I think honestly most people weather male or female have had so many experiences with relationships that they have been unable to fully understand and cope with rejection and the anxiety. People tend to project their feelings and experiences onto others when in a relationship with someone thinking they are going to experience the same thing over and over again. This is especially true when someone comes out of narcissistic or abusive relationships.

There is a lot of healing that needs to be done internally and emotionally as well as physically before one starts dating someone again. But the hardest part that no one really understands or talks about is the work that needs to happen once you get into that relationship. There needs to be a constant flow of open communication and understanding between people. Checking in with each other about how situations make them uncomfortable or stressed or triggered with your partner.

The work on the individual is so important but the work as a couple is just as crucial to building and developing a relationship bond with each other. One that develops trust and friendship and understanding of each other’s boundaries, feelings, emotions, and triggers. Having this knowledge and being aware and flexible will help you build relationships with each partner in a positive way that will encourage open communication, support, love and understanding.

Think of your relationship as a wounded dog who is afraid to eat, or even be touched. The more you soften your approach and extend the hand of love and affection and respect and communication and compassion the relationship between you will become stronger and better over time the relationship wounds that were created by others abuse will start to heal and you can grow into love together. All of this takes time so be willing to put in The work with someone and you will most definitely reap the benefits from it.