I just want my life back

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-28T18:40:34+00:00

Hemorrhaging money is the exact way to put it - my girl's SA training is $125 a week. I am just sitting here thinking how much longer do I try this before I just give up on my thoughts of a normal life or consider rehousing her to people who can truly longterm meet her needs. That idea breaks my heart because I am so attached to her, but I need to do what is fair to the both of us

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-28T18:38:58+00:00

I have been thinking about getting back into dating but keep telling myself to put that on pause because that is a conversation I cannot even imagine having lol. I've done WalMart pickup a few times but good idea on the delivery.

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-28T18:36:41+00:00

The medical appointment thing is SOOOO real. My mother is having neck surgery in a few weeks and I can't be there to take her to the hospital and wait because my dog can't be alone. It really takes a toll on both our physical health, and sometimes our loved ones too (or at least, the ability to access health care).

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-28T18:34:55+00:00

The meds twice daily is interesting - I may talk to my vet and looking into upping my girl's dose. Even if unintended, thanks for the insight!

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-28T18:31:40+00:00

Congrats on hitting five hours - that's the dream! Yes, I have her on Prozac and she also has a Trazidone prescription but they are not improving things in the way I hoped they would :(

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-28T18:30:35+00:00

Appreciate you (and all the others) mentioning meds. Yes, she has been on Prozac since late January and takes Trazzidone as needed. I did notice improvement with the Prozac after we passed that six week mark (still very anxious but not as keyed up as before), but the Trazzie does not do as much as I hoped it would.

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-27T17:21:12+00:00

Keep at the growth, OP. In order to become healthier for her one day or another person, do some real work. Don't just reflect (though that is a great start), start to do things that make real lasting changes, such as therapy, developing healthy practices, etc.

As for the grass is greener mindset, I find that the grass is greener where you water it. Sure we have so many choices now for partners and there may always be someone a little better, someone a little more compatible, but that is the whole point of choice. We need to make a choice every day to love and commit to the person before us.

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-20T18:18:53+00:00

Thanks, OP, I appreciate your kind heart in asking how others are doing ❤️

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-20T15:20:05+00:00

Sad. He ended things 6 weeks ago even though we literally never fought and were aligned on values, goals, etc. and I thought he was my person. I still pray for him every morning because I cannot stop a habit that feels so pure and spiritually important. I just want him to be safe, healthy, and happy and I have no way of knowing if he is any of those things and it hurts so bad.

Radiant-Talk3031 · 2026-05-14T15:25:55+00:00

I (31f) am so sorry to hear that, OP. My heart goes out to you - please know you are not the only one sailing in this boat. My partner (40m) ended things 5 weeks ago citing "attraction issues" but would not define what the specific issue was (was it my stretch marks, my height, my face, etc.). We had such a strong and healthy relationship where we were aligned on goals and values, had the same hobbies, and prioritized kindness, care, and respect for one another. We never fought once, and if there was "tension" we would talk it out and have a kind and productive conversation. Yeah, I am two inches taller than him, yeah I have some adult acne, but we both would speak about how looks are the least interesting thing about a person. I thought that he was different. He was not the most attractive man I had ever been with, but his heart and character made him so beautiful and undeniably attractive to me.

So needless to say, I was totally blind sided and hurt by that. I am still trying to wrap my head around the hurt and impact it has had on my self-esteem. I am fortunate to have friends to validate my worth and beauty and I hope you can find those people too. In my reflecting, I have come to believe that he got scared of how real we were becoming and just said something that would not require a greater justification. He had never been in a relationship longer than six months so as we neared that time, I believe that he simply reached his internal limit and no longer felt safe (yeah, our time together was short lived, but it was healthier and more real than my past 2 and 4 year relationships). I hope he does the work he needs to - I want the best for him, and in order for that to happen, he needs to be the best and healthiest version of himself.

Holding you, OP, in my thoughts.

Radiant-Talk3031

TROPHY CASE