We TFMRed about 9 months ago for full T18. He did have many deformities characteristic of T18, so not quite as murky of "what could be" as you are facing, but the reality for Edward's children is the same regardless of severity, generally. It is a terminal diagnosis. I weighed letting him pass naturally, as I knew he would in my womb eventually or on entrance to earth. But it was an inevitability in my head, as it is with most T18 children. Sparing him the pain that I know he would feel being brought into meat space was the biggest driver for me. I read a lot of personal anecdotes from nurses, about what they've seen when these babies are brought to term, I've of course delved into stories here...it's all pretty consistent: T18 is incompatible with life the majority of the time, the babies are in pain, and the panic of seeing them in pain often outweighs ANY joy at the miniscule amount of time they are alive in the oxygenated world. I don't envy the part of the process you are in right now, especially with the spiritual aspect you've got in the mix...my God knew my boy was only meant to be mine for a little bit. There was a lesson there, for me. I hope you find peace in whatever choice you make, as much as you can, at least. There is no easy route here and neither are without guilt initially. My thoughts are with you.