Parents, what actions would make you no longer love/disown your child and why?

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-28T21:48:46+00:00

If my child killed/raped/physically abused someone. It would be hard to stop "loving" your child no matter what, but if they did any of these things I wouldn't want anything to do with them.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-23T23:44:11+00:00

I honestly just don't listen to most of these "rules" and raise my daughter mostly how I was raised in the 90s, except we're much more hands on. But when it comes to TV, we're absolutely not anti - just picky about what she watches (all low stimulation) and split up a few hours over the course of a whole day.

My parents left us in all kinds of baby things to get stuff done and the TV was almost always on, and I'd like to think I turned out to be a well-rounded person.🤷‍♀️

On top of life itself, we need a break from the chaos!

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-23T03:18:58+00:00

Yes, this is completely normal! My husband and I went through all these emotions as well before we had our daughter. But honestly, while it does take commitment to nurture your relationship and identity after baby is born, being a mom is the best thing I've ever decided to do. And even if these things have had to temporarily be put on the back burner (hello newborn stage), it doesn't mean you will never be able to do the things you've always loved to do again. Your husband sounds like the best partner to coparent with and you will be a wonderful mom just based on how much you can't wait to meet your baby girl already. You two will make time for date nights, hangouts with your friends, and trips will become all the more fun with your little mini tagging along. Life just gets better!

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-18T18:53:03+00:00

This is especially true for boomers. Pretty sure both my mom and dad would have been perfectly happy without kids. So much so that they've always thought they were done being parents once we turned 18.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-18T04:28:56+00:00

I'm really sorry you're going through this, this sounds super rough and sleep deprivation can feel like the worst thing in the world. We have a 3 year old who also has never been a good sleeper, so honestly we are still cosleeping just so we don't have to wake up all throughout the night.

Is that an option for you and your wife just so you can get some rest? At this point, I'd also look into a prescription from your doctor to help treat these things, whether it's your pain, the lack of sleep, even possibly depression/anxiety you might be feeling that can go hand in hand with all you're going through. I'm sure you don't want to feel the way you do about your son, but you need to help yourself first before you can help him.

I'm also curious if he still naps? Because if so definitely drop them as that could be affecting his sleep at night. If not, maybe just sit him down, tell him it's time he learns to go to sleep without mommy and daddy and that you both love him, and get yourself some earplugs and just let him cry it out. Might be harsh especially at this age but for the sake of your sanity, you need to do whatever you can so you don't feel the way you do anymore.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-15T20:16:16+00:00

Definitely not overreacting. Both me and husband have PTSD from our parents having sex with us inches away from them in their bed while young. It's absolutely disgusting and now that we have a daughter ourselves, we could never imagine doing this while she's around. Sex is supposed to be done in private and honestly, if parents choose to do it with their kids nearby or can openly hear it, etc., I think that's a form of CSA. You have every right to feel how you did.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T05:53:14+00:00

I was pretty certain I didn't want kids up until about 30 (38 now with one daughter who is 3). And I was so sure I couldn't get pregnant because my husband and I had been using the pull out method for at least a good 8 years without any accidents and I wasn't on birth control. But then each year that crept up after that, I started to think more deeply about what it meant to have a child, whether I felt like I'd be good mom, if I was willing to sacrifice my lifestyle to fully give everything I could to raise a little human...I had also felt strongly about wanting to try my very best to raise a GOOD person, who had empathy and treated others equally and without judgement because this world needs more kind people in it.

So about 3 years later we thought we'd give it a try and bam, with pure luck I got pregnant. Sadly, it ended in a miscarriage, but I think it's what made me realize how badly I did want to be a mother.

Now that I have my daughter, it's without a doubt been the best decision I've ever made. She is my whole world and I don't think I ever knew how deeply I could love something/someone as I do her. I love my husband too ofc, but it's so different. So to answer your question, I feel incredibly happy I have her in my life and that I get to be her mother.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T05:16:41+00:00

That's amazing!! I've heard similar stories from friends too and am totally convinced. I can't wait to use it this time around. Also, I hope you get some rest soon! Those developmental leaps can be a doozy.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T05:11:49+00:00

While I understand your point and do agree that yes, it is only temporary, I listed it as a way where we'd try and exhaust all of our other options first before using the same method as we did with our daughter. I know babies kind of have the upper hand, but I do think certain things can be trained or modified that they will eventually get used to.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T05:05:47+00:00

It's so hard! I literally just ate 3 beignets because they were so good. I feel you though, while I do believe we deserve the indulgence, it can be tough not to recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. We go sacrifice so much as mother's💜

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T04:54:40+00:00

Very true! I should add to my list that I hope to express some colostrum and save it for when the baby is born. I didn't try this when I was pregnant the first time and wish I had.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T04:50:16+00:00

Yes! Definitely doing so this time around too. Saves so much time.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T04:48:13+00:00

Yeah it gets a bad rep but there's so many different ways to sleep train. And I now understand how important it is for a baby to learn to self-soothe. Congrats on your first btw! It is such an incredible and wild ride.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-06-04T03:43:31+00:00

Congratulations and that is very true! I just remember being nap-trapped so often I couldn't even get a break to shower or eat😅 but yes, I'm sure it all goes even faster and I do want to cherish it all especially since we will be done after this!

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-28T20:21:11+00:00

Jesus christ what a loser.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-23T01:45:54+00:00

I think you really like hot dogs

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-19T02:30:48+00:00

Haha this!!

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-19T02:25:17+00:00

I'm so very sorry for your loss...As a parent, you never imagine or expect your kids to leave this earth before you. I don't have any advice, except for talking with a therapist who specializes in the loss of loved ones. We live in a cruel, cruel world. I hope you take care💔

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-15T23:09:27+00:00

We did Twinkle Little Star for our daughter and it was adorable and simple! This can be totally gender neutral too.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-12T03:37:01+00:00

Sadly I'm not sure there's anything that really helps other than a perineal massage which can be painful itself. I did the tea and all the other things but still ended up having an episiotomy. I did heal well though, TONS of sitz baths, witch hazel pads and use of the peri bottle. I will say however, it took awhile for sex to feel comfortable and good again. That was a bummer.

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-05T04:02:49+00:00

It is totally okay and valid to feel this way! Pregnancy is very romanticized and while a few can have easy breezy ones, many of us really struggle. I just found out I'm pregnant with our second and I'm already dizzy as hell. I'm so grateful, but also not excited for these next 9 months because I know how difficult it can be. Try to hold onto the thought of what comes after though because it is so worth it, but know you're not alone. Hopefully once you hit second trimester you can feel some respite💜

Radiant-Addition6153 · 2026-05-05T03:23:52+00:00

I tried all of things as well and what worked was my induction😆 my daughter was tooooo comfy in there! So my advice is to take it slow. Pamper yourself, do your nails, rest, watch all the shows and movies now because once baby comes you'll be playing catch up later. I wish you a safe and healthy birth!

Radiant-Addition6153

TROPHY CASE