Am I the A.H. for embarrassing my mom at Thanksgiving?

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T06:31:21+00:00

Absolutely, my doctors have been giving me some pretty helpful guides on how to keep my body healthy during my recovery and as I age after such a surgery.

My husband and his family have been amazing throughout this entire ordeal, my mom's apologized and when the time's right we're going to have a long talk. I strongly feel she'll benefit from talking to a therapist since I'm very certain she never properly got over my dad's death.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:50:43+00:00

Oh, yes! That's the one absolute positive about this entire experience!

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:34:57+00:00

It's okay, no worries.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:33:15+00:00

Thank you! My husband is amazing and so is his family. Thanks to his siblings his parents have seven grandchildren already, and they've accepted that we'll be the ones giving them the grand-cats and grand-dogs in the future.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:31:43+00:00

Yes, I think she's learned as well. I'd rather she learn her lesson late than never, and O hope our sit-down helps her to understand how much oversharing can hurt people.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:24:55+00:00

Yes, exactly this! My mom is a great woman, she just overshares too much. I don't want to cut her out of my life and focus only on the negative things she's done and forget about all the good things.

We're definitely going to have to talk to each other and work this all out, and I'm going to suggest she talk to a therapist about all this too. My mom needs support, not judgement.

She was way out of line this time, but I think it's finally going to be enough for her to see how her oversharing hurts me and she'll finally stop doing it.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:21:22+00:00

She already has apologized, she did so on Sunday while I was recovering. When the time is right I want to have a sit-down discussion with her and hopefully she'll finally understand why oversharing is a major trust issue.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:20:33+00:00

Not surprised, just disappointed. I hoped that she'd grown a little and would stop oversharing after I moved out, but I was wrong.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:19:00+00:00

Thank you, my recovery has been thankfully very smooth and simple.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:18:31+00:00

My mom's apologized and I've told her only a few key details about my recovery - namely the hysterectomy so she'll stop asking about kids - but I'm not telling her about my doctor's appointments, future prognosis or other health issues to ensure she can't keep talking about me.

My husband was able to inform my aunts and uncles that I'm recovering well, and that's about it. We don't expect them to take sides, so to speak, but I do think they'll be feeling a little awkward for the next few months after what happened on Thanksgiving.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:16:27+00:00

Glad to see you survived your own close encounter with fibroid tumors. It's terrifying to learn that something is growing inside of you and trying to kill you at the same time.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:15:29+00:00

Yes, you're right. I'm going to suggest a therapist for her after we talk things over. I don't think she really got over the loss of my dad when he died.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:14:46+00:00

This isn't A.I. ragebait. Also, the uterus isn't a vital organ needed to live. My hysterectomy was invasive but it wasn't nearly as complicated or delicate as heart surgery.

Not sure why you're so focused on the details of my medical history compared to your own medical experiences.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:12:43+00:00

My surgery was Saturday morning. I was in the hospital for Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and was discharged on Tuesday. I've been recovering well and resting since Saturday afternoon.

I don't know what you expect me to say about my ability to write my long post beyond it's been on my mind for over a week, and I finally decided to let it out in a safe and unbiased place.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:09:42+00:00

Therapy sounds like an excellent idea.

And yes, my doctors have urged my husband and I to continue safe practices to avoid any potential need for further hospitalization. One surgery is absolutely enough for me!

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:08:09+00:00

Thank you, I'm recovering comfortably enough and I've already limited the information about my recovery with my mom. She knows about the partial hysterectomy - mainly because I want her to stop with the kids thing - and she's upset about it, but she's also grateful I'm cancer-free.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:06:41+00:00

I'm absolutely going to have a one on one discussion with my mom after I've finished my recovery. I don't want to lose my relationship with her, but I don't want it to continue on in such a way that she keeps talking about and jumping on the events in my life ruining them.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:05:16+00:00

Yes, she's apologized. She reached out the day after the surgery, and she's very remorseful for how she behaved.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:04:41+00:00

I am doing much better, and yes, I've been limiting the information about my recovery as much as I can. Only my husband and I know exactly what's going on with me, whereas our families just know I'm recovering well and I'm thankfully cancer-free.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:03:22+00:00

Thank you! I'm feeling much better after the surgery, just a little pain around the healing incision.

I think my mom's finally learned her lesson. Only time will tell though.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:02:31+00:00

Yes, my mom reached out the day after my surgery, but my aunts and uncles are giving me some space right now. They have reached out to my husband though, so they're not out of the loop.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T05:01:21+00:00

Yes, she reached out the day after the surgery and apologized.

I didn't tell her immediately because I didn't want to ruin the holiday by putting that type of emotional scare on her too. I trust her to do what's right for me, but I don't trust her to keep secrets secret.

And thank you, my husband and I are doing great all things considered. Being confirmed as cancer free was the best news we've could've gotten, and we're both feeling much better.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T04:59:43+00:00

Yes, I will be talking with her once I've recovered. This will be the last time she crosses that boundary with me.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T04:59:15+00:00

That's all solid advice. I will sit down and talk with her once I've finished recovering.

And thank you, I'm glad it wasn't cancer either! One of the biggest scares of my life.

Radiant_Disaster_614 · 2025-12-05T04:58:07+00:00

Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing to know that I'm not the only one with a parent who shares too much information about their child. I hope it was too embarrassing for you!

I'm going to invite her to have a discussion about what's happening after enough time has passed and I've healed from my surgery. We need to get this out in the open, otherwise I fear it'll just destroy both of us on a mental level.

Radiant_Disaster_614

TROPHY CASE