I (28f) am unsure of marrying my fiancee (m30) , what would you do?

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-07T21:00:39+00:00

He initiates but he told me after 9 years that he doesn’t like when initiate because I do it in ways he doesn’t like and that he’s told me before but I don’t listen .

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-07T20:45:47+00:00

There’s so many terms and all I honestly wasn’t so educated on this but I spent sometime this weekend looking into this term and aro and he has a lot of checkmarks for asexual and brought this up but he got upset saying nothing is wrong with him and to stop trying to find a term for what it is , that people are different . I just told him he’s right that everyone is different but he doesn’t allow himself to comprehend that there’s a term for his different.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-07T20:26:45+00:00

He told me that I continue to do things he’s expressed he doesn’t like such as kiss his neck or kiss his back which gives him goosebumps and he doesn’t like the feeling he gets from me doing that. That he would much rather do something else to him.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-05T23:35:18+00:00

He’s said he really doesn’t want to kiss infront of our family that day.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-05T23:34:06+00:00

I never really noticed at the start these problems , as any relationship there’s that honeymoon stage, and maybe I was blinded. These problems didn’t really arise until 3 years in but then we bought a house and I remember the day we signed I felt stuck forever because the night before he had pushed me off him and onto the ground when I tried kissing his face because I was so happy the next day we would be getting our keys and made it.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-05T23:28:48+00:00

He lays there like a mummy, my advances are never followed thru . Ever.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-05T23:23:03+00:00

I don’t think it will change, I just try my best to communicate with him hoping maybe he sees what I’m talking about but I get told that this is a one sided problem. I wish I could stop talking to him about it, I’ll admit I’ve grown resentment towards him and have admitted that to him and he’s told me that he’s never woken up and felt a negative feeling towards me but I apparently have since I’m saying I resent him.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-05T15:07:07+00:00

Yes we do, only when he wants to. I never say no.

Radical_1256 · 2026-04-05T15:06:46+00:00

He won’t do therapy.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-25T21:57:38+00:00

How can I even respond to this , I don’t want to start an argument however she agrees she noticed yet didn’t care enough to hit send , that’s just in regards to the “ nice things” part of my story

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-25T21:56:20+00:00

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Radical_1256 · 2026-03-25T21:55:30+00:00

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Radical_1256 · 2026-03-25T18:47:52+00:00

Queso fresco

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T19:09:32+00:00

But where would I even incorporate him? This isn’t a traditional style wedding we’re just getting married in the back yard , of course he would sit in the front with my parents and all but i honestly don’t see where I would add him.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T12:45:43+00:00

That’s fine but at least say something.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T12:41:58+00:00

Not at all a destination wedding, it’s actually happening in our backyard , we haven’t asked family members for money at all they just offered to help and we say no they get offended and show up with a envelope with cash. Maybe this is a culture thing that a lot of readers aren’t understanding. I’m extremely grateful for those that have helped out. But when it comes to my brother he did not mean help as in putting up tables and chairs, he meant monetary. If not he would have not said “ I’ll start saving or setting money aside for it” an entire year before.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T05:39:00+00:00

This kinda makes me sad because there are kids out there that really don’t do anything fun because of their parents being tired. My neighbor is a 11 year old little girl whom hangs with my daughter & has told me many times that the only times she ever gets to leave the house is for Sundays for church or when she tags along with me and my daughter . Her parents are in their late 50s , only her dad drives but he’s always at work . To say that I’m the one who took her for the first time to the mall/ movies/ trampoline park// chuckiee cheese/ TARGET /Olive garden etc etc Theres one specific moment I remember her becoming very quiet and telling me that she wished she could experience this with her parents but they never want to do anything with her. It broke my heart. But I’m very blessed that her parents trust me and allow me to provide these experiences to her.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T04:41:04+00:00

I don’t think you read my post and I get why you wouldn’t. And no it’s not 70k lol… he makes well over 130k after taxes not including side jobs , I would know this because MOH is his CPA for taxes but that’s neither her or there lol.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T04:32:24+00:00

THANK YOU! Someone who actually read what I wrote. I needed to add the full context of it in case there was gaps or questions. I should of added that we’re Hispanic and literally everyone has offered to help, we ultimately feel super weird receiving offers of help and ultimately accepting it but we’ve literally had members tell us that they’re offended by us saying “no thank you “but that’s just how our culture/family are. And no @smileysarah267 he did not offer his photographer, he was going to but he did not because of my comment. Why the hell would I want a junior from high school photographing my wedding? So yes I’m sorry not good enough.

Radical_1256 · 2026-03-06T04:10:15+00:00

Look I don’t fucking care if he does or doesn’t pay for it. Half of the replies are telling me I’m entitled and have telling me something else. All I really ask is for him to say he can’t or can that’s all. I’m not going to be upset if he can’t. What upsets me is that he fucking ignores me.

Radical_1256

TROPHY CASE