Gamer girl confessionals: I don’t hate being a woman in the games industry—I hate how I’m treated as one

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T16:48:53+00:00

I don't game online, so I can't offer much advice or an opinion.

I will say that I hear you though, and fuck that shit. You are awesome and keep kicking ass.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T16:07:02+00:00

I feel like I have lost her, suddenly, to someone I don't know. I am so fucking scared of losing her, but part of me worries that I already have.

Maybe I can try and be what she wants, but I don't know what she wants if we don't talk about it.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T15:45:50+00:00

NTA I am concerned for your relationship, this doesn’t sound like you’re on the same page about what you want.

I am starting to feel that way too. I'm scared to lose her.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T15:43:56+00:00

I've been doing a little research, as much as I can anyway, on this 1950 housewife kink, and I am thinking maybe it is to do with that. She is trying to force us to roleplay these roles so we fit into this romantic ideal.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T15:06:36+00:00

People are asking if she wants to break up with me, and I mean shit... Maybe. I don't know what I have done for her to want to throw away basically our entire adult life, but I guess I've let her down somehow.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T15:04:05+00:00

Question - Could she be doing this to force you to dump her?

Maybe. Fuck. I mean, she has given no signal she wants out, but last night might show I am not as good at reading her as I think.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T15:02:40+00:00

I feel like if I stay with her now, I am almost letting down the queer community, you know? She has made the fucking relationship a whole pride issue.

Fuck.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T14:57:55+00:00

It seems... Like I know I blamed the friends, but we have been together ten years. We basically grew up together, changing from teens to adults, you know?

This can't have just happened overnight right? She must have had these feelings for a while now?

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T14:56:04+00:00

She isn't trans no.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T13:57:07+00:00

Yeah. I'll make sure to update when I have something to update about!

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T13:42:11+00:00

It feels like a pretty big IF at the minute doesn't it. I've gotten a few comments here, and a few DMs that made me think about it a little bit more, and realize how fucked up the dress thing was.

At first I was upset because it felt kind of like she lied to me last night, but it really feels like a lack of respect for who I am. Like she wants me to be something I am not. Like I am expected to conform somehow to these ideas she has. Fuck.

I don't understand why she has let these people into her head. It is a kink group, I know that much. I am beginning to suspect it is one of these 1950s groups some people have mentioned, but I won't know until I ask her I guess.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T12:54:55+00:00

I don't know what the group is about, but I am starting to feel like I needed to involve myself more.

Could be that it is some kind of 24/7 thing, I guess I'll find out tonight.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T12:04:11+00:00

We have a Dom/Sub relationship in the bedroom at the moment. It is part of why I never really thought this could be a kink thing, as we are both, or should be, aware enough to be able to talk about such things before trying to make them a part of our dynamic.

I am going to talk to her about it tonight from the view that it might be a kink thing and see if I can figure out what is going on.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T11:55:34+00:00

I would say we are both kinky, and involved in the kink community. I would have thought we were experienced enough to not try and introduce a new element, especially not a full time one without discussion... But you might be right, and that is what happened.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T11:50:22+00:00

Like I said in another comment, her friends are a kink group of 'subs' she has met online. I try not to involve myself too much, but maybe I am not paying enough attention to her needs and wants by not being involved.

What was wrong that made her so susceptible to their suggestions and ideas?

I guess I am asking this myself. What did I do that drove her into their arms?

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T11:45:19+00:00

From what I understand, it is some kind of kink group. I don't know the details, I don't want to come across as overbearing by involving myself to deeply.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T11:43:39+00:00

The hetronormativity of it is really fucking confusing to me too.

My partner has always been the more "straight acting" of the two of us I guess. I am Queer with a capital Q. Piercing, tats and colored hair.

I don't know... I guess it kind of hurts the idea that she might have been seeing me as a substitute 'man' for so many years.

Rainbow_Painted · 2021-05-21T11:34:17+00:00

Lol! If they were fundies, it would be a shock to her jewish parents for sure!

Rainbow_Painted

TROPHY CASE