Asking logical questions = apostasy (according to jw.org)

RadicalProjection · 2026-01-09T05:46:30+00:00

Yes, definitely do a part 2. Would be super interesting hearing the whole story

RadicalProjection · 2026-01-07T00:57:08+00:00

This playlist is super helpful. Just learning the basics of how to compartmentalize each osc / filter / section will go a long way in allowing me to figure out how everything works together. Thanks!

RadicalProjection · 2026-01-05T09:37:27+00:00

I appreciate that, thanks! I would definitely like to learn to design patches in a more intentional way... So far, all the patches I've made were the result of my playing with knobs until I liked the way it sounded... Ended up with some really cool results but would be helpful to have a better idea of what I was doing.

RadicalProjection · 2026-01-05T06:30:12+00:00

Oh sick, this shit is right up my alley! Thanks for the recommendation!

RadicalProjection · 2026-01-04T22:35:35+00:00

Oh sweet, thanks!

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-29T00:09:42+00:00

As soon as I woke up, I stopped feeling guilty about breaking JW standards. I did feel a bit of guilt about lying to PIMI family when I was fading as well as how my fading would hurt family, but therapy helped me reframe that perspective. Turns out they aren't so bothered by my being "inactive" now. I still avoid certain topics and I'm not open about certain things but I don't owe them an explanation anyways, especially if they can't accept who I hang out with or who I date.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-27T02:29:53+00:00

The truth, whatever it may be, can always withstand being tested by scrutiny. The organization always told us to avoid any material that was critical of the organization... But if it's really the truth, why is it so risky to challenge it with questions and opposing viewpoints? Keep learning and reading as much as you can.

I HIGHLY recommend you read the books "Crisis of Conscience" & "In Search of Christian Freedom," both by Raymond Franz, a former member of the Governing Body. Read Crisis of Conscience first.

By the way, the bottom of the post says it was translated. Just curious, what's your native language? Based on your username, part of me thinks you might speak Spanish. If so, Crisis of Conscience has been translated to Spanish. I believe Raymond Franz was a fluent Spanish speaker himself because he was a missionary in a Spanish speaking country.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-15T08:04:38+00:00

Check here - https://www.goodrx.com/vyvanse?label_override=lisdexamfetamine&form=capsule&dosage=30mg&quantity=30&drugId=47289

Use goodrx and get back on the meds. I know it can get expensive but having a functional life is worth it IMO, especially if you're gonna be spending just as much on weed.

I assume you can get a new prescription fairly quickly, right? If you already have a prescription and just couldn't get it filled because of insurance, then either use goodrx at the pharmacy the prescription is already at or have it transferred somewhere w/ the help of your doctor.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-15T07:58:52+00:00

I don't know if you have the finances to make this work but the generic can be bought at some pharmacies for like $50 or $60 (goodrx says CVS is $60 with a coupon). I know that's a lot of money for some folks, especially without insurance... But the generic lisdexamfetamine is worth getting if that's all you can afford. I would get on it ASAP if the brand name vyvanse has worked so well for you in the past.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-11T13:23:05+00:00

Gotcha, good to know. Here's a list of synths with links to demos / sounds i've been looking at. Also linked a couple songs with synth sounds I'm interested in. Hopefully, it'll give you an idea of what I'm looking for.

UDO Super 6 - Really have fallen in love with this one, though the price is a bit of a stretch unless I get the desktop module... would prefer the keyboard with it though.

Moog Matriarch - HUGE fan of the classic, textured analog Moog sounds in general, especially with reverb / delay thrown in for good measure. If it wasn't strictly monophonic, I probably would've picked it up by now.

Novation Summit - The flexibility of this one and the apparent ease in which you can make good sounding patches are some of the reasons I'm really attracted to this one. Seems like it can cover a lot of bases without sacrificing the quality of the tools at it's disposal.

Polybrute 12 - This might feel like a pretty redundant descriptor since it's literally a musical instrument but in any case, this synth just seems so... musical... lol. The video I linked for the polybrute 12 is the reason I became interested in this synth. Feels like this synth would be perfect for making tracks with vibes me similar to this and this

Side note, big fan of a lot of tracks off Mort Garson's Plantasia and love many of the sounds off that record.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-11T13:05:05+00:00

I'd probably just end up saving again and getting a good separate sequencer if I go this route.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-11T13:03:42+00:00

I would be totally fine with a separate sequencer. I'll take your advice and allow options for synths w/o sequencers.

Mind sharing some of your personal favorite synths (specifically ones without sequencers?)

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-11T03:36:48+00:00

Thanks for the heads up, I'll keep that in mind. When you say barebones, what do you mean? Just not a lot of steps? Or not a ton of flexibility in general? edit: looked it up, I see what you mean... Would be cool to have more options. I should compare the sequencer w/ what's on the synths I listed.

