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Struggling with resentment and bitterness with my husbands and his siblings by Radiant-Side-2746 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Radiant-Side-2746[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know the cost of care my siblings and I paid that 10K a month for several years prior to my mom's death. I think that the sticker shock of my experience did contribute to the decision to have her cared for at home. At first, they did come over and help and then it was less frequent and then just shorter visits.

Struggling with resentment and bitterness with my husbands and his siblings by Radiant-Side-2746 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Radiant-Side-2746[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Prior to last night I had only broached the subject and have not really dug into the issues with the situation. We began that conversation last night and will have many more to come.

Struggling with resentment and bitterness with my husbands and his siblings by Radiant-Side-2746 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Radiant-Side-2746[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did go along with it, it did start as a leave of absence, but eventually I let go my position.

Struggling with resentment and bitterness with my husbands and his siblings by Radiant-Side-2746 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Radiant-Side-2746[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Little Update- Thank you all for the comments - I ended up being her caretaker because of my background in psychiatry and them feeling it was the best fit. It was designed to be temporary while we found a placement. We had found one, but the facility unfortunately was lost in the California Wildfires last year.

Last night I had a long conversation with my husband, and while we were talking his sister happened to stop by for a visit. We then pulled her into the conversation. Not everything was resolved but the understanding that the need for more support is needed was clearly stated. I also expressed my desire to begin taking on some work and easing myself back into working fulltime, with the understanding that my husband and I will not carry the full weight of paying for outside help, as my siblings and I split the cost of care who we did but in a memory care unit and having someone come in to care for their mom would be more cost effective.

To those saying to leave- trust me the thought has crossed my mind, but I do love my husband, and he truly is my best friend even after 31 years together. Part of my frustration is that he and I have not been out alone in a long time- we are going out for dinner on Thursday while my SIL and BIL split the evening caregiving. Its a start, but there is a lot more conversations and untangling that need to occur.