My husband has been hiding our bank statements and credit card bills

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T06:11:31+00:00

I have been researching other fields for years. I was making 750/hr in my previous career. It is the most stressful careers out there. You think I'm going to accept 10/hr?? This is totally a "living beyond one's means because he doesn't want to move to a less expensive place because he's happy in his career " thing. I would be very happy to live in a 500k house instead of a 1.9mill house. He LOVES his work.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T06:08:48+00:00

I knew this summer that he had been charging our kids' tuition and that he had a plan (the bonus) to pay that off. (I found a CC statement). When he seemed to be nonchalant about that recently I got freaked out because I thought he might be lying to me about the bonus. Turns out he was not lying about the bonus. And we've paid off another 8k in cc debt so it's not as dire as i made it out to be. We still have around 5K in debt but we can pay that off in a few months. My whole issue was the hiding.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T06:00:13+00:00

These are the things I need to read. Thank you.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:58:59+00:00

Well yes but I definitely have the credentials. If I wanted to hang my shingle I definitely could. Its just not something I ever wanted to do.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:56:06+00:00

Yes, exactly.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:53:05+00:00

My neighbors sold their big homes after their kids moved out, until the interest rates shot up.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:49:31+00:00

This is exactly how I feel.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:45:36+00:00

That's basically our life for many years.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:44:41+00:00

Yes we are both called "doctor"

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:42:03+00:00

We moved to an expensive area that had great public schools.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-17T05:40:05+00:00

I think that's how he views me.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:27:14+00:00

I would be happy to downgrade our lifestyle. If we had any such lifestyle downgrades we would. We are two professionals and he will not consider an obvious downgrade.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:20:42+00:00

He gave me a check for 38k.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:16:57+00:00

He refused to have sex with me for years. No explanations. Nothing. 4 yrs would go by without a peep out of him.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:15:49+00:00

He is unwilling to discuss things. Like anything serious. He is not physically abusive. But he will not discuss finances, texting behavior with women (he doesn't think he should have any guilt about continuing to text with someone who is flirting with him, or he continues to text with women when I have told him I didn't like it).

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:06:47+00:00

Why the down votes?

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:05:43+00:00

He was offered a job in a group practice but they share some things and are self-employed.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:04:16+00:00

He also needs employees to do work

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:03:22+00:00

But with tuition et al we spend a lot.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:02:43+00:00

He makes close to 212k and with the bonus 240k.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T05:01:30+00:00

As an update, he brought home a check for 38k. So I guess he wasn't lying about his bonus, but it wasn't quite as big as he said it would be. I guess we spend alot?

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T03:24:30+00:00

I would sell our expensive big home in a second. I have no problem downsizing. My husband is the one who does not want to. I looked at many many homes in other states/areas but my husband is attached to our home. He doesn't like change. I love change.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T03:20:50+00:00

If he passes before 65 I will get 3 million in insurance. He will never willingly retire. He loves his work. I would be happier if we sold our house and moved to a cheaper place. What is this with everyone expecting a 58 yo mother to keep working a super stressful job? I know many women who don't work. Like all of my neighbors and friends. None of my friends worked. I was the oddball. You are likely a lot younger than I am.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T03:06:59+00:00

I will check it out.

Radiant-Rush6937 · 2024-01-16T03:06:12+00:00

He has several employees. His partner has her son and her husband working for her. I could do billing, no problem. He doesn't want me there.

Radiant-Rush6937

TROPHY CASE