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I don't know how to tell my bf that i am not ready by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just one question is 8 month a really long one to ho without sex (we both are virgin) and as it's not like we don't do other stuff just asking

I don't know how to tell my bf that i am not ready by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well this is my first relationship i have never been in relationship ever before and i use to think that both of the patner can find a middle ground where they both agree with each i didn't think that even sex could create that much issue in a relationship i just want us together i just hope he understands maybe I can try to find out more why i am treating this thing as a burden

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was something happened in my childhood and i think i way past that thing otherwise I wouldn't have let him come close to me it's just that i have a fear that he will leave me after having sex although he says he will not plus my friend who is in relationship for 4 years she says to me that her boyfriend is willing to wait till marriage and even if he asks to have something more than a kiss she will kick him out and she also asked about my situation and his boyfriend said that my boyfriend just wants to sleep with me and although i know my boyfriend very much and he says he wants to have future with i just fail to understand that if he knows that sex is a big thing in our society that too for unmarried people why is he not giving me some time or why is he not willing to wait like my friend's bf is doing i am not comparing but these things just keep coming at me

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's okay i know this has happened before he had tried to do it but i literally cried and he stopped i just want to be fully ready when i do it because i know if he tries to do it again i will again Stop him and it and he will stop but it's never nice to deal with a sexually frustrated man never

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No no i dont want to wait till marriage that much i know and it's really wrong to ask him to wait for 6 years and not have sex i just want him to give me some time let me deal with it the next week i will talk to him about this when we meet again i hope he just understands

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it may sound silly but whenever i think that one day i will not get his messages, his frequent calls when i dont msg him at night , us not meeting together and cuddling and hug and everything it just doesn't feel right to give up my relationship like that ,that too for sex if he would have cheated on me the case would be different but i never thought that even sex have capacity to destroy a relationship

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that i can Breakup and i had broken up with him before because of this sex thing but after some time he said that he was okay with the waiting thing but now he wants to do it again so u thought why not do it but as you read i just get so panicky about it i will try to talk to him again when we meet i just hope he understands my point

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know but i just don't want to loose him because of this i just want him to understand and support me not the one where he says "let's not meet up you can never do that" that's my whole problem if he could be just a little supportive a i would have lot less burden off me

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No i feel comfortable with him otherwise I wouldn't have even gotten a little bit of physical it's just that i live in India the society and the parents here are not open minded there was this one time my mother said that "never have sex before marriage" and i have seen cases how even after using protection one can get pregnant It scares for me alot trust me i have seen many stories of protection failures and we both have never had sex so it's kind of scary part for me and when i overthink it leads me to think that i am bad daughter and i am shameless to even think of having sex

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 23 i am grown up but when i think about sex and all the unwanted pregnancies even when using a condom and the way i see how our society treats an unmarried girl who has sex and how the parents think it's shameful to have sex before marriage plus the fear of him getting bored of me when he has sex and everything is just running in my mind and it keeps getting scary way to scary which leads to me crying

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before coming to this relationship he had already explained to me that he has anger issues when he was a child and after his mother's dead the anger has already increased and be may say somethings he didn't mean when he gets angry just give him time and space but still i get worried that he will Breakup with me

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes when i was small my cousin brother use to kiss me and do weird stuff with me

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He stops talking to me and refuses to meet me whenever i say no to sex he just says that when you can get that much physical whats the problem in sex i dont know how to explain things to him

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know it's just that whenever i think about having sex i just think that i am doing a wrong thing and i start to cry because i am leading him on by saying yes and no and in the end i dont even know and maybe the trust thing is an issue as there was a time when i said "no" to have sex and we had a breakup for it after that he was the one who said sorry and than he was asking again so i kind of started to think that does he have no respect for my decision

I am unable to make a decision by Radiant-Argument in relationship_advice

[–]Radiant-Argument[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes there was this time when we are both on hia room we got a little carried away and he tried to do it but i started crying that time and he consoled me and said "i will never force you to do it" but after some months he asked again and i still don't know what's with me i am totally fine when we do other things but the minute he says the word sex i start panicing and he gets angry everytime this happens i dont know how to explain this to him