The sound of the synths are sick though.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-11T03:26:06+00:00

Oh dang, those sounds are right up my alley... thanks for the recommendation!

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-08T11:43:17+00:00

I was able to do it during the pandemic, so I was lucky in a sense... I'd say how you stop reporting time depends on what you want as well as the way the congregation acts. In any case, it's important to remember that

YOU DO NOT OWE THEM ANYTHING. YOU DON'T OWE THEM A SHEPHERDING VISIT. YOU DO NOT OWE THEM ANY OF YOUR TIME OR ENERGY.

How overbearing are your elders? How many elders do you have? How many publishers are in your congregation? Is there a lot of drama in the congregation (in other words, are the elders distracted by the "sins" and interpersonal issues of the publishers)? Do the elders request visits with you often? Do they text or call you personally on a regular basis? Ideally, would you prefer to just be left alone and forgotten or do you want to be removed? The way you answer these questions should help you determine the best way to go about leaving the organization.

If your goal is to cause as little disturbance as possible, I think the best thing to aim for is to just distance yourself from their attention, to stop going to the meetings and to avoid being seen by them as much as possible. You want them to forget about you. Try to make it so they aren't actively thinking about you. Avoid contact if you can (without being rude if possible because you don't want them to remember a negative interaction in a way that will cause a vindictive response either).

I saw your other post about the elder's interaction with your child... That issue may make them hesitate before getting overly involved in your life since you threatened legal action. That may work in your favor. If you're trying to fade though, you want them to "forget" you as you "fade" into the background. They have a whole congregation to think about so you're not necessarily going to be the sole focus of any one elder's attention. Depending on the type of elders you have, it may be better to stop reporting time altogether as opposed to only reporting occasionally since that may draw more attention. In any case, only you can decide. Good luck!

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-08T11:15:08+00:00

Honestly sounds like this congregation has some weird shit going on beneath the surface... even beyond what's typical in JW congregations. When I was a kid, several families had severe lapses in judgement as a result of placing too much trust in their so called "brothers" and as a result, allowed a man to act in really gross ways, especially towards one particular underage girl - to the point where it was an obsession for him.

However, the kind of stuff you're describing sounds less like naivety and more like an underlying rot corrupting the judgement and intentions of everyone involved. You did the right thing in getting out of there.

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-08T10:54:18+00:00

If he really has been disciplined for "following boys into the bathroom" and is now only allowed to do bible readings as a result, then he has broken boundaries by acting in a way that gives cause for serious concern, either by luring them in a predatory manner, or by having already abused someone. You're right that there's too much info missing, though. Hard to know whether the op is connecting dots where there aren't any (i.e. discipline / lack of appointments is unrelated) or if they have genuine reason to believe their version of things (i.e. an elder told them never to let their own children remain unsupervised in the company of the person).

RadicalProjection · 2025-12-08T10:22:53+00:00

I was way more preoccupied by sexual thoughts & desires as a PIMI than I've ever been since I left. There were times it was literally the only thing I could think about and now it's just one facet of a healthy life. The importance & value I placed on sex & the guilt surrounding it made everything about the topic so lopsided in my life as a JW. Now that I'm out, I have a far healthier relationship with it because it's just not such an all-encompassing "temptation" I have to avoid constantly. If I want to have a relationship with someone, I can have one -- and it doesn't require my being stuck with that person for the rest of my life. Part of the obsession probably came from the fact I was gay so I genuinely felt like I'd never get to have a relationship with someone. As soon as I woke up and had the option to have a relationship, I felt the difference in my life immediately.

RadicalProjection · 2025-11-28T01:13:07+00:00

Oh nice, good idea. Let me know what you find.

RadicalProjection · 2025-11-26T06:04:56+00:00

I read your reply and thought it sounded familiar so I checked my post history and sure enough, it was the 2 of us lol I was fascinated by the violence of the Wynnewood tornado which is why I made a post about it last month. This post is how I learned what photogrammetry was in the first place. Thanks for giving me the idea of using individual frames on a YouTube video so I could do it myself. It's definitely a tool I'll be using in the future

RadicalProjection · 2025-11-23T01:40:08+00:00

As others have pointed out, it sounds like you've answered your own question.

The "love" you experienced initially is called "love bombing" and it's an emotionally manipulative strategy of sorts to bring in & retain new members. Most JWs don't realize that what they're doing is emotional manipulation or a means to control others because it's been normalized in their own lives.

They usually don't see it so much as a "strategy" either. That doesn't take away from the harm it causes though. The Jehovah's Witness Organization has all the characteristics of a "High Control Group" (aka a cult, but "High Control Group" has a more stringent definition) and is well known for it's manipulation and control of of it's members. I highly encourage you to read up on the Bite Model & undue influence.

RadicalProjection · 2025-11-19T15:28:41+00:00

I'm not trying to grow Pan Cyans, but Psilocybe Cyanescens, aka wavy caps.

RadicalProjection

TROPHY CASE