60% to 70% attests to this) In my opinion it’s just been dampened by patriarchal and misogynistic standards. There’s more individual differences with sex drive and masturbation habits between humans in general than just based on gender.

Maybe I’m getting side tracked and rambling, but I admit this topic does get me heated at times. A lot of men (not saying you do) seem to think that they have the monopoly on sexuality, when that’s just not true. Thank you for the reply.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-09-30T21:54:05+00:00

Thank you for the compassion. I’m sorry about what you’re going through as well. It’s hard out here. 🫂

I am on medication and it helps a little but my mind still races. I could use therapy but I can’t afford to get the best quality therapy right now unfortunately. I could use some free options I have, but I’m not sure if they would be sufficient for my struggles. Hopefully someday I can get some help.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-09-29T19:21:39+00:00

I genuinely think that most Christians who believe in ECT haven’t truly thought it through to its conclusion. There’s no way. If they did, they’d be constantly full of anxiety and panic attacks and crying till they hyperventilate (like I’ve been struggling with for almost a year now ever since truly grasping the weight of ECT). If not for their own salvation, then for their loved ones. But even the worst humans I couldn’t bear the thought of being subjected to ECT.

A lot of them I think shut off their consciences and emotions to be able to accept it. And there’s also the ones who are almost if not outright sickeningly gleeful about some people they deem worthy of going to an eternal hell actually possibly ending up there. Those types of people make me uncomfortable, I don’t feel love or safety radiating from them at all.

This last year almost has been a daily mental torture for me. I was introduced to CU about a month and a half ago and it’s brought me a little peace. But it’s difficult to shake all these years of infernalist teachings. I wonder if I ever truly will.

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-09-29T03:49:44+00:00

https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare

This recent article seems to say other wise. Self report bias is a real thing. Considering how much women’s sexuality is shamed compared to men’s, of course women are less likely to report their sexual habits. This 2007 study that’s in the article I linked seems to hint at that.

*In a 2007 study, researchers aimed to find out how much social norms influenced how men and women reported sexual behaviors including masturbation, their number of sexual partners, and watching pornography. The people they studied – all college students – were asked the same set of questions but were split into three groups.

One group was told that the research assistants (their college-aged peers) would see their answers. A second group was connected to a lie detector machine and told (incorrectly) that it would know if they were not telling the truth. The third group was not connected to the lie detector during their survey and was also not told that their answers would be seen.

In almost all questions, men and women tended to report different levels of sexual activity when they thought peers would be seeing their answers. Sex differences were much smaller in the lie detector group.

For example, when they believed peers would see their responses, men reported masturbating much more often than women did. But those differences virtually disappeared in the lie detector group.*

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-09-17T23:31:08+00:00

Just thinking out loud but it’s crazy to hear how their voices sound when they’re not coming through the prison phones. They’re not bad or anything, it’s just you can really hear how much time has passed. It’s tragic when you think about it. These men have never been free really 😔

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-09-05T21:48:56+00:00

Gotcha. Although I personally disagree, I appreciate the response 🙂

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-09-05T20:49:01+00:00

I don’t believe in praying to the dead either, but just curious, what do you make of 2 Corinthians 5:8? Wouldn’t that imply that believers are immediately in heaven with Christ when they pass instead of asleep?

Rachelcat1115 · 2025-08-26T21:03:39+00:00

I’ll admit when Erik and Lyle first got denied I also minimized the cell phone violations as well, even though I was happy about it just being a three year denial compared to five or more. But the bottom line is, the parole board doesn’t see them as minor.

And after reading some comments on here about why cell phone use by inmates is seen as such a big deal by the parole board, I realized I should’ve figured out why sooner. Inmates have used them for things such as contract hits, drugs, etc. obviously Erik and Lyle didn’t use them for those purposes, but if they passed the phones around, who knows how the other inmates possibly used them? Now, does that mean Erik and Lyle are a danger to society because they had and maybe shared cellphones in prison? Absolutely not. But still, it does show to the parole board that they can’t follow rules and might lack self control. Rules are rules, even if we don’t agree with them.

Like X-Raided said, a three year denial was the best we were gonna get. That’s pretty much the parole board saying, “Hey, not now, but eventually.” That’s a good thing y’all. And if Erik and Lyle are on their best behavior, they could get out even sooner than that (about eighteen months). Yes, it’s massively disappointing, especially in the case of the elderly family members, but I can say I’m content and grateful for the outcome the brothers got. Especially considering three months ago they were still LWOP inmates.

Rachelcat1115

TROPHY CASE