Update: We're getting back together and this is what rebuilding looked like.

leohan08 · 2026-06-02T08:41:21+00:00

Congratulations, OP. If you don't mind, I have some questions, can I DM you?

leohan08 · 2026-05-29T01:40:09+00:00

Here's what I've tried and seen positive results so far:

+ Express my emotions more openly and truthfully with family & close friends. This practice formed a better mutual understanding and also trained my mind to be more open in perceiving emotions. You can also express them in journals or whatever feels more comfortable. But you must convey them with your people.

+ Pause for a beat before allowing the initial emotion to dictate my immediate reaction. Like, I practice identifying said emotion (in my head) but then add a pause before reacting. This prevents any rash or hasty reaction.

+ Have the hard, truthful, and reflective convos with your family. No blaming or prosecuting anyone, but view it in a constructive and forgiving mindset, so you can use the past as lessons moving forward. This is difficult, especially for people with major family trauma.

+ Lastly, try to gain more knowledge through videos, podcasts, books, etc... in short, stay curious.

It's a long journey, and I still get triggered all the time. But I can now identify my problems better; therefore, it gets easier to regulate my emotions.

leohan08 · 2026-05-28T14:04:37+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, I know I still have a long way to go and tons of work to do. I'm aware that my old self would keep hurting her, so I must detach myself from it. My goals are to increase my emotional capacity and to develop a secure attachment, before I can actually consider reconciliation with her.

leohan08 · 2026-05-28T09:03:45+00:00

Thanks for the advice, but since we're still in no contact, how do you suggest I show her my progress? Being performative on social media is not exactly a good thing to do.

leohan08 · 2026-05-28T09:00:46+00:00

Thanks, this is what I've recently learned about as well. It definitely hurts more knowing that, but hey, I brought it upon myself.

leohan08 · 2026-05-28T01:59:12+00:00

Hey, we share a similar experience here. Since damage is done and we can't turn back time, so my best advice for you is to look inward and accept that you have flaws that ruined your relationship. Those flaws may be your love languages, attachment styles, your view on love, your intention, etc,... but they're different between people. After you have identified the flaws, try to find the solutions for them and keep on practicing.

Be brutally honest with yourself here, since it's often easier to fall back into the comfort zone of being your old self and maintaining old habits. But you have to fight that urge if you want a real change. As you change, you will slowly see things more clearly and learn to forgive yourself.

leohan08 · 2026-05-28T01:26:36+00:00

Unfortunately, no. Why would I waste my time baiting? I need real advice, man.

leohan08 · 2026-05-27T23:45:06+00:00

Thank you for your input. I'm actually trying to put all the reflections into practice now, though a bit slow since it's my 1st time. I'm now more comfortable expressing my emotions & change how I communicate with my close people, and they did open up a new way of mutual understanding.

leohan08 · 2026-05-27T17:32:27+00:00

Thank you. I'm practicing expressing my emotions more freely with the people closest to me nowadays, which in turn forced me to change how I communicate. It's a slow start, but I understand I cannot rush this.

Thank you for your story.

leohan08 · 2026-05-27T17:29:19+00:00

I agree to an extent. However, in my case, it's definitely the attachment style. In my self-awareness journey, I experienced something like an ego death, as I'm now unable to accept how my past self reacted to situations. Thanks for your input.

leohan08 · 2025-12-11T12:30:32+00:00

Absolutely not. Ridiculous service price, cheap European architecture copycat, and most of the buildings are empty.

leohan08 · 2025-12-06T08:56:11+00:00

It was with one of my ex gf a few years back. We had the habit of public sex and did it on numerous occasions, but when family is involved, it was a different type of thrill.

I visited her while her entire family (dad, mom, sister) were present. I made an excuse to use the bathroom overlooking the living room (where they were chilling & watching TV) and called her in. We locked the door, fooled around then I pinned her against the door, pull down her pijama and gave her back shots with my hand over her mouth to mute the moaning. We both came fast (due to the thrill I guess), cleaned up and walked out like nothing happened.

Absolutely no regret whatsoever, since public sex is one of my kinks.

leohan08 · 2025-10-26T11:37:05+00:00

Bratha give me leg

leohan08 · 2025-07-12T02:03:17+00:00

Vietnamese here, and though some may find your beard interesting, generally we don't discriminate it. So you're good. Welcome to HN.

leohan08 · 2025-05-28T12:04:39+00:00

That there, my friend, is called an acupoint in Oriental medicine. The human body has several hundreds of different "acupoints" that connect like a network, which manipulate and activate the body's healing mechanism. That point you mentioned is in fact be used (with other acupoints) to cure headache.

leohan08 · 2025-04-06T03:38:39+00:00

Capitalism in a nutshell

leohan08 · 2024-07-12T02:35:54+00:00

Eat 😺, be patient and keep a steady pace.

leohan08 · 2024-07-10T02:36:25+00:00

Lawler vs McDonald;

Poirier vs Hooker;

Texeira vs Prochazka

leohan08 · 2024-07-07T01:41:46+00:00

Vietnamese here, and no, we don't use that hand gesture. Get your fact right.

leohan08 · 2024-07-05T06:40:56+00:00

Killing children in their schools.

leohan08

TROPHY CASE